Feeling unsure about my new job

[Newjobnotsure]

I’m not sure about my new job. The company is small compared to my last employer. IT issues take ages to sort out. My training has been so disjointed because of this. Silly things like no milk in to make tea and having to clean up mugs left dumped in the sink. I’ve been asked if I say hello to the team in the room downstairs on my way in each day. I would find this unnatural and awkward to do this everyday. Maybe I’m weird. I’m happy to chat to anyone I meet during the day. My manager is telling me how to write emails and structure my email folders. My confidence is shot to bits. I think I’ve made a mistake taking the job. I’ve spent the last few hours overthinking everything.

Follow your instincts. I recently fled a new job I had waited ages for because of a vibe I did not like.

Thanks for replying @ohyesido. I don’t think it’s a good fit for me. I feel bad as they are very short-staffed and are really struggling to hire new people.

I received a conditional offer for another job a couple of days ago. However, I don’t know the exact terms and location of the job yet. It’s a potential job in the pipeline. It will be a while before I find out as it’s a lengthy recruitment process. It would be a total career change which does worry me due to my lack of confidence.

I was really happy when I left my old job but feel deflated now.

This happened to me. It's a real sinking feeling. In your shoes, could you tough it out till you know about the other job? Are you likely to go unpaid for long if you chuck it in?
I once started a job and had a similar experience, did 2 days and just couldn't make myself go back. Luckily managed to get a temp position to tide me over.

I think im having a wierd midlife crisis. Im on my 2nd job in 12 months. I literally walked out of the last one in my 2nd week as I just didnt like the vibe. I did give 1 weeks notice as on probation but they let me go that day as I was still training.
Im.now 6 weeks into another job snd HATE it so much. Its horrid. Its very high pressure and very toxic. Im living on my nerves but feel trapped as I had 5 months gap between thus job and last one. I supported myself on savings but know DP did dip into his pocket to help with a couple of unexpected big emergency expenses, and dont eantvto put him in that position again. Plus im notcsure I can flower up my CV enough for 2 short term jobs.
Im early fifties and just find corporate bullshit just gives me the rage. The veiled threats of "if you dont perform or achieve xyz then you're in the shit"....just makes me think " oh fuck off".
I am a really good worker. I care about what I do and strive to do it to a high standard but like so many big companies, you can slog your guts out but if you havnt got the face that fits or are one of the managements fave few... you may as well rock up and do sweet FA!!

My new company just seems an utter shit show too. Frequent GDPR breaches. Payroll issues. Leave issues. An app that is supposed to be the company bible for shift details and leave never bloody works. I rocked up at 6am on Sunday as per my roster on the app, to be sent home as apparently mycshift had changed....but no fucker thought to tell me.

Am back on at midnight tonight and dreading it.

@Turnitoffnonagain I should stick with it until I find out about the other job. Logically this makes sense. However, I fear it will take a long time to find out whether the other job is in a suitable location. I started to look for another job when I finished work today, but I found that depressing as the job market is pretty dire.

Do you like your current job?

I’m sorry, this sounds awful.

Have you thought about quitting, leaving the last two jobs off your CV, and then contacting a temp agency to tide you over for a while. Just tell them you took a career break for the last year or something, they don’t need to know the details. That’s what I’m doing after leaving a job at the end of last year abd taking a few months off.

I also hated the corporate bullshit and micro management.

Temping was a bit slow at first, only a few days here and there, but now I’m picking longer contracts of 4-6 weeks. It’s actually fine, I don’t have that much responsibility, I don’t worry about the office politics, and crucially is giving me some breathing space until I decide what to do next.

You could even just do it while looking for another pernanent role.

I think you need to push back or resist a bit on the emails. You know how to write emails, you have been working for X amount of years and no one has brought it up as an issue.

Your email folders need to be structured for the way you work specifically. Can you try some some no challenging comments, like "I've found this really works for me." and " It's interesting how people work/learn in different ways..."

Just stick your head in and say morning all on your way in. Take your own travel cup and buy some UHT milk sachets. I have to do that as I work for a LA and we have never had a tea bag provided, let alone milk 😅.

I’m sorry to hear how bad you are feeling at the moment. The rota mess up is so unprofessional. Feel free to vent on your break or when you finish your shift if it helps.

I struggle with corporate stuff too especially annual reviews. Having to think of goals to add for the next 12 months. They can see I’m doing a good job and complete my work to a high standard, so it seems pointless and cringey to fill in forms blowing my own trumpet.

I think I’m having a midlife crisis too. I keep thinking about how I’ve never had a career just lots of part time dead end admin jobs. No clear pathway. I feel like such a loser compared to everyone around me. I was told there was room for progression where I work now. I can’t see that happening. Roll on retirement.

@Velvian I will do some of the things you have suggested, thanks. I will try to push back gently. I’m not looking forward to it though. I’m not sure I would be comfortable sticking my head in every day to say hello after all these weeks. I think it might look weird now! Also feels forced. I think I have issues!

You don't sound weird, going in to specifically say hello would be challenging to me too. I imagine that 1 person has said to the manager that they would like to get to know you more, or they wish you interacted with the team a bit more and the manager passed that on to you. I wouldn't worry too much.

I think if a colleague does genuinely want to know you better and include you, they could come into your space, rather than expecting you to make the effort. I think you do get this kind of friction very often when an outside person comes into an established team. It usually gets a lot better over time as you move more towards each other's ways of thinking, rather than finding the differences challenging.

How would it go down if you said that you taking a while to settle in and would feel more comfortable and welcome if people could accept you as quiet and professional. Stress that you are always helpful and friendly when you need to work together.

That’s so helpful. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond again. I’m more than happy to chat to people when I see them. I haven’t been told specifically that I need to say hello, but I read between the lines when my manager made a comment. The last company I worked for was so big there was no way you could say hello to everyone, so this feels out of my comfort zone. I really think I’ve made a mistake joining.

@Newjobnotsure I'm now retired, but did all sorts of jobs in my time, mainly in business admin in insurance and banking. Totally agree about the office politics and performance management bollocks. I always struggled to "toe the line and play the game" in that respect. It must be even harder nowadays with all the inclusion and diversity stuff. But it IS a game. You just have to be smart about it and keep your mind on what works for you.
I didn't have a particularly well structured working life, to be honest I got lucky several times and was just in the right place at the right time. What I will say though, is trust your instincts and don't settle for something that makes you miserable.Good luck.

Best way to cover a gap on your CV is something like "end of life care for elderly relative" because no interviewer is going to want to delve too deeply into that and they cannot ask for proof. You can just say something like that was tough and I dont want to go there but I learned a lot. You should get a few brownie points if nothing else. I know one person who used this to cover a short prison sentence and was never sussed.

If you dont want to tell a lie to cover a blank or unfortunate gap on your cv you can say something vague like:

II had a period of personal circumstances which required my full attention. It was a tough time but I learned a lot from it. The issues are now fully resolved and Im anxious to move forward.

That avoids saying you left an unsatisfactory job or rubbishing your employers. Its not a lie but fits the bill. You could also use it to cover a period of illness.