How can I stop feeling embarrassed all the time?

[2Point4Cats]

I'm the biggest overthinker in the world. Honestly. Probably four out of seven days per week I'll cringe over something I've said, or worry what someone thinks, or hate myself for doing something wrong.

I can't seem to brush things off like other people do, I obsess over things for days and am convinced everyone either hates me or feels sorry for me or just basically thinks I'm a twat. I always feel humiliated or stressed or worried. It never ends. Even my own Mum who I'm so close to and who I know loves me, I'll convince myself that deep down she's ashamed and is probably just exasperated with me. She's done and said absolutely nothing to indicate this, quite the opposite. She's amazing.

How do I stop thinking about this shit? Sometimes I wish I was a bloke. They don't give a shit.

I’m a bit like that and it’s torture. I’ve found it’s a million times worse with menopause. Don’t know if it’s relevant but hrt helped. Otherwise I think CBT can help but probably worth speaking to GP to see if they can suggest anything?

Honestly the only thing you can do is not care. Convince yourself that you don’t care what people think. I never feel embarrassed, people are way more bothered about themselves. Do you ever look at someone and think ‘oh god I’m sooo embarrassed for them..’. I bet you don’t.

CBT or journaling. Stop making feeling go away pause her your thought entirely and then advise yourself as a friend, finish by giving yourself on how to better deal with things next time. If it replays again in your mind remind yourself of your resolution plan and give yourself grace. People are busy worrying about themselves than us, nobody says you have to act perfect who cares.

See my post is so embarrassing it hardly even makes sense I typed like I'd been on Tequila all day 😂

Im like this too. Not as bad, as I used to be but still feel like this more than I should. Ive tried therapy but not been able to change. I know mine partly stems from severe bullying at high school but im 45 now!! and i still sometimes feel like that insignifigant little person who noone really likes..

I found simply asking myself ‘what’s the worst that could now happen’ sometimes helps…though the struggle remains real….

This will sound bizarre but have you ever had your vitamin B12 levels checked. I was always like this and turns out had undiagnosed issue with B12 and folate. When I started getting my b12 jabs this went away!

Have you ever had any therapy? It sounds like you need to get to the root cause of your insecurity.

The huge advantage for people like me is that people like the OP are so wrapped up in their own self-doubt that they don’t even notice if I’m being an idiot. And if the OP could only see that. The vast majority of other people are only obsessed with their own internal angst, so she doesn’t have any cause to worry about what others think of her, because they don’t think about her at all. They are way too occupied thinking about themselves!

Hi OP. Look up RSD. I really relate to it and have found it helpful as a way of understanding why I think the way I do x

I’m like this too, it can be torture. I’ve noticed it gets significantly worse in the run up to my period and if I drink alcohol and have the audacity to get even a tiny bit drunk, that also makes it ten times worse. I think it’s RSD as a previous poster mentioned.

I try to manage it by reminding myself that, without sounding harsh, nobody thinks about me as much as I do. Everyone’s got their own stuff to be thinking about rather than me doing or saying something that is more often than not in the grand scheme of things very minor. I also try to imagine how I’d think/feel if someone else did the thing I was worrying about, or if I’d even notice if someone else did that. People are allowed to make mistakes. I don’t analyse or judge other people as harshly as I do it to myself, so I try to give myself some grace in the same way I do for others, I don’t need to hold myself to such impossible standards, it’s ok to not be exactly perfect all the time.

There are plenty of people in the world who go through life being complete arseholes with no thought or care for anyone else, so it could be worse. We could be like them, but we’re not.

Well, try to see it as the damaging form of self-obsession that it is. Your first impulse will probably to be to say ‘No, self-obsessed people love themselves — I’m not like that’, but no, actually, it’s the same. Whether you’re thinking about how great you are or how awful and embarrassing you are, you’re still unhealthily focused on yourself and how you appear to others, and the effect you’re having on them. It pushes other people away because you’re too focused on you to actually pay much attention to them, except as people who are thinking about you with possible dislike or disapproval.

I’d suggest that you need to find things to do, whether that’s work or a hobby, which are so absorbing they put you into a flow state where you’re barely aware of yourself. Give yourself a holiday from you. Also do things where the focus is all on the other person. Wean yourself off your bad habit.

CBD oil (or gummies) has helped me chill out in the overthinking department. Especially in the evening / at night. Recommend trying, while waiting for therapy and before anti anxiety pills.

Pretty sure everyone does this OP. In fact only cringing about past events 4 out of 7 days is really good I think. Surely most people do it many times daily, I know I do.

Look up the Flo and Joan song "Rest of my life".