Sorry, it’s a long one!
We live rurally and don't have a 'local' school. Our catchment school, school A, is a 7-minute drive away and then a 10-minute walk as you can't park near the school. We didn't feel this school was a good fit for our eldest and the idea of parking in a busy town really put us off. We can't walk as it is several miles down an A road with no pavements.
We are close and in catchment to a great secondary so wouldn't move even if it were financially viable.
The second school, School B, is a 5-minute drive away with easy parking outside of the school (miles wise it is technically fractionally further but the road is just a B road as opposed to going through a town). We liked this school but it is tiny (60 in the whole school) and worried about friendships. It is also in another county which made us less likely to get in. We have a preschooler to consider. They do have spaces for both older children.
We chose a third school, school C, in another village a 15-minute drive away but with easy parking outside of the school. Generally, we have been satisfied with the school for our two older children (year 1 and year 3). The children don't have any fixed friendships but play with everyone as they are very sociable. They like their teachers and enjoy learning.
The school doesn’t, however, have any provision for pastoral support and there are some major issues with behaviour that they can’t seem to get on top of. My eldest has been physically hurt a few times and the teachers can be quite dismissive. I think parents are reluctant to do play dates etc. because of the drive and we do feel very on the outside of things. There is no after school club. There have been lots of major changes, including all staff, since we chose the school (joined an academy) which means it doesn’t really feel like the school we chose.
Due to housing developments, road closures etc this drive is now taking 25-40 minutes each way. We work from home or commute by train so school is out of the way. We drive through several high collision areas. We tried to combat traffic by doing breakfast club. It helped initially but has got much worse again.
We have lost all except one local relatives in the last 3 years (most died, one emigrated) which has taken a toll on all of us and left us with no support network. I now have a chronic illness that causes fatigue, amongst other unpleasant symptoms.
On top of this my mum has just been given months to live and at some point I will become her carer. She lives 30 minutes from us, in the opposite direction to school and has lots of hospital appointments 1.5 hours away which I sometimes take her to.
The current school has no after school club, whereas school B does, as well as a breakfast club that starts earlier. School B also has a nurture club and pastoral care which may be needed in the coming months.
I currently do 8 out of the 10 school runs. My husband will struggle to do more pickups and drop offs currently as he works full time (I work part time). He can make up time in the evenings or weekends but will also need to care for our preschooler on the days he isn't in nursery if I'm helping my mum.
On the one hand I feel awful and guilty for considering moving settled children. On the other hand, we couldn't have foreseen life changing so much in just 3 years. What would you do? Please be kind, it's a lot.