Help me decide where to live please

[Omghowmuch]

As per the title, I have to move from my current home and I am going around in circles trying to decide where to look to buy my new home so I thought I’d ask mumsnetters for their opinion.

I live in a very expensive property area in the South East and my share of the sale will not enable me to buy very much at all around here - which is an area I have lived in for around 50 years.

My dilemma is do I buy a flat/maisonette in the surrounding area (if I can find one) just to stay fairly local but unlikely to have any garden/outside space which is important to me, or do I look for a property that I can make my new home in an new area that I don’t love but have good friends already living there.
Another option would be to try and find an completely new area that I like the look of and try and find a property?

I have to move quickly on this as offer has been accepted on current home and they are in a good position to proceed quickly.

Please help me stop my head spinning!

Do you have any work requirements?
How many friends are in the new area? Are they likely to stay there long term? What is it you dont love about the new area?

I currently work 25 hours per week and would need to find something similar in a new area, it’s not the sort of job/pay that is worth commuting for.

I’m 58 & eligible for full state pension at 67, I also have a small private pension I could cash in but would rather hang on to for a bit longer.

it’s a couple of old, really good friends that have semi-retired to new area and I’m pretty sure will be staying there. I have visited & stayed many times but it’s coastal, which has never been my dream.

Due to caring responsibilities over the last few years, I don’t have any savings so will be a cash buyer with my share of the current property and I don’t think I’d be able to get any kind of mortgage.

What’s the situation on right move in your area now for flats with a garden?
what’s your lifestyle? Is it more urban/suburban activities you prefer?
If you have visited your coastal friends many times and you aren’t keen then Im not sure its a good idea. The weather will mostly be worse than where you are now Im assuming and the job situation might not be great either.
I think I would book to look at some flats in your area first and see how you feel about them. Try a range of styles to narrow things down and check about service charges and leashold/freehold info.

I’m a similar age. I’d say find a completely new area to love and start a proper new life, after what sounds like a difficult time.

You can always visit your friends still.

A nice little property with a garden sounds perfect.

@fouroclockrock basically there are no flats with gardens around this area. It’s quite a unique area and has become very even more desirable and affluent in the last 20 or so years. It’s easier commutable into London but also AONB and semi-rural once you get outside of the very lovely town. Since Covid prices have skyrocketed too.

My lifestyle is pretty quiet, I would describe myself as a sociable introvert. I enjoy my own company but I do have a good social network and can always meet up with one or other friends fairly easily so I’m not isolated. This is part of my problem. If I could stay around here I would BUT I know I wouldn’t be happy in a flat.

I would also like to own outright (I.e. freehold) my own place to make my new home.

it’s not that I hate the area my friends are in but like I said, coastal living has never been an aspiration of mine & the East wind is bitter in the winter where they are, however, I could afford a little house or bungalow there.

@Ophira little house with a garden is my dream.

I need space to recover after a few very difficult years but don’t have the luxury of vast funds in order to accomplish it.

My suggestions

If possible buy a flat which is Freehold

The downside with flats that are leasehold, is that communal charges can increase greatly over time
eg
new roof
Insurance
Are you allowed to sublet if you go travelling ?

If you bought a flat with no garden
Apply for an allotment
Volunteer at local Green space, National Trust or equivalent in your area
Litter pick with local group
Become a tree warden
Start a community orchard

Look at bus routes, shops, doctors, entertainment

Also look at canal boats, house boats, motorhomes

@Omghowmuch What's your budget?

Look on right move & expand your area further outwards

Look on property auction sites if you are a cash buyer

Im moved to Scotalnd when I around your age I had a DC here but at the time 2 1/2 hours from where I moved too now 6! I have never regretted it. Property prices are very much cheaper here a very good size bungalow in a "sort after location" with a good size garden garden and a stunning view £260ish a "little house with a garden" 200K and often less.
If you looking for "space to recover" you can't beat rural Scotland most English people who live here say the same thing "there's no noise". In general locals are very friendly and welcoming, petrol is cheaper, significantly less polution, less litter, less traffic, infact people in general, a busy day on our most popular local sandy beach on a sunny bank holiday last year 60 people max. I live on the west side so not so much of an issue with east winds but we do get lots of rain here.
Transport links back down south well I'm porly served for public trasnport but can be in Euston in 5 hours door to door, major cities like Glasgow Edinburgh 2 - 2 1/2 hours.
I know people will tell you there are lots of cons to living in Scotland but I'm originally a Londoner but also a natural nomad so have lived everywhere least it feels like it and in my extensive experience there are cons to where ever you live.
Scotland has an aging population the positives to this in many areas are active welcoming retirement communities my two nearest towns have lots of activites organised so making new friends is not difficult.

Dont do a canal boat theres a very good thread in this on Chat lots of people wiht experience saying "dont do it!"

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5521302-would-i-be-mad-to-sell-my-house-to-live-on-a-narrowboat?latest=1]]
This one!

