I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m struggling.

[sorrynamechanger]

I’ve name changed, I’m really struggling.

Since perimenopause I’ve become more and more sound sensitive, we live near a busy road and the noise is becoming overwhelming. We had secondary glazing fitted and although quieter I can still hear it.

The neighbours 2 little girls scream all the time, not playing just heads back screaming. It overwhelms me.

I work away a lot and although I don’t hate my job being away for weeks at a time has begun to feel too much.

I got home less than a week ago and one of our cats was limping the day after, took her to the vet to discover what we thought would be arthritis is actually an aggressive cancer and in the vets words it’s not too early to put her to sleep. So a decision needs to be made for next week. Although she doesn’t seem in pain and still doing everything normally I know cats can mask and neither dh or I want her to get to a stage where she’s uncomfortable that for us is too late. I can’t process it, she was fine and all of a sudden she’s not and in the space of a week the cat who is woven into the fabric of our lives for 15 years will no longer be with us.

I feel so overwhelmed, I normally can cope with a lot I get on with things I just carry on but I’m at a point where it’s all too much and the thought of losing our cat has been the last straw.

I don’t know what to do with myself, we are planning on selling early next year we aren’t quite ready this year. I don’t really know what I want from this, I feel like I’m drowning. I cannot stop crying which is so unlike me.

You poor thing! Each of the things you mention - perimenopause, noise, working away, and losing a beloved pet - have been and would be overwhelming for me, even on their own. I think the death of a pet is almost unbearably hard for some but isn’t always recognised for the trauma it is.

Is there any way to reduce the impact from even one of your stressors? Maybe getting really good ear defenders or noise cancelling headphones? I find that these stressors are cumulative, so addressing just one can make bearing the others easier.

Sorry to hear about your cat.
and it sounds like you’re really overwhelmed, which is understandable. Another one for peri. HRT?
But I would be crying over the cat too. Maybe put off the house move until you’re feeling mentally stronger.

I wear earplugs at night now but given the current situation I’m not doing that in case our cat needs anything. I don’t know what I think she might need, I don’t think she’s going to jump on the bed and request a cup of tea. I just want to be alert incase, so my mind is in overdrive, I’m already grieving before she’s left us, she seems so well my brain can’t compute. I am leaving for work again in a couple of weeks and I’m dreading it and every man and his dog is on the road today.

I feel like running away renting somewhere rural and hiding. I really don’t know how much more I can handle which is also hard for me to admit because it’s never been me, I’m the one who sorts everything, the person others come to for help and now I feel absolutely useless that I can’t help myself.

There’s absolutely no shame in taking HRT or antidepressants to give you some strength right now. Losing a beloved pet is hard enough without perimenopause but both together are far too much without something giving way.
I found myself crying constantly about almost anything when I started peri so I got signed off work, went on hrt and fluoxetine and a load of vitamins and I’m like a new woman. Please get yourself to the gp at least for a chat about the options.