Private home care and exploitation. Need advice about leaving an entitled employer.

[MayRedRose]

I started as a nanny with a clear contract and set hours. Over time, those boundaries were slowly chipped away. One of the children has a disability; they are a sweet child and I genuinely enjoy working with them, but the parents have used the child’s condition to demand more and more of my life.

They created a factory line of carers to facilitate their intense social life. However, one by one, every other worker has made excuses and quit because the demands are too much. Now, I am the only one left.

The parents recreational life is constant. While I work anything from 40 to 90 hour weeks, they are attending golf trips, concerts, matches, and multiple birthday parties sometimes the multiple birthday parties is for the same people. They want to go to birthday lunches and dinners and the the main event or party for the same people. Lately, they’ve had me working late just so they can have BBQs in the sun. They are even planning a holiday where they leave their disabled child behind for me to mind 24/7 for a week. That was booked under the pretense that there would be extra cover and respite for me but I now realise that was a lie. They just wanted me to agree to something open ended and then they dump more on me.

Today, the mother called me in tears, using a nasty tone to complain that they have no cover for the next few weekends. She is indirectly demanding I work 7 days a week to cover for the fact that no one else will work for them anymore. My income never increases no matter how many extra hours they drip-feed me.

Often they don't even tell me extras. Like I could spend all day working thinking that I might be finished at 6 or 7 or 8 pm and they might just decided not to come home because they want to go for dinner.

I am dreading this summer. I see a schedule of parties and weddings where I am expected to be the 'slave' while they play. They’ve even tried to take this.weekend by giving me a random weekday off last minute instead.

I am sick and tired. In any other job, there would be legal boundaries and respect. Am I wrong to want out immediately? How do I resign when they are already trying to guilt-trip me into a 7 day work week.

You say you are not available. You sound a dedicated carer. Get yourself a job with people that look after you. I would also be telling social services as they are probably getting Direct Payments to exploit you.

Think you need a new job

Sounds like slave labour. Are you a live in au pair rather than a Nanny?

Time to arrange a meeting with them to discuss working hours, overtime rates and out of hours boundaries. Plenty jobs out there in the care sector, start applying!

https://www.acas.org.uk/advice

Have you a record of the hours worked? If you’re a nanny, can you bill them for the additional hours?

Apply for different jobs.

I genuinely don’t understand. Why would you not just say no to all these bloody silly requests?
You are letting them take you for a mug!

I’d make sure you know where your passport, bank cards and documents are, and that you have them securely with you. I’d make sure I had some kind of dated document that confirms you were a paid worker with them, to act as a makeshift reference (any emails? Could you email one of them at their work account ‘by mistake’ if you have nothing else, double checking the holiday dates?) I’d get in touch with an agency, rent a room, then resign as soon as they are next in the house.

Don't do it. I had a friend, the parents tried to set her up to be alone with 5 kids while they were abroad for a whole week

Have you been posting about this family for years??

Hi, OP -

Even if you are not here legally, ACAS, linked by @Ritasueandbobtoo9 above, can help.

Also ATLEU provides free legal help to regular and irregular immigrants being exploited, as you are:

www.atleu.org.uk

If you live with the family, @PermanentTemporary has excellent advice, especially about your documents. Keep your docs and your devices secure. Can you pack an emergency bag?

The DC with a disability is sympathetic to all, but this is wrong. If the parents continue making it your problem, eventually you will break. You’ll be no help to the child then.

Possibly if the parents realise how serious you are they will reform out of necessity.

Tell them you can "only" work 50 (or 40) hours a week.

Start saying no. As in, "im not available".

If you get no joy, try "that takes my hours to less than minimum wage" and "can I have my payslips, I beed to complete my tax return".

ETA - keep a note of your hours, and get your employer to confirm IN WRITING first...

It sounds very familiar

Are you a live in carer as you sound as though you have no choice about this ? Demand a meeting with them to discuss your terms and conditions before agreeing to any more hours. Document what is agreed. Have someone with you in your meeting for support. I appreciate you may have forged a bond with the child but when you say you are ‘dreading the summer’ it is a job at the end of the day and you are free to leave if you want ? If you live in and they are taking advantage, seek some advice from ACAS etc as others have said. You can even report to police /social services if you are being made to work ridiculous hours and not being paid. Or contact Citizens Advice. Sounds like they don’t spend much if any time with their child.

Your income should be paid for all extra hours. Why stand for this? Just walk out. You should have left months ago.

Have you got somewhere you could stay?
id be going to the doctors and getting a sick note for 4 weeks and using that time to weigh up your options
I’m sure you’d find other work in that time.

Do you have a record of your hours? Have you been paid minimum wage? If not, contact ACAS to find out how to make a claim for backpay.