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I think i am social anxiety

5 replies

Julia06994 · 04/05/2026 00:40

Hello all, I am an immigrant, and English is not my first language.

I often worry about how local people see me when I socialise with them.

For example, today I went to a play date with my son, his classmate, and his parents. We had a lovely afternoon and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. But once I got home, I started overthinking everything and worrying that I might have done something impolite or “not very British.” I also worry that my English is not good enough and that people might judge me for the way I speak.

One thing in particular has been bothering me. After the play date, my son wanted a drink, so I went to the shop to get him one. I completely forgot to ask whether his classmate would like one too. When I came back, it seemed that his wanted one as well, so I offered, but his parents politely declined.

I feel embarrassed that I forgot such a basic courtesy, and now I keep worrying that they may think badly of me or not want to arrange another play date with us.

They did mention that we should do something again next time, but sometimes British people say things like that just to be polite, so I am not sure whether they genuinely meant it.

I am very introverted and not particularly good with people. Sometimes I worry that this may come across to others as impolite or rude, even though that is never my intention. In fact, if anything, I try very hard not to be rude or unkind. I just cannot stop overthinking what other people might think of me.

Is there anything that could improve my anxiety?

OP posts:
suggestusernamepls · 04/05/2026 01:56

You aren't obligated to offer another child a drink when buying yourself one. It would be different in the home if you were getting one though.

I try not to worry about what other people think. If people judge you, they have a problem. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. I find the best thing for social anxiety for myself is to just let things go and only focus on the kind people. Let people judge. It says more about them.

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 04/05/2026 07:29

I sympathise with you OP. I suffer from extreme social anxiety and I also worry and overthink after any interaction with other people.

One of the helpful things I was told when I had CBT was that it's because my social interactions are fairly sparse in my life they assume great importance.But the people I'm interacting with probably have lots of interactions with lots of people and so for them whatever happened is not a " big thing" and they will just move on to their next interaction without thinking anything about it.

Another thing is to remember a lot of people are focused on their own lives and worries and concerns and what is going on it and actually aren't thinking about other people and what they are doing very much at all.

Fwiw it sounds to me as though you didn't do anything wrong. And they wouldn't have talked about doing other things next time if they in anyway thought badly of you. They wouldn't have bothered to say it even out of politeness.

Julia06994 · 09/05/2026 18:42

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 04/05/2026 07:29

I sympathise with you OP. I suffer from extreme social anxiety and I also worry and overthink after any interaction with other people.

One of the helpful things I was told when I had CBT was that it's because my social interactions are fairly sparse in my life they assume great importance.But the people I'm interacting with probably have lots of interactions with lots of people and so for them whatever happened is not a " big thing" and they will just move on to their next interaction without thinking anything about it.

Another thing is to remember a lot of people are focused on their own lives and worries and concerns and what is going on it and actually aren't thinking about other people and what they are doing very much at all.

Fwiw it sounds to me as though you didn't do anything wrong. And they wouldn't have talked about doing other things next time if they in anyway thought badly of you. They wouldn't have bothered to say it even out of politeness.

Edited

Thank you so much. Reading your messages makes me feel better x

OP posts:
SavedByTheBells · 09/05/2026 18:46

It's not expected to offer to buy someone one something if you're going to a shop, I wouldn't worry about that

I mean it's nice a thing to do but ime you wouldn't be taken up on the offer. Id be surprised if anyone thought badly of you in that situation

SparkysMagicPiano · 09/05/2026 19:26

Don't feel bad OP - you haven't done anything wrong.

Also, considering that you have said that English isn't your first language, you have written a lot more coherently than some MN posters manage.

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