AIBU to think neighbours should have warned me about their dog?

[CaraMP01]

My cat has been killed by a neighbour's dog in their garden. We are a row of 11 houses and the cat roames, helping to keep the rodent population down and generally being sweet and lovely. They've had the dog for 2 months..it's a lurcher and has a high prey drive. They are infirm and fairly elderly. The dog needs massive amounts of exercise and although it has a sizeable garden ( 50ft ) I think they struggle to exercise it sufficiently. AIBU for thinking that they ought to have warned me, and I could have made an informed decision about letting her out, and getting such a dog, knowing that there are lovely neighbourhood cats around that may be seen as prey?.. i am very upset..

Or they could have knocked on doors, or taken the poor thing to the vet to be scanned for a chip.

I found a deceased cat out of the back of our house last year and didn't recognise it or have a clue who it belonged to. It wasn't chipped so I posted on Facebook and eventually someone recognised the description and contacted me.

I'm very sorry to hear about your cat 🌷

However, you've known they had the dog for 2 months, it's unusual for a cat not to have learnt not to go in their garden.

Why did you say they should have warned you? Your cat was fine for 2 months & you chose not to change your behaviour? (Keeping her indoors or a catio).

I'm really sorry to hear about your cat. The loss of a much loved pet is always incredibly hard.

To give a perspective from the other side of this, and with no wish to be unkind, my neighbour's cat kills the garden birds (we have stopped feeding them to try not to encourage them into the garden as a result) and craps on our driveway. I don't complain to them because it's a cat and that's what cats do, and I quite like cats generally, but it is a nuisance and I don't view it as a lovely, friendly, rodent destroying superhero. It's just a bit of an irritation if I'm honest, especially when I'm scrubbing cat shit off DS' shoes again. Our dogs chase it when it comes into our garden. I sincerely hope they don't catch it, and I would be extremely upset if they did, but they are also more entitled than said cat to be in our garden, and it's a risk our neighbours take by allowing the cat to roam freely. I also can't stop the cat from coming onto our property where the dogs are. I would be apologetic and sad for my neighbours' loss, but very surprised to be blamed for it if something untoward did happen. I don't think this is your neighbours' fault, OP, although I understand the need to feel angry with someone when you're grieving and it feels unfair.

I dogsit a few times a week. No way am I going to muzzle that dog in my own garden every time it goes out, just in case some other person's cat happens to be crapping in the flower bed.

Have you tried spending time with your dogs on your driveway. If their scent is there, the cat might stop crapping on it?!

Our dear departed lurcher was terrified of cats, not typical I know. We are thinking of getting another (yes, we're oldies as well, but fit and active, well able to exercise dog) and have been thinking of next door's cat who is often in our garden. I'd hate for anything to happen, but whats the solution?

I'm sorry about your cat OP, must be devastating.

Some people have dogs.
These people can’t tell every single person that they own a dog, it’s just not feasible.

As a cat owner, it is up to you to take the risk to let your cat out in which it may get attacked by a dog, other cats, people or hit by a car.

If you don’t want to take that risk then you get a catio.

My cat needed to roam and I felt unfair to keep him in a catio.
He was hit by a car and I was gutted but I didn’t blame the driver.
I do blame myself as I should have gone looking for him after he didn’t come home on time but it likely wouldn’t have changed the result.

I’m very sorry for your loss 💐
Trying to blame someone is a part of grief but this was not your neighbours or their dogs fault, it was just bad luck.

Sorry for the loss of your cat, OP 💐 It must be dreadfully upsetting for you. I hope you’re ok.

It must have come as a huge shock, but I don’t think the neighbours should have warned you unless there were additional circumstances eg their garden was the only route out for your cat. There will be other dogs like this near you that you don’t know about, and cats can roam for miles. Most cats walk along fences for that reason - to avoid any dogs.

However, they should have checked their garden before letting their dog out. I always do and I wait if I see a cat walking along our back fence. If there’s a cat sitting on our fence, I go out and shoo it away before I let our dog out. Perhaps they did check and it was all ok, but your cat entered just as their dog was going into the garden?

A horrible accident x

My comment was on the cat's behavior, not the dog's. What Inrhinkmofvyhe dog's behaviour is irrelevant.

Not sure why but birds are of no interest to my lurcher. Squirrels on the other hand! We get a lot of squirrels but fortunately they are much smarter than my dog is fast and he’s never come close. It’s like watching Wile E Coyote trying to catch the road runner.

I think the answer would be (if you get a dog) to be to tell the neighbours as soon as you decide to (so they can build a catio if they want to) then keep your dog on a lead in the garden for a little while until you're sure the cat knows it lives there. Then trust the cat to know it needs to stay out of your garden from now on if it doesn't want to play chase with your dog.

I do hope you decide to rescue one 💕

IME if the cat gets a few scares from the dog they learn to stay away. I would take your dog out on a long lead and let him have a good old bark at the cat to give it a fright. A sensible cat will know to stay away.

I don’t have pets but grew up with a dog and a cat. Have things changed in the last twenty years? It was always very normal to allow cats to roam but now seems frowned upon?

im sorry but that’s the risk of letting your cat roam.

Keeping the rodent population and wild bird populations down. You haven't said that the dog escaped their garden, so if you let your cat out that's the risk you take. Along with traffic etc.. They probably feel horrendous about what has happened too.

The dog’s behaviour is the topic of this thread.

It is normal outside of social media and MN.

I’m sorry OP but I’m not sure what warning you expect. You knew they had the dog, they’ve had it for 2 months, do you expect them to tell you every single time they are going to let their dog into their garden?

I look after my friends dogs at their house (it's just easier!) the squirrels got used to their first one & would taunt him🤣. They had to up their game when they got their second one who is much much more interested in them & a LOT faster & more agile 🤣 squirrels are looking much fitter now.

both dogs were kept in line by their very old, very frail, very tiny cat. She's since died (at 21) & I never see any visiting cats in their gsrden. The older one would probably just want to be friends, but the youngest, I'm not sure...

Cats also have a higher prey drive... Did you warn your neighbours that your cat was roaming and might be a risk to their small pets? If not you can see why your neighbours didn't warn you - presumably you were aware they had a dog and possibly also what breed it was if you had ever seen the dog, so the risk should have been equally foreseeable to you as to them.

Sorry if that's harsh. I do know how awful the unexpected death of a pet is - one of my cats was run over by a car. But at the same time I don't think you can place an obligation on others to warn you of all risks.

I am sorry you lost your pet, but I don’t think the neighbours had an obligation to inform you. A lot of people have dogs, so it’s a known risk if you let your cat roam. Dogs have always chased cats, and dogs are perfectly entitled to be in their own secure gardens.

This bit of your post is unreasonable, though. The fact you had a cat doesn’t mean the neighbours should not have got the dog they wanted.

and getting such a dog, knowing that there are lovely neighbourhood cats around that may be seen as prey?

Sorry for your loss OP.

Unfortunately your cat wasn't "a lovely neighbourhood cat", it was your cat who went into their garden.

Did you only discover the existence of the dog when this happened? Or where you aware of the dog beforehand? If your neighbour has tons you in advance what would you have done to stop your cat roaming into their garden?

You should have kept your cat in your garden.

They’ve had the dog for two months. They probably had no idea it would have chased and killed a cat, and are probably upset.

Dear God, the sheer entitlement of the cat owner! I'll supposed to go through all this rigmarole to train someone else's cat not to come in my garden!

And an earler poster would have me checking the garden and shooing cats away before letting the dog out for a wee.

Build a catio! Or, better still, Don't Buy A Cat!