Am I wrong not to let her father see her now?

[Alieb0005]

During my pregnancy he would tell me he didn’t care. Told me to get rid of it bc it would make his life easier. Would tell me the only way he’ll respond is if I said it was an emergency to start with. Would purposely ignore me. All because he wanted to sleep around in peace.

I gave birth and I didn’t tell him bc he didn’t care nor ask about the pregnancy or baby. Eventually I told him. He didn’t ask her name, birthday or for any pictures.

6 months later he now says he wants to see his daughter. I have not let him bc I begged him for months, everyday I would beg him and always ask “why don’t u care”.

I hardly message him anymore, he messages me like once every 2-3 weeks saying can I see my daughter. Am I evil for not letting him?

I have sent 2 pictures of her and he has gotten angry bc I sent pictures but I won’t let him physically see her. I’ve tried to have normal conversation with him recently and he’s on the same bs. He’ll just disappear from like 5pm till 8am the next day.

he’s done some horrible things to me aswell.

Stop messaging him. You are picking at a scab and won't be able to heal until you do.

If he really wants to see her (as opposed to playing games and messing with your head) he can go to court.

If the horrible things he did to you were violent or abysive, then I think it's reasonable that you don't contact him, and let him go the route of going to court. It would be better for your child not to be exposed to him or any abuse. You need to stop contacting him though.

But if he was say cheating on you, then I think you should try to support a relationship between them, for your child's sake.

I don't think you can make a whole final decision from the first 6 months. He should have a chance to prove himself imo

I take it he's accepted his responsibilities and is paying child maintenance...?

Put in a claim

I mean, yeah he was a dick. But sounds like he’s had a change of heart and I don’t think it should be solely up to you to penalise him for his initial reaction.

sending him pictures of his child while telling him he’s not allowed to see them is shitty imo.

you either completely cut him off and let him go through the courts, or you let him have access like civilised human beings who care about how their child might develop relationships in their family later on, rather than for your own benefit.

Nope he hasn’t done anything.

Nah yesterday she was really poorly and I was scared and I know he works 10 mins away from where I live. And I asked him to drop us to A&E and he told me why am I asking him, get an uber.

ive also told him her name in the past. And months later he’s asked what her name is again.

I’m not basing it solely on the first 6 months I’m also basing it on how he said horrible things about her when I was pregnant and how I was treated and assaulted whilst pregnant

Go through the courts.

Yep, i will no longer be contacting him. Thankyou for the advice

And put in a claim via CMS! This is independent of contact. If you don't need it then great. Put it in a savings account for her future.

Wait so yesterday he could see her but today you changed your mind

For goodness sake ensure he pays for his child op. Nothing to do with contact, it’s a separate matter. He should be taking some degree of financial responsibility to support his child.

Yes I gave him the chance yesterday and he said he didn’t want to see her

He doesn't know her name
He hasn't provided anything for her..
He didn't care she needed to get to hospital.
He isn't a nice man.
Block and delete all ways you can see his number...
And move on. He wants proper access he can persuade a judge he is serious.
Which you know he won't..
My ex walked away when dd was under 2... No regrets. I never contacted him.

I’ve asked him in the past and he said he doesn’t have to, but I’ll do the court way

Thankyou for your advice xx
I hope you and ur little one are thriving

Perhaps he wants to use her existance to claim benefits of some sort?

Is his name on the BC? If not, I think you can ignore him. He could apply through the courts but I don't think he'd have any success.

If you apply for CMS, can he use this as a way to try to see your DD? Make sure you do everything through the official channels so they can help you when he starts making trouble.

You don’t go to court for maintenance. Just google the child Maintenece service and start a claim.

keep records of all the messages he has sent and write a detailed account of when he has attacked you when pregnant.

if I was you I’d stop contacting him, change your phone number and move house if I could if he knew where I lived. Make the break clean and final. Someone who won’t take their child to A and E won’t be fighting in court for access

He doesn't want to see his DC Op, he's using her as a way to wind you up again, if he cared he'd have taken her to hospital. Ask the CMS for maintenance and stop reacting to him