Need to vent out of pity and amazement! So...managed to flee from abusive ex many years ago. The all familiar nonsense followed of using child contact/maintenance to attempt to maintain control me still over the years, never bothered to see his child unless it suited, which was a couple of occasions over the years, work colleagues and family given the age old parental alienation story.
Rared up when realised I was in a happy stable relationship etc, and miraculously became interested in child again when he was due to remarry. ( His then fiancee appeared and had a highly inappropriate literal hissy fit shouting at the door " he just wants to see his child" straight out of Eastenders style! Had to point out that she was being recorded on the police installed emergency panic system for DV victims. )
Anyway had the unfortunate experience recently of being in the same cafe as ex's now wife, although she presumably didn't recognise me, discussing the situation with a friend. Now I know that obviously ex won't have told her the truth, but even I was taken aback by the level of utter BS she has been told, even after all this time. Now, of course I totally understand she has been hoodwinked and lied to the way I was, about so so many things, but l did wonder has it ever seemed strange to her he never got a solicitor/ went to court to see the child he claimed to love to bits? ( Despite all the ridiculously childish "see you in court" letters l got from him!)
Has she ever thought that the phrase " from your REAL Dad" and other highly inappropriate comments in the first card he'd sent child in years on discovering l had married was odd? That refusing to pay any financial contribution towards university or for that matter anything at all literally the day their child turned 18, when he contributed to his stepchildrens education? That despite knowing child's address/ specific contact phone number he never contacted her, except to " accidentally " send text messages " by mistake" to his many (imaginary) girlfriends on the contact phone on hearing about my new partner?
Although tempted l obviously didn't correct her or make any remarks, but tbh it sounded like she was trying to convince herself! I suppose what I'm trying to say is that really l actually feel pity for her, not anger, as like with most things, the truth always comes out in the end, and l should imagine she may well be enduring the abuse l did, as abusers generally never seem to change, and something lately has presumably triggered her anger after all this time? I know her feelings are nothing to do with me, but my heart sank thinking here we go again, another woman a victim of his duplicitous life.