Believe me! Has it effected you?

[SuitcaseAndSecrets]

Didn't know if to put this under telly addicts..
But here it is.
Watching Believe Me brought so much back for me. People ask if programmes like this affect those who watch them — yes, they do. Especially survivors.
I was gang raped and drugged in 1986 when I was 28 years old. What hurt almost as much as the attack itself was how I was treated afterwards.
The police asked me: Was I wearing a short skirt? Had I been drinking? Was I wearing red lipstick? Did I have stockings or tights on?
Instead of treating me like a victim, I was made to feel responsible for what happened to me.
Programmes like this matter because they show what so many women went through — not just the assault, but the blame, disbelief and humiliation afterwards.
No woman should ever be made to feel that what she wore, drank, or looked like caused violence against her.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Just awful.

I’m watching it today and am absolutely shocked by what I see.
I am so sorry to hear you’ve been through an experience like this.
Whilst watching the episodes, I’m saying ‘ I believe you’ to the women on screen.
It’s shocking, heart breaking and infuriating!

I binge watched it the other day, thought it was very good but not an easy watch. Fucking men 😡

I couldn't watch this once I knew what it was about.

I was also gang raped when I was 20. My attackers told me that no-one would believe me, it would be word against word, they would say it was consensual.

I had been at a party where, as a single 20 year old who loved having fun, I was wearing a short dress, and was drinking (not DRUNK) and enjoying myself.

They told me that loads of people had seen me acting like a slut, flirting, drinking and dancing on the bar. That by acting the way I had been that night that I was asking for it and everyone could see and loads of people were witnesses to 'the kind of person I was'.

Bear in mind that I was NOT that type of girl. I didn't sleep around and or have ONS (not that there is anything wrong with that) But I did love to drink and dance and be flirty. To me, I was just being a normal 20 year old girl on a night out.

But it was enough to shame me into thinking that somehow I had been responsible for what happened to me that night. That by drawing attention to myself I had made myself a target for rape.

I never reported it and as a result I had to quit a job I loved (one of my attackers was a colleague in a more senior position)

For years I felt that I had been to blame and felt so ashamed of myself.

It took a very long time to heal from and get back to being a strong confident woman.