What made you feel overlooked as a middle child (or not)?

[Ovulationstation]

Currently pregnant with baby number three, and I am conscious of all the stereotypes around middle children being forgotten. For those of you that are middle children yourselves, what did your parents do that made you feel valued or seen? Or what do you wish they had done differently?

Someone made a comment suggesting my son will have middle child syndrome (he’s only eight months), but I want to do everything in my power to try and not let him feel that way.

I have boy girl boy, so my middle is unique, and the boys have a big enough age gap (6 years) so they can’t get lumped together / assumes to be interested in the same things. Who know though as they are still little but we work hard to constantly consider them as individuals.

More photos of the others in the house. Very rare one to one time. Birthday always inexplicably not a big deal (last minute presents etc). On the other hand, I am the best one 😉 😁

@TheLargeOnesaww I have no doubt you are. Sorry you felt that way. How is your relationship with your siblings now? X

@Tryingtohelp12sounds like you’re doing a fab job!

I’m not a middle - but my mum was which is why she only had two. Her big issue was that she never got anything new - she was the second girl so everything she had was a hand me down whilst her elder sister and younger brother always got brand new. It only stopped when my mum overtook my aunt in height - my aunt ended up at 5ft2 whilst my mum stopped at a leggy 5ft9 in the days of the miniskirt!

The other one was when they all made Xmas cakes in cookery at school (probably doesn’t happen now) they kept her sister’s as it was the best decorated, and her brother’s because he was the youngest, so hers always went to her grandparents.

I'm one of three, DH is one of three and I have three. Treat your children as individuals - they all have their own unique abilities and needs. Make sure each of them gets the chance to pursue their passions.

I felt that my family found me boring. My elder sister did everything first and was by far the most impressive academically, sporting prowess etc. My little sister was very adorable and charming and I just felt lost in the mix. 3 of the same sex can be tricky I think.

My husband was a middle child. He didn't like missing out on "big" gifts- his sibs got bicycles for example, and he did not.

Also his parents each had a favourite child and he was no one's favourite.

Even in adulthood - one year one of his siblings got an expensive present at Christmas, while he got a plant (shared with me) and a pair of socks.

I have two siblings either side, one of each sex, so I literally couldn’t be more of a middle child if I tried 😂 honestly though I’ve never really felt hard done by at all for being the middle. Like sure, I never really got anything new but we were farm kids raised by a mum abandoned by my dad so I mean, none of us got anything new 😂 I loved having loads of siblings and my mum loved us all and appreciated all of us for the individuals we were and are. She didn’t play favourites, she treated birthdays and presents and whatever all as equally as possible etc. Arguably I’m probably the closest to my mum now really.

Nothing. I am middle child of five. Always my dads favourite.

I'm a middle, I always knew older and younger were parents favourites. I was just the quiet middle one that all adults forgot about, when visiting relatives parents almost drove home without me serval times.

The eldest was the brainy one, the youngest the baby, I was the dyslectic (thick) one.

At Christmas we would each have a pile of presents, one year I had the biggest pile the others complained, dad said that year after year he had noticed mine would be considerably smaller.

That made me feel really sad and embarrassed, because it was easier to deal with when no one noticed apart from me.

I’m middle. My mother favoured my brother because she was desperate to have a boy. And my father favoured me. So in our instance it was the eldest who got the pointy end of the stick. I didn’t feel treated any differently because I was in the middle, but I was treated differently for other reasons

I never felt overlooked.

Our dps made it very clear there were no favourites. Privileges were by birth order eg eldest went to bed at 8.30, middle 8.00, youngest 7.30, etc which felt very fair, pocket money was related to age and we got a raise on our birthdays.

We were actively discouraged from competing, encouraged to do our best and celebrated for it. There was no comparing. We still competed and compared because dc always will. We were encouraged to be proud of each others achievements and, on birthdays only the birthday child got gifts. I actually think my dm was very wise about this - we were jealous, but we knew our day would come too.

I’m a middle. Never felt overlooked. We each had things we did or were good at and my parents were proud but not pushy. Day trips and UK family holidays are my biggest childhood memories. My parents having time for us. So walking on the beach picking shells with my mum or building sandcastles with my dad. Picnics. Second hand bookshops and us all reading what we chose. Museums. The local theatre. Board games. Cutting things out of the Argos catalogue and sticking at the kitchen table. Baking with my mum. Gardening with my dad. Nothing expensive or particularly child centered but having time when they weren’t working.

I'm a middle child and never felt like I had middle child syndrome. I actually think it can be quite nice to be the middle child as parents are often strictest with the eldest and baby the youngest but the middle child has a bit more balance. I have close relationships with both of my siblings and am so glad to have them.

A lot of the same themes seem to be coming up around being the “easy” child, getting less 1 on 1 attention, or just quietly slipping through the cracks a bit. It’s good to get an adults perspective of growing up as a middle child (I am an only, but that’s for another post).

Also lovely to read from those who enjoyed it and have amazing relationships with their siblings. Really appreciate everyone sharing such personal experiences.

I’m a middle. Eldest got all the firsts and it felt as though they were stricter with him, youngest was babied, I recall being more independent than both of them and often operated under the radar. There were different shades of favourite. I was my dad’s I think, my mum favoured my younger sister but older brother was definitely a little prince for both. I was jealous of the quality time and fuss the youngest got, she was in turn jealous of the freedom she perceived me as having. All horses for courses really. I don’t think this is a game you can win OP - just try your best to be consistent and fair in how you treat all your children!

@registaDefo, and I know no parent is perfect and gets it all right. I think I probably overthink parenting because I didn’t have the best childhood myself, so I’m very conscious of trying to make all my children feel equally loved 😊

Im middle of three girls. Nothing. I never felt overlooked or ignored or an afterthought. My parents listened to me and cared about me and did as much for me as my siblings.