Worried my sister’s partner is isolating her and causing family conflict

[Misssparkles2]

My sister’s partner has always been chaotic. It’s not new to hear he’s got into a fight with someone random or presented aggressive behaviour (not seen directly to my sister). But recently he’s been doing it within our family. Shouting and swearing at me and even my mum. Causing fights within the family, calling people up individually to cause tension, bad mouthing members of the family and when confronted lying about what he’s doing, even though he doesn’t know we have all spoken and have identified he’s creating issues from nothing

Im worried my sister may be experiencing abuse. Over time she’s become financially dependent on him. He’s even taken over her career and started to manage her and in return her career has declined. It’s like he’s trying to divide the family and I’m worried. I’ve experienced his outburst of swearing and name calling and I think if he can do that to me who is my sister younger sister (15 years) and my mum what does he do to my sister behind closed doors. She now hardly sees us since we have pulled him up on his behaviour and we only hear from her on call when she’s outside the house.

Has anyone got advice on what I and my family can do and what we should be lookin out for ?

Unfortunately I don't think there much you can do without your sister being willing to do something about it herself or seek help.

You can try to gently talk to her to see if she opens up but be careful not to push too much because the risk is she will probably tell him and in response he will isolate her more while she retreats from you.

The most important thing is to keep the door open and let her know you will always be there to support her if/when she needs and I would also probably try to limit contact with her husband given he is now being abusive to you and our mother.

Unfortunately in abusive controlling relationships it's very difficult to help or force change until the abused is ready for help or wants to make a change.

It must be really difficult watching your sister in such a situation and feel so helpless that you can't just shake her hard to wake up and leave 😢

OP you can contact Women's Aid or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline and speak to someone about the best way to help and support your sister. She may not be ready now to leave but hopefully she will one day and you can be there to help her. Try your best not to allow the husband to isolate her from her family, she needs you. Keep in touch with her, even if it's just text and calling, make sure she knows she can come to you anytime day or night.