Physical wedding presents and the joy they bring

[awfulapril]

So I really don't care whether someone gets cash or a wedding list for their wedding and I'm very aware that times have changed since I got married 30 years ago. The only thing I think maybe cash only people miss, unless they attribute a certain gift to a donor, is the joy all those years later(if you're still married of course) of looking at a lovely crystal water jug you would never buy now, or a clock, or a serving pot, or in my instance of gravy jug and thinking fondly of people.
Quite a lot of these presents were given by relatives who have died, and although that sounds a bit depressing it's lovely to think of them.
does anybody else have a wedding present that they still use a long time afterwards and brings them joy?

Our posh cutlery, my stand mixer, and some decorative items were all wedding gifts from family. Still all used or displayed umpteen years later. They’re very special.

My magic roast potato tray. It was a really good quality roasting tray 25 years ago- much nicer than I would have bought for myself. It is magic because it makes perfect roast potatoes whatever you put in it, even slightly ropey old spuds or where you forgot you were parboiling them and frankly should be making mash. Sadly both handles have come off but it's still the best tray (no offence to the other trays, your work is appreciated).

I agree with you OP.

I have a Royal Worcester cake plate and server that my aunt gave us. It' still makes my day every time I use it. I'm also still using the Kenwood mixer my husband's aunt and uncle gave us. It's an old clunker now but I still think of them every time I use it. (I wonder how many modern food mixers will still be making cakes in 2066?)

When I look at our wedding photos now well over half the people in them are no longer with us but those objects take me right back to that sunny day when we were all happy together.

Just to add, I suppose most brides and grooms have already lived together when they marry now and already have all the basic household stuff they need. I wonder what the modern equivalent of the toaster or set of pans is?

I’m quite happy to give people money or pick from pre chosen wedding registries if that’s what the couple wants but I agree, I think about my Grandmother when we get out our wedding china for special occasions, a cousin when we use certain wine glasses, my late great aunt when polishing a mirror.

Yes, married 16 years and I still remember who gave us our cafetière and our casserole dish and the ornate wooden pot holders that dh’s auntie brought us from NZ.

The difference being perhaps that I moved from abroad to marry Dh (long distance relationship). We only lived together for 3 months before we married. We had like one pot and 2 forks. 😂 We had a gift list and the stuff people bought us was stuff we truly needed because we had nothing. That’s why we still have it all.

If we didn’t need stuff and people bought us more stuff and it was just in the way, I wouldn’t feel the same about it and it would have ended up in a charity shop. We had one guest who bought us a hookah pipe. WTF?! The weirdest wedding present. Neither of us smokes and I’m asthmatic. 😂 It was given away pretty swiftly.

Oh, these are lovely stories thank you

I'm still using various household things my mum and dad were given as wedding presents over fifty years ago.

The only physical gifts I got when I was married were framed art work for the wall. They are up on display and very much appreciated.

I use a mixing bowl, a cake stand and a serving bowl that my parents got as wedding presents in the 1950s.

We put cutlery on ours thinking people could buy a few bits each so it wouldn’t be too expensive. My uncle bought the lot for us. We still use it every single day and it’s as good as the day it arrived. Love it.

And another relative bought our big orange Le creuset pot which we use loads.

But I also remember the massive round bellied stainless steel pot my dad got for me at university - I’d asked for a much cheaper one as a present and he thought “nah, I’ll get her this good one, it’ll last” and it’s still going strong 30 years later. I got him a really good set of new pans for his 60th and he told me the other day how he’s still v pleased with them 17 years later and thinks about how he loved that present.

I agree OP. We have an ice bucket who was gifted to us by an old family friend who loved a Gin & Tonic. I always raise a glass to him when we use it. We use a Seder plate every Passover - an engagement present from DH’s grandparents. It’s an ugly thing but I love getting it out every year. I have kept the gift tag in the box.

Married 23 years, and had no wedding list. In Ireland two or three weeks before the wedding people would call unannounced to your parents house and give you your wedding present. They would have drinks and food. Then you had a room in the house set up to show your gifts. I remember some of things thinking I will never use that! But I kept it all and three houses later I now have space for it all. Love the crystal vases that I hated in my 20’s. Think I only opened the last of the towels about 10 years after I married. Every Christmas I have think of a neighbour who bought me a huge ceramic casserole dish. (She is dead).

our le Creuset just gave up the ghost after 30 years and wasn't in the repair for life date

Someone once said to me if it's a wedding list of someone you don't know that well always buy them plates because nobody wants to buy plates cause they're boring
I'm so sick of our Denby wedding set and I'm starting to retire chipped ones even if they're only slightly chipped so we have to buy a new one

My Grandmother got married on Christmas Eve & was gifted a Christmas tree by some friends, any of her Grandchildren who got married (myself included) she let us pick a Balsham Hill Christmas Tree as a gift (they’re not cheap) I love mine, had it for several years now, she passed away 2 years ago & every time I’ve put it up since I’ve had a little chat to myself & pretended I’m talking to her

I do still like the physical items we got but apart from 1 all came from our wedding list.

We moved together 4 years prior to our wedding and got plenty of good quality items then so we didn‘t need to upgrade and most electrical goods were still perfectly working.

I would have had huge problems with things like multiple photoframes or personalised items or anything which had to be displayed. I hate dust catchers.

If you buy physical items get what the couple wants, not what you think is suitable.

One of my cousins bought us a bundle of superior quality hand drying cloths for the kitchen. I still smile at them (used constantly and still in pristine condition long after the supermarket ones we bought have worn through). It really is the thought not the thing! (But I think I could still tell you who gave us about half of the gifts we received despite a large (c180 people) wedding).

I still think of my work colleagues when I use our Le Creuset casserole dish my colleagues gave me when we got engaged - my first posh thing for the kitchen!

I agree OP. Whilst I completely understand why young people getting married now ask for money, I definitely think of the people who bought items that we’re still using 25 years later. Especially from family and friends of my parents who are no longer with us.
it also reminds me of a wedding I went to when I got chatting to another guest who turned out to be an old flame of the bride. He said that he had bought the electric blanket from the wedding list in the hope that she would think of him every time she went to bed!! Made me laugh!

I always think of whomever gifted us our wedding gifts when I use them. Still using my parents’ and grandparents’ wedding items too.
All that stuff that wasn’t your style when you were younger? That’s the stuff you’ll cherish the most, when the person who gave it is no longer here.

I totally agree @awfulapril. Married 26 years. Some of our original wedding bed linen has worn out, and the Denby is faded, but I still know who gave them to us. The champagne glasses that come out for celebrations, the whiskey glasses my godfather gave us because they reminded him of my dad, the Mouseman breadboard - all lovely memories of lovely people.