Should teacher gifts be from the whole class or contributors only?

[SurreyisSunny]

I’m currently class rep for my DS’s year 1 class. Part of the rep job description (yes we really do have one) is arranging teacher gifts. This involves arranging a collection, finding out what the teachers want and buying the gifts. 40% of the total pot we have to transfer to an account for the support staff who get vouchers.

Im ok with this but for the Christmas gifts only about half the parents (so 14 plus myself) contributed but the gifts came from the whole class. I even arranged a personalised card with all their names on.

For end of year collection I’d prefer to just sign the card and have the gift from those who contributed. I’m concious that some have less money but only I see how much is contributed (for context at Christmas most gave £10-20). Also some may prefer to give their own gifts. We do have 2 TA parents who work at the school in the class.

Am I ok to just gift from those who’ve contributed? Interested in what others do

This.

Ours is £10 and gets split between multiple staff so not just the class teacher. Class TAs, office staff and Head all get something too. E.g Head might get a bottle of wine and box of chocs. So it’s not like the teacher gets hundreds of pounds. And not everyone contributes. Some do their own thing and others do nothing. I couldn’t cover all those for a tenner so I think that’s pretty good. I’m grateful that someone else is happy to sort it out too. All the staff work really hard and go above and beyond so I want to give them a small gift for looking after my child so well. It’s fine if others think teachers shouldn’t have gifts, they don’t need to contribute. I just like to give something. The staff definitely don’t expect gifts, but they’re always very much appreciated.

My Dd2' English teacher is sick for the next month.
25 pupils' families have paid £4 for flowers, card and a basket for her. £100 for one teacher. Just saying.I find it ridiculous but as it's first year of secondary school no parents wants to look petty. It's signed with class name only no pupils' names but all families have paid as bank collection and expense vouchers are submitted.

Gifts aren’t really a thing in secondary by us. Just primary.

I can see why you'd feel that way OP but I think it's better just to say it's from all the kids in year one or whatever. If less than half contribute then maybe it could just be from them but if it's only a few who DONT then it would be petty to name everyone else. I'm sure the teachers know not everyone would have contributed and won't care.

Ask yourself why you are doing this collection and present. That might guide you.

I’m a teacher, the absolute last thing I want is parents excluding children or their grown ups from any present or card giving. And to be honest, I would think less of a parent who did that.

I never contributed to class presents for my own children’s teachers because I wanted my child to choose and hand over their own present that they have thought about.

You do realise that teachers should NOT be soliciting gifts? That means that you cannot give a gift of the teacher's choosing. The only time a collection might be justified is when the teacher is leaving, or getting married. Goodness knows why parents are choosing a class rep. There should be a Parent Governor but no other role.

At my girls school, it was only the names of the children, whose parents contributed, that were added to the group card.

Once, I had a parent note another one giving me a gift one Christmas at morning drop off.

That family weren't from the UK and the dad looked surprised and embarrassed when he saw; it wasn't something he'd anticipated.

They had massive financial and housing issues at the time. All in one room and had been housed in a different city temporarily, but still got their kids to school on time and in uniform every day. They were bloody brilliant people.

Anyway, at home time dad appeared with gift bags and flowers and apologies for his lack of awareness of this tradition. I was absolutely fucking mortified, though obviously only offered sincere thanks. I actually cried that night, because I knew exactly how little cash they had and how far that could have gone for them over the holidays. I have had many, many children in similar situations over the years. I would be devastated to find out families had felt/been excluded.

I am so glad that my school doesn't really do teacher gifts (that was one of the worst bits. It's not even typical for us. It was an unusual situation with a different parent to our usual demographic he'd spotted). I'd feel atrocious knowing people had gone without to give me a gift and even worse for the ones who saw and felt bad they didn't. I'd feel worse about anyone who actively arranged to create this situation.

Include everyone on the card or don't do it at all.

I think there’s a number of very different scenarios going on here.

