What would you think of this situation?

[Itchiknee]

I’d be really interested to hear people’s honest thoughts on this situation.
If you had bumped into an old friend, and this is his story:
He grew up about a 12+ hour flight from the UK. One of his parents is from the UK, and although he didn’t grow up in the there, he always had a fairly British outlook.
After university (where I met him), he moved to the UK and lived for about 4 years. He met an English woman. They travelled for a while, then settled in our country for about 6 or 7 years, moving to the UK when their eldest turned 2 and have lived there since.
I’ve just seen him for the first time in a while, and he told me he’s moved back to our home country because he’s getting divorced.
He says he was drinking too much, but that it was because he was unhappy in the marriage and that's why he was drinking to that extent. He describes his wife as controlling and says that’s why he was miserable (and so indicated his drinking was due to this). He’s now left the UK and his three children (one has left home, one is on a gap year abroad, and the youngest is in year 9). He’s only been back to the UK once in the past six months, his wife has stated she does not want the youngest visiting him and the eldest two are busy.
He says he’s much happier now — being home and no longer in the marriage — although he still seems to drink quite heavily. He also still works for the same company, so he could have stayed in the UK if he’d wanted to.
I wonder if you heard this story what would your thoughts be?

There are two sides to each story and many people trot out the crazy ex line but there are more people out there with crazy ex than ‘crazy’ people. Maybe it’s true but I would be a bit crazy if my husband was an alcoholic. It’s a shit man who walk away from his young teenage child.

Wouldn't think a lot about it tbh. Pretty common story I think.

Sounds a bit funny that op, and when I say funny - I don't mean the good haha type. I mean funny as in mental

Controlling wife or not, nobody forced him to become an alcoholic and abandon his teenage kids. He sounds like a dickhead to me, self-pitying and perpetually blaming someone else. And raising kids with an immature addict would make anyone appear “controlling”, I think.

I’d be thinking “oh look, another man with an ex so crazy and horrendous he apparently has to disappear for his own sake yet she’s perfectly fine to leave his kids with…”

Tired cliche the crazy ex.

Appreciate your thinking as that’s in line what I was thinking. I had wondered if he’d put his own happiness above his child by moving home.

Tha facts he hasn't stopped drinking and has been happy to leave a child of that age is telling. He's the problem.

I would think he was an abusive alcoholic who takes zero responsibility for his own actions and a dead beat dad.

Thank you -
do
you think this is wise MN’s views or the views of the general public?

General public.

Appreciate this, not everything adds up.

If she’s that bad why on earth has he left his youngest child at a time when their siblings aren’t also around.

i can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t think badly of him - either he’s bullshitting how bad she is and he’s abandoned his wife and children whilst giving her the blame, or he’s totally abandoned his with only an awful person around them.

Neither would make me interested in having him in my life

I would absolutely think there are two sides to this story. I’m also cynical, and would be dubious about the ‘controlling’ ex. Wouldn’t surprise me if he is feckless and selfish. I would wonder what his kids think..