BF is an extrovert, I am not.

[Waterrush]

He loves socialising. Likes to be busy and with others all the time.

I like people and enjoy socialising, but I have to work at it and need down time away from crowds.

I'm more than happy for BF to go anywhere, with anyone without me, and happy to be left with a day or evening to myself.

He always wants to persuade me to go. It's not that I don't want to go, don't like the people or won't enjoy it once I'm there, it's that I don't always want to be "out".

He does the same on the rare occasion I've planned to do something by myself or with my own friends, will try and persuade me he should join me.

I don't think it's that he's being controlling, if I put my foot down and insist, he'll accept it without any moaning/sulking/temper. I don't feel unable to say I don't want to go, he just makes it clear he"d prefer it if I did. I think he just genuinely does believe the more the merrier, and that I'll be missing out if I don't go.

To be clear, I love that he's so sociable and the way that opens the world up for an introvert, I just need a break sometimes.

Is there a way to explain it that an extrovert might understand?

You’re not compatible, if he hasn’t listened to your reasons so far it’s just not going to work.

You clearly aren’t compatible.

i’m an introvert married to an extrovert and it’s hard work

Is there any activity you enjoy that he doesn't? Maybe you enjoy a zumba class and he likes golf. Different tastes in films, books or food. He obviously thinks it will "do you good" to go out and socialise but you could probably argue the health/educational benefits of some of the stuff you like. If you're respectful of each other's choices it shouldn't matter.

Well I think its nice that whatever he wants to do, and wherever he wants to go, he would rather do these things with you, than without you. Most places I go to I would prefer to have my DH with me than not, mostly because I know I will probably have a better time with him there because I enjoy his company and we will have a laugh.

But I wouldn't make him go anywhere he doesn't want to, or feel he doesn't want to. And your BF is obviously the same so I don't think he is doing anything wrong wanting you to go.

Why can't you explain how you feel to him, like you have done to us here? Just let him know that sometimes you feel you would rather be on your own or not go.

This is manageable if you both want it to be.

Opposites attract and all that.

Same.

It is the opposite way round in my house, I am the extrovert and DH the introvert. I remember in the early days it was very problematic and I couldn't understand why he didn't want to go to the nights out, parties, weddings etc.

However, I accepted this a very a long time ago and I never put any pressure on him to attend anything he doesn't want to. Unless it is something very important like a family wedding he doesn't really come to much. I have my own friends and social activities and honestly it works absolutely fine (for us!).

I'm not really a believer of opposites attract like this. Perhaps it's ideal for the extrovert, but so much if you're more introverted. This reminds me of my ex husband and I. It broke my heart because I loved him a lot but my mental health wasn't great after a few years. We just weren't as compatible as I wished and we both couldn't and wouldn't change. Something had to give and it meant divorce. I'm a bit of a free spirit at times and the relationship I'm in now gives me the space mutually to allow me the freedom.

There are obviously relationships that work out.. perhaps through understanding and compromise. I do believe it's possible, but it won't always be easy.