Toddler dressing battles

[NewHereAsking]

I’m really struggling with getting my toddler dressed at the moment and it’s making me feel like a terrible parent.

I cannot get a jumper or coat on him without it turning into a full-on battle. I’ve tried everything I can think of… giving him choices (“this one or this one”), making it into a game, staying calm, giving warnings, letting him try himself… nothing seems to work.

It usually ends up with me having to physically wrestle him into a jumper/coat and then into the buggy so we can actually leave the house. He gets so upset, crying and screaming, and I just feel awful doing it. It feels so forceful and horrible, but I genuinely don’t know what else to do when we need to go out.

I keep thinking I must be handling it wrong somehow, or that other parents have some trick I’m missing.

Is this just a phase that everyone goes through, or am I doing something wrong here? How do people actually get toddlers dressed without it turning into a meltdown?

Take the jumper or coat with you and offer if he gets cold? He may not understand why he needs them if he's warm in the house.

Toddlers are irrational. I wouldn't bother making it a battle but I'd bring the extra layers so that when he realises he's cold/wet, I could offer them.

It is just a phase so in a day or two he'll be refusing the bath b/c the water's too wet or somesuch. There are plenty of threads on MN about crazy toddlers who are beside themselves because they want the sky to be green or trees to be purple or ...

Just take it with you.

The battle is being created by you!

What do you think will happen if he goes outside without a coat?

The answer is: he'll either learn he feels more comfortable with a coat, or you'll learn he's a child who runs hot and doesn't need a coat as often as you do.

Put the coat in the pram and wait until he complains about being cold. Jobs a goodun.

Ok thankyou everyone!!

Please don't think you're being an awful parent - so many of us have had the same experience. My DD was exactly the same only I couldn't get a stitch of clothing on her - so we'd get in the car with her naked and go to nursery with a bag of clothes and the nursery staff would dress her. And she wasn't the only child who went to nursery naked. And then suddenly she would happily get dressed with no issues at all.

I look back on the whole phase with great fondness now but the first few times it happened it was infuriating. Let it go!

I don't disagree with any of the above but one thing I'd add is keep an eye out for patterns. I only realised how upsetting coat texture was to my son years later when he had the words to explain. Now we can have a conversation about it it's all fine. It's not always the case that they will wear it when they are cold enough.

Thankyou @DPotter that's made me feel a lot better and I'm glad she finally was happy to get her clothes on!

Thankyou @DellOpen! Glad summer is on the way 🤣