My mum always says what does dh think to that, as if is opinion is worth more than mine

[Whatdoyouthinktothis]

It's so annoying

I get she's male centered and thinks a womans job is to keep a man
What an awful expression

What I don't bet though is why she's like this and it's doing my head in

Although I've never heard anyone I know say that, to me it feels old fashioned, and I have a friend who thinks that way.
She is devout in ( their) religion, and I think she and her DH believe that the man is the head of the household and must be consulted before anything goes on.
I don't think she has much autonomy in anything, even things she makes and bakes is because he likes it, and she does it to please him.
Programmes are watched because he likes them too, or else they just don't get watched.
Since they retired, as a couple they're like Velcro, they stick together and do everything together.
It must be a stifling way to live.
She seems okay with it most times, but I do detect an occasional undercurrent of very slight resentment from her at times, and I've noticed it gives her more quiet husband an air of power that I couldn't live with myself.

“It’s 2026. My husband knows I am a fully functioning adult with at least the same capability to think and make decisions as him. It would be nice if you did as well.”

Mine too. Even when asking for advice in the field I actually work in and DH does not.

Depending on situation I either shrug and say that I have no idea what DH thinks, or actually pass on the information to DH and tell him that DM wants his opinion. It’s up to him if he chooses to respond, I try not to get too wound up by this anymore as I can’t change it.

You know your mum, and if it's really all about being male centred but I have a male friend who often has wacky ideas and I'll ask him "what does DW think about that?", not because her view is more important, but because if they're to work as a partnership it matters.

My DM does this, it’s a reflex response that is a hangover from her youth basically. When she married my DF she couldn’t be on the mortgage, couldn’t get a bank loan in her own name, female ‘breadwinners’ were incredibly unusual…
She’s too old to change her responses now so I mostly let it slide because I know her intention is to make conversation, not to undermine me

My DM does it too. I usually say he's unlikely to have an opinion on that. But it falls on deaf ears so I rant at him later when I get home!!

Yes i know its her hang ups
I suppose I've gotta try n let itwash over me

Be like water as Bruce Lee said

Haha

Yeah. No point being proactive or taking a stand. Just turn a blind eye.

Next time she says what does your DH think, say: "Why?" and when she keeps going on, say: "I don't understand what you are asking". Let her tie herself up in knots explaining her reasoning, and reply with a variety of: "But I still don't understand why you are asking", "What do you mean?", "Yes, but why is his opinion important?", "But why though" ad infinitum.

Act completely baffled as though you genuinely have no clue what she's on about.