How do you respond when medics dismiss significant weight loss?

[JohnTheRevelator]

When a medical professional tells them they should lose weight when they have already lost a substantial amount? I have lost 104 lbs (7 stone 4 lbs) over the last 3 years,was nearly 21 stone at my heaviest,I'm now 13 stone 7 lbs. Which I know is still overweight for my 5 ft 6 in! I had an orthopaedic consultation yesterday (bad osteoarthritis in one of my hips). Practically the first thing the consultant said to me was 'Have you tried to lose some weight?'. I've also had it said to me at a nurses appointment a few months ago. She asked me to stand on the scales then said 'You could do with losing some weight'. When I told her I'd already lost just over 7 stone,she said in a sniffy tone 'Well,you need to lose at least another 3 stone'. Sometimes I wonder why I bother! Seriously though,it is really discouraging. And I'm not sure of either of them actually believed me when I told them how much I'd already lost.

Well, they're right.

Now are they supposed to know you've already lost weight?

I suppose they could be like "well, done for starting?"

Horrible first comment. The nurse is actually wrong - 11st 1lb would get you down to the healthy BMI bracket so 2.5 stone not 3. And you’ve already gone from obese bracket to overweight so you are doing brilliantly! Well done on your loss so far!

Thank you for your kind comments. I think the first poster just wanted to pile in with the medical professionals!

If they don’t know you then they will have no clue that you have lost so much so I do not see how they can be at fault for mentioning it. I can see why you are miffed but remember you are probably very sensitive when it comes to any mention of your weight.

Well they could a) look at her historic medical records b) ask her about her weight history and/or c) not be rude when she explains she has already lost weight. None of those are difficult things do to.

Just say yeah I am doing I've lost x amount so far and still have x amount to go.

This is one of lots of reasons they need to be much more sensitive on this topic.

Another is that they don’t know if you were hospitalized with anorexia in your 20s, ffs.

They come barging in criticizing your weight, and they’ve no idea of the history.

They also surely know that it is completely ineffective. They’re not going to offer you any actual help or the highly effective treatments that are now available for weightloss.

Oh, you must be new to MN.

No one eats anything but oxygen but all on WLI
They don't drink alcohol (but you know they do)
They make fun of overweight/obese people and gang up to do it

But, aside from that, good job OP! Who cares what anyone says about your weight loss, or doesn't say, given that almost every medical professional we see these days (consultants are the exception, most times, not always) are fat, themselves and in no position to advise re: weight!

You would think it was just human nature to say something like ‘that’s great, well done’ when a person tells you an achievement like that.

On the other hand, I really do think that in a medical situation, professionals should be able to talk about weight in a matter of fact way. I don’t think it should be skirted around that being overweight is having an effect on the body.

Agree with most of these comments. There was a nicer and better way of approaching this.

They could say something along the lines of, “that’s fantastic you’ve lost 7 stone - nearly there. Just X more stone to go”

Also on a slightly separate but related note, it’s well known that many doctors and nurses relate everything to being fat. To the extent that they sometimes disregard other serious or emerging health issues.

It’s called ‘first post syndrome’ - it’s a type of person who needs to be the first to stick the boot in. See it all the time on MN.

Congratulations on your weight loss! And I agree it’s pretty miserable of the nurse to not acknowledge how far you’ve already come. If it happens again you could push back a bit - ‘yes, I know I need to lose a bit more but I think I’ve done pretty well so far!’

Don’t let the grumpy guts get you down - you’re doing great!

@JohnTheRevelator absolutely well done! Good on you!
I've done the same as you, but slowly, over a 14 year period. And it's staying off. I'm in no way my ideal weight, but I can fit into much smaller clothes and I feel so much better.
I went for some blood tests lately, the male nurse asked if he could weigh me. I got on the scales and was absolutely chuffed to find that I'd stayed exactly the same weight as a year ago. I then said that I'd lost nearly 8st since 2012 and he looked at me a bit puzzled, like I wasn't being honest! He then checked on the computer and said, "oh, so you have, well done!".
I don't expect all health professionals to know my medical history obviously, but when you tell them your achievements, it would be nice to have an acknowledgement of your hard work, rather than them being dismissive. Especially when they're the ones who want you to eat healthy and lose weight!

