Will DH even notice if I get rid of an item of his clothing?

[LindorDoubleChoc]

My husband is away for a few days. He has a top which he wears reasonably often which I don't like. It is now 6 years old (I know this for certain because there's a dated logo on it), faded and the transfers are rubbing away. I'm going to put it in the recycling vag. Do you think he will even notice? I promise to come back and update if/when he ever mentions it. Even if it's years from now.

You could ‘hide’ it by putting it away in the drawer underneath another T-shirt. This might just be my husband though. He only wears the top layer of clothes and is shit at looking for stuff.

You are controlling. If a man did this he’d be crucified on here but apparently it seems to be ok for you to do it because you’re a woman…

I would hide it and see if he notices. If after a month he’s not asked where it is , then get rid of it. I’ve thrown dh’s faded and tatty tops away before and he’s never said anything.

@baddayformeredith yes, i agree. They only take the top T-shirt.

This! My dsis does this, her DH will keep stuff years after it is only fit for gardening in. She moves the offending item to a drawer he doesn’t use and if he doesn’t notice after a few months then it gets thrown away. The only exception was his horrendous budgie smuggler swimming trunks. He still thinks they were lost on holiday somewhere…

Why would you want to be such a dick?

Unless you’re equally happy for your husband to chuck your stuff in the bin without asking 🤷‍♀️

Is he allowed to throw away your clothes if he doesn’t like them?

Leave his stuff alone! I would never do that to my partner, what a ridiculous thing to do. And shallow.

He wears it reasonably often so I would think he would notice. I’d tell my partner if I didn’t like something he wore but I wouldn’t just throw it away. Thats not acceptable, and if he threw away my stuff, I’d be really annoyed. He’s not a twat though so he wouldn’t.

Precisely. I think this is awful and agree if a man was posting saying "I don't like a dress my wife wears so I'm going to throw it out" there would be a long line of posts saying he was controlling and abusive and to LTB.

I don't like some of DH's clothes. I commented once on a god awful t shirt he was wearing once and he turned around to me and said "I don't make personal comments about your clothing" which brought me up short because he was right. I'd hate it if I wore a top I liked and DH turned round and made me feel self conscious about it.

DH has shirts he never wears hanging in the cupboard taking up space. I sometimes find it really annoying because he has far too many clothes that he doesn't wear. It's very tempting to take them one at a time and throw them in the Thrifty clothes bag, but even if he didn't notice, I couldn't do that to him.

its stealing, simple as.

Don't do it. I'd be annoyed if someone did that to me.

It's really disrespectful to do this. So what if you don't like it? It isn't yours, and you don't get to control what he wears.

If you did that to me I’d throw something of yours away.
you wouldn’t have a leg to stand on

Glad it’s not just my husband!

DH has got a collection of T-shirts which I hate, some with old work logos on which are just horrible, some really old ones full of holes and a couple of paint covered ones. I ask him to get rid of them every time he wears them but would never throw them out myself.

How much you feel if he chucked away one of your favourite items of clothing?

I have recycled some of DH's clothes in the past and he just thinks he has misplaced them, then forgets about it but these are just general clothes rather than favourites

12 years?! Blimey!

I see it has a transfer on it, I have said in the past that it's best to put it out because bits have come off in the wash and gone on other stuff, bit like a tissue in the wash, DH never does the washing so doesn't question it

I wouldn’t throw it out without telling him. My mum used to do this to me and let me spend hours looking for the item - I eventually caught her in the act of throwing out my new denim miniskirt and then the penny dropped. Just tell him the moths got it or you spilled bleach on it or you washed it with red pants and it turned pink so you had to bin it. At least then he’ll know not to waste his time searching for it.

I mean - it's stealing, and you imply you're going to lie about it if questioned rather than saying "yes, it was minging so I've tossed it, call the police". So possibly a bit deceitful and cowardly all 'round, even before you've even done anything, plus perhaps a bit of a mum complex?

Why not just - oh, I dunno - TELL him you don't find this particular shirt attractive on him or pleasant to view, and see if he'll refrain from wearing it around you?

I don’t think it’s much better to lie to him!
Don’t treat him like a child OP. If you hate him wearing the t-shirt, tell him. It’s up to you what he does with that information.

Go onto Vinted, or into Primark, buy some respectable t-shirts for him for a few quid, then ask if you can chuck out the old tatty one.

😂😂

Surely that's infantilising the DH, he's a grown man not a 5 year old having his clothes chosen by a wife turned mother. No wonder men never grow up!