Rant about other nan having GS /timing

[LostTooManyScrews]

Just a rant really. Party my own fault .
I'm looking after my grandchildren. Whilst my DD is on holiday. The 3 year old has special needs hes non verbal doesn't have any understanding. Plus I'm looking after other children as well.

I'm getting new sofas in a couple of days and I needed to put new flooring down. On my own. Which meant completely emptying the room. Removing old flooring.

My DD whos almost 16 offered to look after GS at adult DD house. She's looked after him before and checked with adult DD she said it was fine. That was last night. And luckily my other DS came over and he helped me. Which im so grateful for as I'm not very strong I can barely lift the flooring. And I tire easy and it can take me a few days to get over it.

So the 16 year old was looking after GS over night. At midnight I get a message from adult DD saying GS other nan wants to pick him up from my house at 10am. Because she has family over who have not met GS yet. I asked adult DD can't she pick him up from your house since DD16 has GS there. No because his other nan gets funny with the almost 16 year old looking after him. So this meant Dd16 having to get him back to my house early.

Anyway I'm thinking whilst other Nan has him i can take the flooring up in my hallway and lay the new flooring in the hall. When he was picked up I asked what time would she be dropping him off. Tells me around 4pm.

I then get a message telling me other nan is on her way back. It was only 2.30pm. And apparently it was because her relatives are leaving today and they need to get to the airport. Other ban doesn't drive so she wasn't taking them possibly travelling with them to say good bye.. but she would have known this before telling me it was going to drop him of at 4pm.

As i said just a rant just pissed me off because its stopped me doing what I needed to do.

Sorry the post os is not written well. Can't really see the letters very well. Plus juggling. Plus writing as in came to me.

Anyway rant over

I’d have told her I wouldn’t be in at 2.30.

Hope having a rant as made you feel better that sounds so stressful. You've definitely earnt a glass of wine or a nice cup of a tea. Just keep thinking it will be worth it in the end when you get your lovely new sofa x

Your daughter is taking the piss. They should be telling the other Nan that she can collect from her house if that’s where the kid is not expecting you to lie whilst doing all the donkey work.

I wouldn’t be doing major jobs in the house if I was looking after children.

DD is on holiday othet nan is fumny about DD16 looking after GS and she had a go at DD before. So thats why she wanted gs picked up from my house.

Thats why dd16 was looking after GS so I could get things done. Then other nan was having him because she asked to. So that was going to give me more time until othrer nan decided to drop GS back early.

I mean I’d just get someone in to do the flooring if you can’t manage it - and I certainly wouldn’t attempt it with kids and then relying on the other Nan etc - recipe for disaster

are you able to delay delivery of the sofas and get someone in to help? Surely this would be a lot less stressful.

Just want to say you are a really kind nan going above and beyond for your daughter and GS - and keeping good relationship with the other nan too. You've had a rough day but you can hold your head up thinking youve helped them all today. Next time think of yourself too!

Yeah, but as she’s old enough to be a parent then she should be old enough to deal with it.

I don't have money to pay for things like fitting.

I wasnt relying on her as such. Its the fact she asked to have him so it was a bonus and would hsve allowed me to get some stuff done. I wasnt expecting her to bring him back early.

And it just pissed me of she made the assumption that I was in. And that I wasn't doing anything.

Is your DD 15 or 16? Because you said at one point almost 16. I really don’t think a 15 year old should be looking after a 3 year old non-verbal child with special needs on her own in a house overnight.

You shouldn’t have arranged for the new sofas whilst you were planning on having your GS with you if you weren’t able to get the jobs done without palming him off on his aunt who is only a child herself. And presumably doing her GCSE’s right now. Or if the sofas were already planned, you should have said no to your DD.

The other Nan did nothing wrong, and I don’t blame her for thinking a 15 year old shouldn’t be looking after him overnight. You should be thanking her for taking him out of the way for a few hours.

Exactly.

She's 16 in a few weeks. Shes fine with him. Yes hes non verbal that doesn't make any harder to look after than any other toddler. And in his own home its actually easier.

The other nan bringing him back earlier than she had said. Made the assumption i was hone and that I wasn't busy. Shes the one that chose the original time not me.

Sounds like you all just want to vilify the other nan tbh. She’s questioned a 15 year old being left in charge of her little grandson while his mother is off on holiday and then came back an hour earlier than planned.

I don’t think a 15/16 year old should be left alone overnight with any toddler. A 3 year old is a preschooler, which would ordinarily be slightly easier than a toddler because they can communicate better - but that’s not the case here. You also described him as having special needs. That’s a lot for an adult to deal with, never mind a kid! Whilst there is no legal age limit for being left home alone, the NSPCC guidelines state that a child under 16 should not be left alone overnight. You not only have left a 15 year old alone overnight, you’ve also left her caring for a 3 year old. Why did she need to stay overnight? Why couldn’t she have come home and he have gone to bed? Ultimately, if anything were to have happened to either of them, you and your daughter risked being arrested and charged because they shouldn’t have been left alone. I also said about her doing GCSE’s. She should be studying and getting decent nights sleep for those, not babysitting because you don’t want to do it.

The other Nan coming back early shouldn’t be a problem because YOU had agreed to look after your grandson whilst your daughter was away. Therefore in her eyes, you would have had him at home the whole time anyway, so shouldn’t have made a difference that she brought him back an hour and a half earlier than she originally estimated. If you had been planning to go out, you’d have told her that.

You want the kudos for looking after your grandson for your daughter, but don’t actually want to look after him from the sounds of it. Because everyone but you seems to actually be having him! Next time you need to tell her no. Good on the other Nan wanting to watch out for your daughter and Grandson, because you don’t seem to want to.

I really can't be arsed to unpick the assumptions. And give a proper reply it's absolutely pointless. But you are entitled to an opinion. Based on what I know about my GS and my DD . I do not agree. I know his needs I know DD you do not. But as I say you're allowed an opinion.

As I said it was a rant. The moment has now gone its the following day. Its done.

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