Where do I get help if I'm not depressed?

[PerfectlyReasonable]

Sorry if wrong board.

I am going through some awful things at the moment, cancer, death, financial, relationship, housing.

My doctors have refused counselling as I do not fit their criteria of 'depressed or anxious ' and suggested I find a charity.

I can't stop crying, but it is all understandable, you would cry in my situation - but I can't talk to this with my friends as it makes me feel worse and my family are going through the same.

Years ago I would have shared on here, but I don't want to be identified.

Sorry missed the main point, can anyone recommend anyone that could help, I can't afford private. Thank you

Sorry you're going through such a shit time op 💐

I would definitely try Mind as they should be able to help. Other than that it's likely to be area dependent. We have a local NHS wellbeing service that you self refer to, no need for GP to be involved, but I'm guessing you don't have that?

Alternatively if you work you maybe able to access counselling through your employer. More companies seem to be offering it now

Mind or MacMillan would be two potentials

Have you got a Maggies centre nearby? I believe they offer counselling for people affected by cancer. Macmillan do as well but I’m not sure if you have to be the person with the diagnosis. Sorry you’re having a tough time xxx

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/find-nhs-talking-therapies-for-anxiety-and-depression/

the first line of treatment via gps is talking therapies (you can self refer) which is for anxiety and depression.

@PerfectlyReasonable big hugs if you want them

Try
Maggie's
McMillan's

Also, does your hospital have an associated counselling service? this might be listed as being for cancer patients under the hospital trust rather than the name of the hospital. It's such a mission to find things that are associated with hospitals.

Do you want separate counselling for financial or relationship issues?

I know you don't want to put a lot of detail in but put whatever you feel able to and I'm sure lots of us will research on your behalf

This is what I tried to access, but apparently I'm not eligible

I do want them, and I know that is unmumsnetty
Thank you, it really helps.

I just want someone to talk to, for current grief and fear of losing a person you love more than life to cancer. The other issues are just extra shit.

@PerfectlyReasonable I thought it was you that had the diagnosis but I think Maggie's and McMillan will help you if you are a relative

the NHS services that you're not allowed to use, honestly they're not helpful. Well, as a long time sufferer of depression and anxiety, I didn't find them helpful. They aren't geared up for what you need

I do think what you need is somebody to listen

Have you tried citizens advice? They might have more ideas about where you can go.

Also, it's very left field but when my father was dying, and afterwards, I found the local Vicar extremely helpful. I'm not religious. I might have just been very lucky but he was an excellent person for just listening and putting some of my thoughts and feelings into perspective.

I know how hard it is when you're just scrambling around for people who will be able to listen to what you have to say, because for a lot of people, it's just too hard.

if you have got friends who are prepared to listen, I would do that. Do you need practical advice? CAB are probably best for that and the stuff you just need to say out loud, I would always go to friends first if that was an option.

DD found Mind incredibly helpful. They are there at the end of the phone line and will listen with kindness. Some areas can offer a short session of counselling at very cheap rates.

I am just reiterating what others have said about Mind. They're really supportive and offer some sessions themselves in certain areas or will be able to refer you to somewhere local.

Don't feel disheartened about the NHS. I self refered in in September last year, had an initial telephone assessment in December, a formulation appointment in May and am now on a waiting list which I've been advised could be another 6/8 months. So not really suitable when you're in immediate need. That's apparently with me being high priority, the system Is so stretched and the backlogs are so long.

Be kind to yourself OP, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and you're right anyone would be struggling under your circumstances.

I know it's controversial but sometimes when I'm really low I just type into Gemini. I know it's trained to be biased and is inaccurate at times but I just find it helpful to vent and get it all out sometimes when I'm really struggling.

This charity may be able to offer the type of support you are looking for. https://www.sueryder.org/ I feel for you OP.

I've had invaluable support from both Macmillan (best cup of tea I've ever drunk, thanks to a wonderful volunteer called Valerie in 2017) and Maggie's, when my mum and DP both had cancer.

You've got a lot going on OP, it's ok to feel wobbly. Please keep posting here, a problem shared and all that...

Do you work? My employer offers workplace assistance which includes counselling?