Anyway, well done and keep going, you'll get there!

Nibsnbibim Oh tell me about it! The times in the past that I've gone to the doctor's about something completely unrelated to being overweight (e.g. migraines) and the issue that I've gone there for gets totally disregarded as they're too busy obsessing about my weight!

JustaDream Ha ha ha I'm certainly not new to Mumsnet! I've been on here for 13 years! But I know what you mean about some Mumsnetters making out that they are holier than thou!

I don't think the first comment was horrible. A bit abrupt, perhaps, but it's right insn't it? You still have some weight to lose and if you have osteoarthritis it is all the more important to lose it.

The medics aren't dismissing your weight loss. They are commenting on your current weight. Obviously you have done brilliantly well to lose such a large amount of weight, but that doesn't detract from the fact that, medically speaking, you have a bit more to lose.

I don't think there's anything particualrly rude in what was said, and the "sniffy tone" is a matter of opinion, and can always be found if you're looking for it.

It must be very difficult being a medic who knows that losing weight is the single most beneficial thing that can happen for a patient, but also knows that saying so can very often result in responses like this.

Facts are facts.

Nothing I said was rude.

🤷‍♀️

Of course an overweight person can suggest another overweight person loses weight.

After all, that over weight medic migyhave already lost 7 stone, and here you are saying they can't possibly say anything? What happened to their well done for losing weight?

Or is it just a fact that overweight people need to lose weight, regardless of how much more they weighed?

I'm not talking about person to person, I'm talking about professional to layman. There is a different code of conduct. If an overweight "professional" tells someone else they should lose weight, does that lay person really care what the professional says since they can't lead by example?

Naturally, the professional should have some courtesy and say, "well done," just as we all have but they are arrogant. Hence, the OP post.

If someone has osteoarthritis, then telling them to lose weight is in no way shape or form the only thing the medic should be doing. And if an individual has lost over 1/3 of their bodyweight there is no reason to think that losing the final stone or two will magically resolve it.

As per the NICE guidelines, they're talking there about losing 10% of your bodyweight, when the OP has already gone well beyond that. Clearly obesity is an issue with osteoarthritis but they should still certainly be eligible for additional treatments, particularly as it's likely to be easier to maintain the weight loss if they can increase their levels of activity. So while it may be relevant to suggest someone loses further weight, but that needs to be in the context of other, additional, treatments, and should absolutely be in the context of the patient's history.

@JohnTheRevelator I understand

And I'm very impressed with your weight loss

It is so disappointing. I have lost some weight but I am nervous of seeing the doctor again - about anything really - because in the past I've been lectured about it.

They did eventually accept it was related to my medication! I'm not saying this anymore, which is why I've been able to lose weight

But I've actually been lectured by an overweight nurse before. I wasn't in there for anything weight related either!

Anything on the NHS such a battle. I think these days they're actually asked to be hostile to you. It gets the numbers down. Honestly, I wonder that.

Why are people so twitchy about being asked about their weight? I think I am asked every time I go to see the nurse and I'm not overweight. Surely it's expected if you are overweight, like being asked about any other health conditions.

I think I'd always chip in with "fair play" if a patient said they'd lost 7 stone! Nothing wrong with the original question in the context of an orthopedic appointment, it's the response that matters.

If it makes you feel better OP a paramedic was struck off last month for this....

They need to rethink their bedside manner but although you have done really well, you obviously still need to lose some more weight (but you know that!).

Well, the doctor might be smoker themselves but they still should advise that people give up, just as a fat doctor should advise fat people should lose weight 🤷‍♀️

If I got caught speeding,I could still advise another person not to speed because of the consequences...

If someone is going to ignore sound medical advice just because the person telling them hasn't necessarily followed that, then they're stupid.