1. Of course no one would want a child already living in very difficult circumstances to feel they have to contribute and be left out because of it.
2. Some like to choose their own gifts/do their own thing so don’t want to be included.
3. Those who can easily afford it thinking it’s ok for others to pay for them. Or not being organised enough.
4. Those who don’t agree with gift giving so do not wish to be included.

And probably a whole lot more. What I do think is weird though is a teacher saying what they’d like. I’ve never come across that and do find it very odd.

I wouldn’t bill this as a ‘class gift’. I’d just tell parents you’re taking a collection for those who want to contribute and then put their names on a card - so it’s a group within the class. Make sure you are clear it’s not obligatory and parents do not need to contribute.

This is tricky but in my experience the people who don’t contribute buy their own gift for the teacher.

I would just sign the card from the kids whose parents contributed.

We do it from everybody and don’t write names on the card just from X Class.
You can put in how much you want according to your personal budget and it gets split between the teacher and TA and they normally get vouchers. Only the person doing the collection finds out who did or didn’t contribute and how much and it’s ideal.

You sound absolutely lovely. I used to find the present giving at my DD’s school really over the top. The tea for two at the Ritz the first year then over £200 in vouchers the second so we always made something instead ( like biscuits in a pretty jar or tin ). We would also fill in a little printable form in the early years about what my DD liked about her teacher. However one year I read on here a teacher say that she binned any homemade foods and if you went around the school on the last day of term the bins were full of unwanted presents . I have never forgotten that post. My sister is a teacher in a more disadvantaged area and she sometimes gets a box of maltesers or once a jar of someone’s honey ( and she wouldn’t dream of binning it ) but the whole thing has made me extremely cautious.

This is kind of how I feel. The school is in an affluent area too

i see people giving their own gifts at the end of term which is absolutely fine so they may not want to contribute to the larger class gift

Yes this. I see lots of kids heading in with gift bags

I think it’s a shame a kid’s name might be left off through no fault of their own. Parent might forget or not have the money. You may think you live in an affluent area but no one knows anyone else’s circumstances.

It's definitely much more of a thing in some schools than others. There seems to end up with a culture of gifts and parents trying to out do each other or no gift culture at all.

I'm genuinely glad mine isn't a gifty school. It's a deprived area, with incredibly challenging backgrounds; over 85% EAL, higher than average SEND and we get brilliant results. I genuinely feel like I make a difference in the world, working with my kids and I value that far more than any gift. (I did appreciate the lady who made me samoas at the end of each term! I always eat the homemade food...). Your gifts sound lovely - and if you strike staff who don't do home made food, they'll probably pass them on to another one that does! I have got bonus samosa this way before...😂.

Never given a gift - think it’s ridiculous. Mum was a teacher - also thought it was ridiculous. Most got put in the bin/given to charity. Won’t be contributing to a group gift.

I can afford a gift- I just won’t be jumping on this silly bandwagon.

The kids all make cards instead.

If I were a teacher and received a gift with a bunch of names in it, I certainly wouldn’t be checking any names (or whose is missing). Just sign from the class and stop wasting your time thinking about it.

Is the point of the gift to give the teacher a gift, or is it to let them know who has given them a gift? Anyone who insists it must be contributors only is concerned only that it’s clear they gave money when others didn’t. Saying it’s from “class x” doesn’t preclude parents from giving an individual gift if they choose.

STOP. THE. MADNESS.

Just stop it. It's so god awful. And yes, I'm a teacher and also have DC.

Why do teachers need an end of term gift of several hundred pounds?

i refuse to contribute to any of the collections - if I think a teacher has particularly gone above and beyond their job description then I’ll buy an individual gift otherwise I think it’s completely out of hand the gift giving expectation

In an employment situation from those who contribute. Regarding children it's different and gift should be from all.

I agree. There are people living in affluent areas struggling to 'keep up appearances' on a very tight budget. You can't make assumptions.

Teachers don't need gifts of hundreds of pounds. A small gift of a box of Maltesers (which I'd usually give to the children the next term) or a card with a nice message is plenty and even then not expected.