Best typo that you’ve either read or had happen to you

[AutisticLegoLover]

I was updating a thread of mine earlier and went back over it to do a quick proof read. I was bemoaning the stupid virus I’ve got but it had been changed to Boris instead of virus which amused me greatly. I’m easily tickled with things like this when the typo is somehow eerily associated with the word you typed but your phone changed to make you look illiterate. My phone hates me and it’s getting worse lately with the typos. The word is correct when I type it and the bastard changes it when I’m not looking.

What’s your best one?

You may now shit down the computer.

Not me but a former pupil wrote about his penis case (pencil case) 🤣🤣

Local playgroup that I don't attend but do use the same space occasionally. They have all their drawers labelled with their contents - 'scissors', 'paper' etc, then the funny one 'multicultural crayons'. I've taken a peek inside and they are definitely just run of the mill multi-coloured crayons. I don't think anybody else has noticed as the sign never changes!

I was providing a consultancy session to a client for a new systems implementation, about 20 odd people in the room and my laptop projected on the screen in the room.

I needed to get a quick count of rows in a database table, happily typed the query:

select CUNT(*) from Contact

Took me a while to see why I got an error, a few sniggers in the room but nobody told me. It had been a long day.

Me too 🤣🤣🤣

When I worked in IT for Dept for Work and Pensions I quickly typed an email about testing 'Pensions' but must've added or transposed some letters as it was autocorrected to 'Penises' and I didn't notice and sent it out to colleagues. To much hilarity...

Once worked somewhere that had commissioned a group of academics to produce a very expensive report about a particular area.

At the time, there was a very high Sikh population. Unfortunately, spellcheck had decided that they meant "Sheikh" and not "Sikh" and someone had pressed "replace all".

Interesting reading!

Not exactly a typo but a strangely written obituary.

My Grandfather was relatively well known in the community, so our local paper published a short account of his life. The last sentence read:

' He leaves a son and a bookcase.'

"Congratulations on the safe arrival of baby A. I imagine you're very busty right now, but..."

I sure was, boss, but please don't think about that.

I got a flyer through for a new hairdresser - fist service had a 10% discount

I had a lovely text from DP asking me to bring chains and Coke to his. Turns out he just wanted to say if you get a chance can you bring some cola. The difference in how that night could have played out were mind blowing

My Mum once cut out a typo in the local paper.
It was an obituary for a beloved Brownie leader:

'The best Brown Ale the Brownies have ever had.'
In those days there were two editions of the paper published, and the later one corrected it to Brown Owl.

I often dictate my emails, and the software sometimes changes my name to Tony randomly, and also sometimes to Funny.

One horrifying time, it then weirdly added "bones" on the end, meaning that I was sending a very serious finance email to some senior people signed

All best,

Funnybones

Many years ago and I wish I can remember the full notice but it contained the phrase

‘Poof reading’

A couple of howlers in a report sent to a farmer client (who'd paid a small fortune for it). For some reason, the typist wasn't on the ball, and the report went out with one point asking how many of the "tups" were female (tups are male sheep!). And throughout the report, it said the aim was to maximise the tax they were pay, instead, of course, saying minimise - that recurred several times throughout the report. Someone else proof-read it as I was off for a couple of days, and it ended up being sent out with mistakes. I only noticed it when I got back to the office a couple of days later and read through it and was horrified! Luckily I had a copy of the hand written draft so I know it wasn't my fault.

I teach English as a foreign language in my spare time, and it basically simply involves having text conversations with students, and then providing them with corrections for their responses.

I asked one if he enjoyed learning English, and he replied that he loved "being in my ass" (should have been class.... I hope!)

Boss was discussing design of a military product with a customer and emailed to ask if he wanted a plastic dick attached to it (disk)

When I lived abroad my brother emailed me to say his gf had cheated on him and he will never 'thrust' another woman again. I found it amusing and he did in fact thrust many the woman after her.

Sent an email to someone called Poppy but typed Poopy. Also sent an email signed off Best retards instead of regards.

I remember reading one on Damn You Autocorrect where a mum had sent a text to her daughter saying that she was sorry to let her know that the Mum’s cunt had died. She meant aunt. Probably a made up one but made me laugh anyway!

Large professionally printed sign outside a shop which was part of local supermarket building that was changing hands: “Please bare with us during the renovations”. They did eventually notice, but only a few days before the supermarket re opened 🤪

That really tickled me. 😂😂

A takeaway near me distributed these leaflets a few years ago...

My favourite correction in our local paper many years ago was an apology for “reporting that £50,000 worth of drugs had been stolen from Steve Roberts Carpets. Rather, the theft involved £50,000 worth of rugs.”

not sure whether it destroyed or improved footfall for Steve Roberts carpets.

I once posted that I’d just had the yummiest ‘peking dick’ instead of peking duck 🤣 didn’t notice for ages either so embarrassing 🙈

This thread is the best argument I’ve seen so far for the return of the laugh emoji.