My beautiful nan passed away yesterday

[Isitreflux]

Today is my 30th birthday but the worst day of my life. I spent it organizing my nan’s funeral and cancelling her utility bills. It almost feels like I’m erasing everything, like everything that held her life together is slowly going and stopping. I’m broken.

She went into hospital in a bad way physically but mentally was all there. She still had so much life in her and there’s a big ‘if only she got it checked sooner’ hanging over us.

I am a few weeks post partum and she never got to meet her third great grandchild, which breaks my heart.

She fought till the very end, I’m unsure if she was aware that she was going to die, initially I thought she must be, but then she made a few comments implying she thought she was going to make it home. It wasn’t really a peaceful ending. It was both drawn out and sudden at the same time.

My dad was by her side each day, he left to go home the night before she passed as he was too weak to stay the night. We got the call early yesterday morning, meaning she passed alone. This is crippling me.

She was the most kind hearted, independent, interesting woman you could ever meet. She didn’t quite make her 90th birthday, she was truly taken too soon. I feel so much pain, such a deep sense of loss. I just want her back.

So sorry for your loss OP. Losing a much loved nan is always going to be difficult but the timing with your birthday and your baby is particularly hard.

Don't beat yourself up about her being alone. I've heard many stories if people who "choose" to be alone when they pass - for example whilst the person sitting with them steps out to go to the bathroom or go home for a shower. Your nan may well have held on while your Dad was there.

Be kind to yourself.

Sorry to hear the sad news about your beloved Nan, I send you my best wishes and a hug . I have also heard that people often pas away when they are alone.

So sorry to hear this @Isitreflux .

It’s normal for loved ones to pass alone. I sat with my granddad by his bed, popped out and returned, he’d gone. My grandma, years before, my dad sat with her for hours, went out to call relatives, and she slipped away. My DD who is an Intensive Care Doctor says that this is normal. Not easy for us left behind, but it seems that for them, they want to pass alone.

💐Of course you want her back, but she’s with you lovely. It was her time. She knows you loved her.

Awwww mate. 😢I'm so sorry to hear that. You sound so blue, (and understandably.) R.I.P nan.

I’m sorry for your loss @Isitreflux

And I agree with what others are saying that anecdotally, I have heard of many cases when people have had family members with them all day, but pass away when they go home for some rest. This happened with my mum too.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP 💐 I hope in time, when the grief is less raw, you wonderful memories will be a comfort to you. Sending you a big hug 🫂

Biggest Hugs.

i was devastated losing my Nana, she was 'my person' & I was 15 when she died. It's a long story. So I won't go into it, but family that were with her let her down & 40 years later I'm still angry.

but I also agree with others, often a person will wait to be alone to slip away. I 'think' they're trying to make it easier on loved ones.

im extremely sorry it's happened around your birthday, my Dad died around my Muns Birthday. It just makes it that bit harder!!

your Nan didn't get to meet your baby. But (IMO) She'll be looking out for them! Im
not religious but I have my own beliefs around death that keep me going. I will see my family again 💕 believe you will see your Nan again (it helps (me) even when I can't answer how!!)

what kept her life together was love, not gas bills. For as long as you continue to love & remember her, she'll never be 'gone' 💕