I am unreasonably put out about this

[Gardenimp]

I have a small circle of friends and aquaintances through a sport.

For a while there was a man "John" who was part of the group. He seemed to come out of nowhere became very good at the sport very quickly, was a larger than life character with loads of incredible stories, and a life lived on the fringes of the underworld (or so we susspected). E.g he always had a wad of cash on him, wherever we went he'd bump into people he knew, who often weren't people like us iyswim. He always knew someone who could get tickets for sold out events etc.

Anyway then he just disappeared. Stopped coming to events, stopped interacting on group chats, no one could contact him. We had speculated that he must either be dead, in prison or had had to leave town! It's been quite a talking point.

My BF has just posted on our group that he saw John yesterday and he is still alive. I was with BF for 3 hours yesterday evening and he didn't mention it!

I know it's daft, but it feels all wrong that he didn't think to tell me. I don't think there's anything wrong about them meeting etc, and there's no reason he needed to tell me, I'm just surprised he didn't iyswim.

Well, now, next time you see BF, you can pump him on all he knows about 'John'.

I'd be curious why he left your group so quickly. Do you think he swindled one of your group or tried it on with one of the ladies or one of the lads ...

Well exactly so many questions, and as a group we have speculated on it a lot, yet BF didn't think to tell me he'd seen him.

Prison - definitely. Or abroad to evade prison. Maybe your friend doesn't want to say anything that will get in the way of the tickets and cash?!

Perhaps BF is jealous of your interest. Also, maybe BF had plenty of other things to tell you?

I thought you were going to say you were out out that he wasn’t, in fact, dead.

Well presumably you were talking about other things. Or his mind was on other things and it temporarily slipped his mind. He may not have assigned as much importance to it, as you did.

When he remembered later he posted on it on the group where you had been speculating. Why does it matter that he didn't mention it earlier?

He was one of those men who "adores" his wlfe and child whilst having a bit on the side, who he actually brought to events sometimes, "just friends".

I suspected he'd been found out and banned from leaving the house or burried under the patio

Because it's the most exciting thing we have to talk about 🤣

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.
The first thing I think of when I find out something interesting or some gossip is I can’t wait to tell OH! He’s the same. It’s one of the best things about knowing someone so well and being in a relationship to me.

Yes, I think that's it. We're not a couple that messages much, mostly only to confirm, see you at 8pm, but I think I'd have messaged him with that news!

It's most likely to have been of such minor trivial interest to him, that he forgot fairly quickly after he posted the thing in the chat.

Or - as is often the case with DH, he tells other people and thinks he's told me as well. Then some time later when I ask why didn't he tell me about whatever, he's positive that he did tell me, and it's me who's forgotten!

No, he saw me last night, the day he bumped into John and has posted on the group today.

It really won't have been trivial to him, he's loved all the drama speculation 🤣