Should I ask a neighbour if I have upset them?

[TangerineIceCreams]

I think I’ve upset a neighbour and I can’t work out how??

I live across the street from a couple with a young family. Occasionally said hello nothing more but they seemed ok? Nearly a year ago things changed. I see the woman standing in the open doorway a lot , or looking out of the windows directly at my house. When the kids are taken to school (if by the dad) she stands there staring. If I go to leave or put the bins out etc at the same time she signals them all back into the house? If he puts the rubbish out she’s at the door just standing there staring? They do not go out separately at all any more it seems except for AM school run. If I’m taking my ds to school and leave at the same time they will go back in it feels like to avoid walking at the same time as me??

They don’t say hello anymore if we happen to pass in the street and if anything she seems to look angry and he seems to look at the floor ? It’s incredibly odd and I have a gut feeling I’ve done something to annoy one or both?

I did have quite a bit of work done to the house last year and it was a bit noisy and some days work vans were a nuisance as it reduced the parking on the street but I can’t think of anything else.

It’s a definite atmosphere and I’m wondering if I should ask is something wrong next time they pass me and ignore me, or is that passive aggressive?

I would file under 'who the fuck knows'
and let them get on with it

Personally I don't believe in giving into adult sulking and manipulation like this. If she has a problem she can approach you about it and have a civil conversation like a grown up. If she's just giving you evils because she wants you to grovel, she can do one.

That is not normal behaviour. For the entire family to behave so odd and weird, you won’t be receiving a rational answer. So no I wouldn’t ask them. They seem to want a reaction so I would just ignore them

Personally I don't believe in giving into adult sulking and manipulation like this. If she has a problem she can approach you about it and have a civil conversation like a grown up. If she's just giving you evils because she wants you to grovel, she can do one.

It’s just making me quite uncomfortable- the going back in if I come out is very strange as I feel it’s really aimed at me it’s not some kind of coincidence. I can only think I pissed them off with the work to the house last year as nothing else has happened.

Did you let them know you were having work done? And apologise if it caused any inconvenience? It really annoys me when others aren't considerate and all that was needed was a text letting people know. However, she does sound a bit over the top if that is the case.

This

Is your son the same age as her child?

Has something happened between the two of them?

Why are you worried ?
You won't necessarily get the truth and how do you know they won't ignore you and you'll be no further forward .
Why does it matter if someone in the road doesn't speak to you?

for you to know she’s staring , does that not mean you are staring at her?

Exactly I can't understand why it matters. She's just a woman that lives in the same road. People come and go also.

It’s more the feeling uncomfortable as she’s just there so often in the doorway or the window. Staring. I didn’t ever notice that before. She always looks annoyed and her husband always looks nervous ?? It’s just very odd.
My son is older than their dc so not any kind of friendship issues at school.

They don’t say hello anymore

are you saying “hello” to them?

We are directly opposite so when I leave my house it’s where I’m facing . If I look out of my windows they are directly opposite and I see her. A lot of the time she stands in the open doorway too ?

Yes previously we would say hello or morning now when i say it there’s no response or if they are together she looks annoyed he looks fed up ?

So just by chance you look out of your window and she’s always just standing there staring at your house?

Kill her with kindness - be super friendly, big cheery hello or a wave. See what happens. If she’s wanting to make a point she needs to crack on.

very often yes. It’s more noticeable how often she’s in the open doorway though or especially in the mornings if they are leaving if I leave at the same time they all get taken back in door shut and they clearly leave once I’ve gone up the road ?

do you have a DH?
does she think he is a paedo or something -or your son- mistaken identity or does she think you have reported her or her DCs for some reason?
I would probably go and ask her when her DH is around.

So you say to both of them “morning!” And they just look away?

My sons are 9 and 10 months so def not that ! I don’t think they would think anything bad about dh ? He works away a lot so he’s not always here but that’s always been the case.

She must have a lot of time
on her hands. Just to stand there staring at your house. She must have really let the cold air In over the winter months!

Think of all the times she must supposedly be staring at your house when you don’t, by chance, look out of your window and catch her at it!

Op I suspect massive hyperbole is going on here so I’ll leave you to crack on

I don’t understand what you mean ? I feel really uncomfortable about this situation its caused an atmosphere for me.

Maybe she caught the husband watching you with binoculars and she is making sure her man is supervised.