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Year 1 child not wanting to go to school - any strategies?

9 replies

mummaneedsarest · 11/05/2026 11:29

My DS, Year 1, summer born says he hates school. He is on the verge of refusing to go. He is not walking through the school gate by himself and the only way I can get him in is to take him to the classroom myself. At the door each morning he clings to me and says he doesn’t want to go. It’s like nursery all over again and tough. Even when I try tough love, removing him from me saying a quick bye and walking away he will run after me and the situation gets worse. The TA always has to come over with some special task for him and even this doesn’t always work. Eventually he goes in after she thinks of something new, and he looks very sad.

The reason he hates school seems to just be the amount of effort required. He said there were so many different things he’s expected to do! Phonics, maths, science, history, PE etc. he is energetic and would just love to play all day. He’s also mentioned Thor phonics assessment tests - which the school work hard to make very relaxed 1-1 with the teacher, but in his mind there is pressure. The school do operate more of a continuous provision set up where they are not sat at desks all day, but still he is feeling the pressure.

Anyone experienced this in year 1 with not wanting to go in, and does anyone have any little strategies which helped? Also very interested to hear about other summer born boys.

OP posts:
Friendlygingercat · 11/05/2026 11:35

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Aabbcc1235 · 11/05/2026 11:49

My son has experienced this on-and-off during the course of school - it was worst in year 2.

The biggest thing which helped for us was beginning his day in a “soft start” provision. This allows them 5/10 mins of free play / crafts / Lego etc before they go to class so it’s worth asking if school have something like that. Other children have benefited from going in through the office with the ta or starting 5 minutes early / 5 minutes late to escape the morning rush.

We also saw an improvement when ds had more support in place in school, so it’s worth asking whether there are areas he’s struggling with and checking what support he has.

As a heads up, from the children who were like this in year 1, most now (yr 4) have a diagnosis of additional needs. So it’s worth keeping an open mind that there might be some sort of underlying dyslexia/autism/adhd/learning difficulties there.

Obviously don’t hit your child in the school playground unless you want a social services investigation 🙄

MummyJ36 · 11/05/2026 11:53

Ah OP that’s hard. Have you spoken to the school? If not I’d ask for a proper sit down meeting the teacher (without DS) to discuss it all and ask if there is any additional support available. Your DS won’t have been the first child to struggle with this and there should be some strategies and gentle encouragement the school can use to help you transition.

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MummyJ36 · 11/05/2026 11:54

Sorry I meant to help him transition.

mummaneedsarest · 11/05/2026 12:07

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Should I report you? Why the F are you on a patching forum, you monster?

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Tillow4ever · 11/05/2026 12:11

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Really fucking helpful. NOT.

Tillow4ever · 11/05/2026 12:12

OP I’d definitely talk to his teacher - they will have encountered it before so likely have ideas to try! It can’t be easy though, I don’t envy you this.

HasDepth · 11/05/2026 13:28

Strangers on the forums cannot give any advice, only experience. Is home educating him a thought for you or a total No

mummaneedsarest · 11/05/2026 15:35

@HasDeptha total no. I do not believe home educating would support a child to develop as a healthy adult given that he is sociable, bright etc.

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