Does having babies in perimenopause help you look younger

[Thisisit26]

I’m in a weird zone of having friends who are having babies and ttc and (due to having children at the same time -20’s/30’s ) friends who have kids who are older like teens /young adults etc. I have teens and a 10 year old . I went to a wedding recently of a friend and they have two very small kids and are ttc , they are the same age as me . I look pretty good for my age I think… ( just turned 40) and when I was with this group of friends at the wedding it was amazing fun and everyone seemed way younger .. when I’m with my my mum friends with kids way older but a similar age to me and wedding friends the talk is all menopause, being exhausted , “getting on” now kind of vibe. It’s really weird and honestly with 3 kids and a job etc I am very tired … I feel these other moms look way older than my friends who all have babies or ttc , is it due to more years at parenting ? Do the pregnancy hormones de-age people a bit ? We are all roughly the same age as each other .. I can’t imagine me or my friends with older kids having babies now (bloods all fine etc ) . It’s just curiosity but I’m assuming it’s the years at parenting than anything.

I looked good when I had dd at 40. At 52 it's catching up with me. I think if your having kids 40+ there's some subconscious pressure to not look ancient in the way my gran could as a mum of a baby at 43. She turned 40 and donned the 40+ uniform. Times change

Are you sure your friends with much younger children are the ones who look younger?! Have I understood you correctly?

I would have thought sleep deprivation, toddler tantrums, and the like, are far more ageing in the moment?

Being pregnant and full of lovely hormones probably gives a perimenopausal woman have a youthful glow. Looking after a baby and not getting enough sleep can be guaranteed to give her the opposite.

There’s a reason we’re designed to have babies when young.

But OP is saying her 40something friends with young children look younger than her friends with grown up children who had them much younger? I can’t think what could be driving this, given how much early parenting can age a person.

Perhaps the naturally youthful are more likely to delay parenthood and prolong child-free years having fun etc.?

I've always looked young for my age (commented on by people quite a bit) and I had another baby at 38, I'm 40 next week and this kid is ageing me more than I would like 😂

It’s because they aren’t ground down yet. 😂 Give it time. Nothing will age you faster than having babies in your 40s. It just hasn’t happened yet. That said, if they are having babies and (successfully) ttc, they likely aren’t in perimenopause or at least maybe not as far along as you.

Wasn't it just because you were all dressed up and in party/ festive mood for the wedding?

By the sound of it you're comparing ordinary daily drudge with your friends who have teenagers to one wedding weekend away with the friends in ttc and baby mode.

I don’t know OP. I have never wondered to myself whether my friends look older or younger than anyone else.

More time spent on themselves when they were younger maybe? Exercising, healthy eating, beauty treatments and skincare, time to relax and sleep, investing in fashion etc? I was 30 and 34 when I had mine and now I’m 42. I still think I look young, 40 isn’t exactly ancient, I think it’s pretty normal to look good still in early 40s?

I actually think it’s this 😂😂

I'm a mum of teens and I definitely have more energy/resilience than colleagues 10 or more yrs younger who have younger or no children - not saying I look younger/better, I look my age but I am able to keep up with the demands of a stressful full time job better than them. Its actually women my age or in 50s that are holding our place of work together. But yeah we may not look as pretty/fashionable

Nobody can defy nature, and as one gets older it rapidly takes its toll.

Could it be they've got more disposable income as they've waited until they are more established to have kids? So they can still afford hairdressers/treatments/Botox etc?

I have no idea if that's the case, just speculating. I've just found out I'm pregnant (DC's are 7 and 3) at 40 and I look like the reanimated corpse of my 30 year old self......

I would expect the opposite with sleep deprivation at that age. How you age is in lifestyle choices and genetics.

Tbh this could well be it . It’s probably more the overall conversations and mid set but we are at just very different life stages I guess .

No , this isn’t it at all , I could understand that if it was the case. Big congrats! I honestly believe that all those lovely hormones in pregnancy help really fend off perimenopause and the glow keeps going post baby for a while !

I possibly agree with this.
Im 42 with a 2 and 4 yo.
It has aged me terribly. I am shocked with how much its changed me.

I do think if my kids were 15 no way would I bother with botox.

But equally people are just different...

I was in my late 20’s , early 30’s with babies and toddlers (I’ve 3 dcs ) and I looked awful , absolutely shocking tbh, I had very bad sleepers. Now , I actually look pretty good for my age (dare I say !) I was just surprised by how my friends are having children a good 10 years later and honestly look amazing. I run, healthy diet , luckily have no health issues yet and I do actually invest in some Botox but I think it’s more about the mindset than looks maybe now. I am tired though as I find preteens and teens hard work with managing work too (my dh and I also have zero support and never had so it is probably that also). It might be worth getting more bloods as I definitely feel more tired than I should based in some answers above !

Yes I was saying to mil I'm very lucky that only have a few grays at 52. She said just embrace it, and I do. But if if start going drastically gray before dd finishes year 11 I told mil it's not fair to just embrace everything aging. Some of my friends are completely gray with year ten kids. They look amazing. Stunning. Beatiful. Because they are not also 52 with a 11 year old.

So I feel I some duty to my dd to get low lights or keep up with fashion or both not to look like her gran and show her Up. My eldest is 22 and I could not care less what his mates think I look like as I'm his mates mums age or younger.

My dd comments on my age often. I strongly feel it's OK to look your age. But unfortunately I also feel I need to consider my dd when I genuinely a outlier having a baby at 40 even in very, very expensive posh Surrey hamlet.

No botox, I'm far to lazy and tight for that ( yet!) But ask me again when someone asks dd if I'm her gran!

The friends with younger children just haven’t been aged by parenting for longer!