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Feel awful for not sticking up for my child

9 replies

Lime23 · 04/05/2026 20:36

Today I took my 10 month old DD swimming and after our session we showered and headed to the lockers to get our stuff. While I was getting stuff out of our locker a woman with a couple of kids was putting stuff in the locker directly above me. She went to put more stuff in and I stepped out of the way. She left and I went back to my locker. I really wanted to get DD dry as she was wet and cold and has Raynaud's syndrome. I grab my towel and wrap it round DD while I'm holding her but woman comes back to put more stuff in the locker and before I can stand up she drops a full metal water bottle on me and DD, hitting my shoulder and DD in the face! Woman says sorry repeatedly but in an annoyed sort of way didn't feel very sincere at all. Sounded like she was blaming me for being under her. But she could have picked another locker or waited for me to finish. I appreciate i was being quite slow but I was struggling to get what I needed with a 10 month old in one arm. I feel so upset for the way I handled the situation. DD was of course hysterical and I was focused on seeing if she was ok and comforted. I was in total shock and could only say that was really heavy! I feel like I should have had more of a go at this woman BC she could of seriously hurt DD. I really struggle with confrontation and I didn't even look this woman in the eyes. I feel awful BC I feel like I didn't stand up for my child. Now looking back at it there is loads I wish I had said but at the time I was in disbelief at what had happened and just wanted to be out of that situation and get me and DD away from her as quick as possible.

OP posts:
Happytaytos · 04/05/2026 20:40

It was an accident. No need to "stand up" for your child, the best thing you could have done was cuddled her. The other woman knew she'd done wrong, shouting at her wouldn't have helped.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/05/2026 20:40

You did the right thing. Your baby needed the situation to move on, she will have forgotten about it very quickly. You arguing with and getting mad at the woman would have been really shit and probably scary for your baby. The woman should have been more patient but it was an accident, they happen. Nothing to still be dwelling on now

WhatAMarvelousTune · 04/05/2026 20:41

I don’t think you need to feel bad about it. If your milder response had led to your DD being hurt more then yes, you should have done more. But that’s not what happened here, this wasn’t a situation where you needed to step in to prevent further harm. Having a go at her might have made you feel better (and she should probably have been more careful) but wouldn’t have made a difference to your DD.

bowchicawowwow · 04/05/2026 20:41

Nothing you could have said at that point would have changed the fact that the bottle fell on your DD. As long as your DD is ok you just have to file it away and not think about it again

LemonSorbetCone · 04/05/2026 20:41

Oh op you didnt let your child down. DD needed reassurance and you prioritised tha which is correct. Having a go at the woman may have upset DD more. Anyway she said sorry.

minmooch · 04/05/2026 20:43

She said sorry - not sure what else she could do as long as you and your daughter were ok. It was an accident and therefore no need to stand up for your daughter. If she had maliciously thrown it at your daughter I could see your point but she was probably just as flustered as you with two kids of her own to look after.

Topjoe19 · 04/05/2026 20:44

Is your DD ok? Try to put it out of your mind. Having an argument with her wouldn't have changed anything & may have upset you even more. It was an unfortunate accident that's all.

Thepott2 · 04/05/2026 20:48

She accidentally dropped a
bottle and you are wondering whether you should have had more of a “go” at her?!

emuloc · 04/05/2026 21:06

It was not deliberate, so there was no need to have a go at her. She had already apologised. Move on. There was nothing to gain there.

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