Son and GCSEs

[Cathystiredghost]

Anyone else’s child completely resistant to ANY help at all with their revision? Im a teacher in an excellent faculty in a well performing school. Im trying to help my son revise for my subject and he is arguing the toss with me about everything I advise. He doesn’t go to my school and I have felt a long time that the teaching he ha received in my subject is very below par. I am so worried about how resistant and argumentative he is I could cry.
I've tried being nice and yelling but nope. Nothing except belligerence.
Anyone else with some empathy or advice?
I want to just let him FAFO but I just can’t let him cock it up

I had this last year, it was really hard and I still have flashbacks - especially this week.
I had to leave him to it (after endless arguments), he did fine, but nowhere near what he was capable of.

I think if your DS is doing enough to get to his next stage, then you have to leave him to it. If his next stage is in doubt, maybe someone else will have a better idea on how to get him to focus.

I do feel your pain.

Sympathies.

I have a maths degree, though not a teacher.

I successfully helped DD1 with 1-1 revision for all her GCSEs.

I ended up emptying a tutor for DD2 for her maths as she just would not let me help!

Most children don’t have a teacher parent to help. So he doesn’t need you in order to pass and if he’s arguing it means he doesn’t want your help. You can’t force him to let you teach him…. Let him do it his own way

Children usually are resistant to help from parents! It;s not personal. Mine just wants me to sit with him while he revises and to shut up and provide snacks. I think the best you can do is be there if he asks, but you just have to leave it to him.

Sympathies. It's hard as well when you just KNOW they can benefit from your expertise.

Some children have a hard line in the sand between education and family life. A parent 'teaching' them crosses that invisible boundary.

DD2 (in Y10 so GCSEs next year) has science and maths tuition weekly. She asked to add the science in September and has just gone up a set at school - meaning she's taking the higher paper and not the foundation.

I tutor English, as a job not a teacher but have a MA and work with kids out of school, usually ones who have a SEND. She has SENDs. Plural. Can I get her to study with me? sigh....

I had a parent teach at the school I went to and didn't want or ask for any help with revision. I think it's great your DS is so independent.

He's a teenager it doesn't matter wether you teach his subject or not some teenagers just don't want help or even find help helpful and during exam season is the wrong time to be trying to force help on him. Leave him to it and be a supportive mum (not teacher) by providing snacks, space and some relaxation opportunities.

My youngest is doing GCSEs ATM
I don't help with their revision outside of buying the revision guides and ensuring they have a workspace that is suitable, unless they specifically ask me to (eg I did a bit of questioning for the Spanish oral a few weeks back). I don't force revision but I do advise and discuss when and what. The way I see it, these are their exams to succeed or fail at, and they need to find their own motivation (or not). My brightest child dropped a grade on every A level last year because they didn't do enough work. It's it's own natural consequence! Now in first year at uni they have learned that they cannot coast and are scoring 70 % plus in all exams.

Exactly the same. I have got probably a 1000 kids through their GCSE’s and A levels over the years with top grades. My first born son would have none of it when I tried to help him.

(My second has a different temperament so he probably would be more open).

Anyway, I had to pay for tutors for DS1 as he was like a different motivated and engaged child with them. However, we are in the exam season right now, so time will tell if it pays off.

Thanks to everyone for the replies. It is helpful to know its not just my family!
in response to a poster’s comment, he isn’t independent though! He is bloody lazy!
I’m taking everyone’s advice and I’m going to leave him to it. Life is tough 🤷‍♀️

I’ve learned esp at this point you have to back off. The time to offer help has been and gone.

So glad it's not just me and my dc!