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This is how it's supposed to feel.....

2 replies

Ironplate · 06/05/2026 14:47

I dont know why it's such a revelation, but I'm seeing my first 'serious' BF since DH died several years ago.

This morning on a group chat, someone said something that upset me a bit. They didn't mean to, they don't know it upset me, it touched a nerve because of something that's going on for me privately atm. Igace the response they were asking for and carried on with my day.

Half an hour later BF called. I didn't pick up because I had my hands full. I don't know what he wanted, but I'd guess he recognised the comment would have stung and is checking in. When I called back he didn't pick up, which is OK, he's working, he'll call me when he can or I'll see him tonight.

This is where the dawning realisation comes. BF is lovely, but I've been concerned a out a lack of "butterflies". This, I have just realised, is because he's "safe". I am feeling no anxiety about missing his call or about him having failed to pick up mine. I'm not anxious about if/when he might call again.

I do know it's all ridiculous, that this hasn't been normal for me before, but are early dating butterfiles, really just anxiety?

OP posts:
TFImBackIn · 06/05/2026 14:51

Butterflies can feel great, but a lack of them doesn't mean you don't have a really nice guy. Sometimes butterflies are just there because you're not sure of someone - will he call, etc - but when you absolutely know someone is really dependable, they're less likely to happen.

Do you really get on? Does he get you? Does he ever get on your nerves?

WinterFrogs · 06/05/2026 15:13

I think you're right @Ironplate My DH is gloriously safe and I love him all the more for it. Also 🔥

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