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Setting boundaries or cutting off

3 replies

Confusedaf85 · 17/05/2026 01:47

Hi

I need advice! I am from a big family, I am the youngest of 6 and my oldest sister is 60 and I am 40. She is so overbearing. Over the last couple of years, if I don’t respond to a WhatsApp message within a few hours she will send me another and she will check for read receipts and if she knows I have seen her messages but haven’t responded she will confront me in a bit of an aggressive manner and ask if everything is ok. In the last 3 years my life has become very busy, I have a 3 year old and a newborn. Sometimes I don’t have time to reply to her immediately. The last two weeks I haven’t spoken to her, in this time I have had 22 missed calls, 9 messages and she has sent baby a gift in the post. I didn’t know about this as I’ve been away on holiday. She has gone to the lengths of asking our siblings to tell me the postman has left the gift in my garden and that she has tried contacting me but I’m ignoring her! I have literally just got back from my holiday this evening to all these missed calls and texts plus messages from family. I feel so overwhelmed and claustrophobic. Why is she being so pushy. I just want space sometimes because I’m so busy with looking after my babies plus I work. I have tried hinting this to her but she’s not taking the hint! My family are very loud characters, I’m more reserved and laid back. But this behaviour is really making me angry and I feel like cutting off for good. Any advice please 😣

OP posts:
Ohdearnotthisagain · 17/05/2026 01:49

Is she like this with everyone?

Confusedaf85 · 17/05/2026 02:00

I wouldn’t say she’s this intense with anyone else no, but they are sll older than me and have more time for each other than I do for them. But just to add, she’s not really involved in my life in any other way…for instance she has met my 3 year old once and that was because we were at a family meal and she hasn’t met my baby yet who’s 6 months old. Yet her son lives 10 miles away from me, she’s been in the area several times but has never bothered to ask to see my children. However she gets this control freak behaviour over messaging me and being in contact over the phone?

OP posts:
BooneyBeautiful · 17/05/2026 03:47

Stop the hinting snd just explain to her that you can't always respond to her messages immediately, but will get back to her as soon as you can. Repeat if necessary.

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