Driving test and petrified

[Helptoooldtodothis]

Hoping I can hear positive stories of late in life learning to drive, I have test coming up this week and at nearly 50 I am petrified.

It's been so many years since I have been tested and failed at something that I am really struggling to keep a lid on my anxiety.

Objectively I think I can drive and perform the manoeuvres, my instructor felt I should submit for test as a part of the learning process but I am waking in the night and having terrible dreams of failing and humiliating myself surrounded by confident teenagers.

It doesn't help that I really do need to drive due to a change in circumstances, not far but regularly a 15 minute journey which is adding to the sense of pressure so tips on managing the anxiety would be greatly appreciated.

Look, if you fail, you can try again.
No one will have died, the examiner will make sure you don’t injure anyone or die.
Just do your best and if you don’t pass, try again.

I passed at 37. Fear of failure is horrible, on the day I did a home workout to try and get rid of some of the angst and I did feel better. Don’t tell anyone your test date either. If you do fail then treat it as a learning experience, the next time will be easier as you’ll know what to expect.

Unfortunately my husband has told various members of his large extended family ( we have relocated to his area from a large city) so keeping it a secret isn't an option. I have relied quite heavily on their help which was agreed in advance since getting here but I know patience has run out and that too is adding to the anxiety and sense of being a burden.

Plenty of people take more than one go at the test. Plenty of teenagers fail it first time too!

If you fail, it's not a big deal. Retake and move on.

Something that helped me was wearing a pendant that my mother gave me so I could pretend a) she was with me b) I was driving her around so did nothing crazy - ha!

Good luck!

This is not life or death, keep it in perspective. And you don’t owe anyone else a “pass” so sod other people’s expectations, it’s your life not theirs. Try doing a yoga or meditation video before your test.

I was young but didn't pass till my 4th test because of nerves. I wasn't a bad driver but on the day the nerves got the better of me. What I have learnt in life is that we are all too scared of failing and we don't get anywhere in life unless we are prepared to fail sometimes. Millions of people fail the test each year but go on to pass it. Who cares if you don't pass and your relatives find out. I bet some of them failed first time. The less nervous you are the less likely you are to fail.

You need to stop worrying so much what others think and live your life.

chances are if you fail they’ll think - good on her for giving it a go.

If there are some mean people who think mocking thoughts - well - that’s on them. Being a mean person is not good for you and they’ll get their comeuppance for being that way.

If you pass your test - great! If you don’t, you have had a valuable experience which means you’ll more likely pass next time.

there is really nothing to lose.

It's not really about them finding out, they are very supportive I don't think they would mock me it's just the very real sense of pressure to pass not only for me but for them if that makes sense. I know I need to "feel the fear and do it anyway", I am a very confident professional normally, but I can't shake the spiralling anxiety for this. We have moved to a beautiful part of the world, I love my new home and new life we have created for us and the kids and this is the only massive hurdle and it feels huge.

Ok. Think of it like this - if you do fall, you’re still nearer to passing after the failure than you were that morning taking the test👍

i also think being able to drive is psychologically significant in ways we don’t quite understand.

Consciously - of course you’re desperate to pass.

But each phase of emotional and psychological development also brings anxiety as it means the loss of a former dependence of some kind and a worry about whether one is really grown up enough to accomplish the step! You see it in child development - they start walking or whatever and then they can become anxious and clingy/sleep badly because their achievement while much wanted also makes them anxious!

(I speak as someone who passed her test quite late in life age 37 - we’d moved back to the rural area where I grew up and with a toddler and a baby on the way it was time to face the fact that I needed to be able to drive! I passed a couple of weeks before said baby arrived!)

Can you ask your GP for propranolol? It will take the edge off your anxiety.

Thanks for all the replies, I failed this afternoon but the sky didn't fall in and I've booked to go again. I appreciate all the replies. I failed on being too slow which is only a minor fault but with multiple points it is moved to a major. Onwards and upwards and faster it would seem.

Sorry to read that it didn’t work out for you. At least you know what you have to work on for next time.

I passed last Summer on my 4th attempt, nerves got the better of me each time before. I’m in my 50s and learning to drive was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but the most rewarding and I wish now that I’d done it years ago.

Good luck for your next test!