Hmm ok so it seems you have no ties to your area other than familiarity. I am assuming you dont want to look further out in your area if its semi rural and maybe still too expensive? Are there other parts of the UK you have ties to or have visited and liked?

A friend of mine was looking for somewhere cheaper with an artist vibe. She moved up to the Newcastle area. Might be Whitley Bay. Another friend retired to Whitstabke in Kent and is very happy.

Maybe have a think about what really matters to you about where you live and go from there? I for example would want a train station. a good coffee shop and not a lot of hustle and bustle.

Where exactly are you and where Exactly are your coastal friends? If they are good pals.. you want to be able to see them regularly, I would assume?

My friends are in Essex, about 2.5 hrs drive from where I am in the home counties and I would absolutely want to continue visiting them.

The issue is that I have been in this area since I was 8. It's a fantastic area to live with good travel options but also very leafy, semi-rural right on the doorstep hence why its expensive. If I could afford a small place with a garden I would stay as I can do a half hour walk into town to meet local friends and easily get a taxi back.

I'll have approx £300k from the sale of the house, which is a great but won't get anything half decent here unfortunately.

There's obviously the familiarity factor that I have to this area but I do have a number of good friends around here too. Many of whom i met 25 odd years ago whilst working at the same large corporate company.

There's a lot to be said about knowing good tradespeople and those to avoid, especially when you're on your own.

I agree with you about knowing your area and if you like it, that’s already a great win. I can’t imagine quite where you are so I feel without a pointer as to where to start.

Why not take a sabattical from your job. Buy a cheap small used camper van and go exploring for several weeks.
If you go, on your own you will very quickly get a feel for how friendly places are and how you feel about being somewhere when you dont know people.
You could start buy working outward from where you are. Starting at the point when it hits affordability for you.
And throw in new and interesting places as you fancy ?

The home countries is a pretty large area. Are you sure there is nothing in your vague area? You haven’t mentioned any other places of interest so I think maybe it would be hard for you to move away from what you have known for so long. You might need to compromise and look for something smaller or less beautiful than you picture in your mind? Can you give an idea of the area you are in? How many bedrooms are you hoping for?

How sure are you that you could easily find work in a new area? There is a thread I was reading this morning where the OP is 55 and really struggling to get any kind of job after redundancy, and it's not the first I've read in a similar vein with many posters contributing and saying that they too are struggling to find work in their mid-late 50s.

I wouldn't move somewhere new at this stage of life - I would stay where my friends, family and social network is. Unlike you, I've moved around a lot, and I would say it takes about five years to feel properly at home in a new area. You've got to start from ground zero with everything - not just finding tradesmen that you trust, but a doctor, dentist, hair stylist, optician, vet, dog groomer, gym, running group, book group, church (delete as applicable). It really is a big deal.

Can you not buy a garden flat or look in a less desirable area nearby? I live in a very desirable small city that is frequently included in best and most expensive places to live lists, but there are cheaper towns and villages nearby. If I'm ever priced out of this city I'll move to one of those, but I definitely won't be heading off into the wide blue yonder to a place where I know no one.

@Omghowmuch would a park home be a possibility in your locale?

Having read your update, I think you’d really prefer to stay in your area, and I see why.

Id take a look at new builds, sometimes you can get a little bit of outside space even on a flat, and would be cosy and cheap to run

I’m really not trying to be a negative Nelly and I do appreciate you all taking the time to reply to my plea - trust me, I’m tying myself in knots over this (and annoying myself too)

Just to reiterate a couple of things …
I do not have the luxury of time. An offer has been received and excepted on the current house, the buyers are not in a chain and want to move asap.
I can’t take a sabbatical from my job to drive around researching places.
What I get from the house sale will enable me to purchase, what will hopefully be, my new home. Which will hopefully give me an opportunity to heal after what has been a difficult few years involving several bereavements.
It’s just me and the cat.
A garden is very important to me.

My wish list would be a freehold property with 2 bedrooms and some outside space, not on a main road.
I have been totally spoilt living where I do, I realise this. I also realise I have to compromise but I also know I would be miserable in a flat. There’s a couple of over 55’s retirement places but they are essentially small cubes with tiny living room, kitchenette, bedroom & bathroom … I’m not ready for that kind of set up.

There’s a cheaper, larger town nearby. I know it well, I would not want to live there.

I have travelled within the uk and abroad but this area has always been ‘home’.

So I guess, that leaves me with buying a wish list property near my other good friends or trying quickl6nto identify a new area that also has suitable properties and try & set down new roots.

My back up plan for if I can’t find employment in a new area is to cash in my private pension, fortunately I don’t have extravagant tastes, or as a real last resort some sort of care role but because I have done that previously, I’d really rather not.

Would you live more rurally?

Or yes, move to Scotland, that sort of money would get you a cracking house out with the cities or commuter belt

Do you feel like you could upsticks and move somewhere new? Yorkshire for example. But its far from friends. What is it about flats that you are totally against?