What has someone done or said in the workplace that you can't forget or forgive?

[Carlie97]

Mine was during the pandemic, a senior member of staff at director level, just one level down from the CEO (also a twat) put me on furlough with an absolute promise, and the promise were all her words, completely unprovoked by me, that I would have a job to come back to after furlough. I never made it back because I was made redundant. She knew at that time she said all that shite to me that I was being made redundant. I was made homeless during that same time due my landlord selling and ended up homeless for a bit. She also didn't bring in my secret santa gift and everyone went round in a circle opening their presents and showing what they had been gifted. I felt humiliated and left the office early that day. She did leave a bottle of prosecco on my desk a few days later but it wasn't gratefully received by me. The same woman also propositioned a much junior member of staff when she was under the influence of alcohol.

She also did payroll, which was always late without a doubt and on my last payday she'd paid me 20 odd quid when I was due much more. It took ages to sort out with her dragging her heels. They were later found out not to have paid staff pensions.

The being made redundant so unexpectedly knocked my self worth and mental health so much for years. I hope she and the bully ceo gets karma.

Also during Covid. Manager was off isolating as were others on the team. Me and two of her team (I wasn't in her team but was working at their site and worked closely with her team) were the only ones in.

One of them cornered me in the office and started having a go about something I'd said the previous Week that I hadn't even realised she had felt targeted by (it was about speaking to her manager about her bad back, not me).

She and the other team member, both women older than me, kept me in the office scolding me (she called the other one in), having a go, berating me, for about an hour. I missed two online meetings.

I am not someone who does well with confrontations and was supposed to be in the office for the meetings so I felt I had nowhere to go (and felt trapped I couldn't leave). I tried to tell them I had meetings but they wouldn't stop.

I had to work with them after that for several years but I can't forget the incident. Both because of their words and actions to me but also because I wasn't strong enough to get them to stop.

That I would not get a payrise (having not had one for 7 years) because they could get someone equally as good as me for less!

Senior colleague I was working under... insisted on micromanaging me to an extreme extent. I wasn't allowed to send out an email without her checking it first. Couldn't arrange a meeting without running it past her, had meeting notes checked and reviewed for accuracy - but changed if she didn't like them so they were no longer accurate. I was not allowed to take the initiative on anything or to do anything at all without specific instructions. Then I worked with her on arranging a conference. It went well. There was to have been some follow up work but I received no instruction as to what she wanted me to do and, by that stage, I was so cowed I didn't dare to do anything without being ordered to do it. Bear in mind that in my previous job I had been arranging national professional meetings/conferences by myself very competently.... I was suddenly called in to the big boss's office and told that I was being disciplined for, basically, not doing my job. I had 2 weeks to gather evidence and prepare my case before a disciplinary meeting. I told them that I had not been allowed to do anything on my own initiative, I was not allowed to think for myself, and I was able to produce a timeline and numerous pieces of evidence to prove that, and there was no evidence at all that I had been asked (ordered) to do anything further. I was not disciplined - I think senior colleague received a talking to - and I no longer had to work with her. Years later, when I was well known for being an extremely competent and reliable person who could be left to get on with my job, I was asked to work with her on a project. I refused. There was no come-back.

Academia - I once spent considerable time writing an assessment policy. I was staggered to read a colleague's bid for promotion, taking credit for the assessment policy.

I worked in a terrible toxic environment once, in a European office. We had a new manager join who was also British and he was actually very nice but didn’t speak the local language. On his birthday as was custom we went down to the canteen for a coffee break with cake and I said Happy Birthday Tom (not his real name), in English and he jokingly says back thanks, where is my present? I laugh as that was typical banter.
Until one of the other local men said ‘she’s the present’

Disgusting, macho comment. I was 25 and this man was in his 50s

An absolute a-hole of a buyer told me I got the job because of my breast size, it was an admin / reception position.

I was around 18 at the time and it was just a horrible thing to say he was a sleazy sleazebag.

Worked my way up but never accepted any roles that involved working directly with the buyers.