Gaps in my memory

[whyyyyyisitmonddayy]

I’m in my early 20s.

I have two kinds of memory gap. I went through extreme stress as a child and as a result I have two missing years. I don’t remember hardly anything, just that I had this weight on my chest. It was horrible and I’m sure my memory loss is a way of coping.

anyway, the second type is I’m losing time. I lost my glasses and they weren’t in the case, only to magically show up a day later. I also bought something at a shop and lost it 20 seconds after purchase and had to go back. I’m struggling to concentrate. This is only the past few days.

however, for the past six months I haven’t been sleeping more that six hours a night. My partner and I were living together but we couldn’t afford rent so I’m back home, and I dread sleeping without him. When we’re together I go into a catatonic sleep. I mean, completely unwakeable. Sleeping for 12 hours at least. Really lethargic.

is this just stress / lack of sleep or something more insidious? My memory is otherwise fantastic.

From things I have read, our brains do sometimes suppress memories as a form of protection. Apparently, those memories can surface years later when we are better equipped to deal with them. If that is true and how that works, I really don’t know. But that might explain your missing memories of that part of your childhood.

As for the stressful situation you are in now and your current memory loss…. Stress and lack of sleep play havoc with memory for some people. I have experienced things similar to how you lost your glasses and the thing you bought. Even if I’m not consciously thinking about whatever is stressing me, it fogs up everything else. And if I don’t get enough sleep for a while my memory is shot, especially with the mundane. I have been thirsty, standing at the sink holding a glass and then, for a moment, wondered why I was there.

Once the stress has passed or I am at least more at ease with it, all that annoying forgetfulness eases too. And, of course, I sleep better which, for me, makes everything better.

Being at ease with stressful situations probably sounds contradictory, that if you are at ease with a situation then it can’t be stressful. It is something I learned about via google and now don’t have links to. Sorry. Searching stress management will bring up a lot of information about keeping physically well - exercise, healthy diet which really do help. But if you drill down you will find information about how to mentally change your approach to stressors. It gives techniques which help you view these situations differently as soon as they arise, so although you will have some stress it doesn’t become overwhelming.

Having said all that, if you feel something is going on with your body in addition to the stress you are under then you should definitely speak to your doctor.

I have experienced the same due to childhood trauma which has resulted in CPTSD. Big chunks of my childhood memories are missing. When I chat to my sisters, they often reference the past and I always struggle as I am the only one that can’t recall events.