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Would you 'go' if you suddenly had full financial autonomy?

19 replies

JengaCupboard · 21/04/2026 15:57

I was told a few weeks ago that an old colleague had inherited a large sum of money through probate - not absolutely life changing like millions, but a few hundred thousand. When we worked together she lived with her very long term partner (I would estimate now over 25 years) although they weren't married and had no children together (her at all) - as far as I had heard this situation hadn't changed - we both still work/worked in quite a condensed sector of construction.

Anyway, my colleague emails me to say that ex-colleague has 'overnight' quit her role (which was the main reason for the email), taken the money and left her long term partner, moved out of the house and literally disappeared with no conversation, no explanation, nothing - just left.

Others in my office/company were like WTAF/unbelievable, who does that blah blah..

But actually, I wonder how many people, if given total financial autonomy would absolutely sack off their lives (primarily relationships/marriages) if they no longer needed the joint financial input to support their lifestyles/children etc.

I bet quite a lot actually. I read so much on here about women in awful relationships, and one of the main reasons aside from splitting time with children appears to be financial implications.

To break up is one thing, but to quit your job and just vaporise is quite another! Apparently she is 'ok' and doesn't need to be reported missing or anything (don't know how they know this) but what an extreme move, and would you?

I wouldn't now, but historically I could have been tempted...

OP posts:
FeliciaFancybottom · 21/04/2026 16:41

Nope, I love my husband and want to be with him. The money would be used to do something we'd both enjoy.

SassyButClassy · 21/04/2026 16:43

No, I'd be so happy that me and DH could live together with financial freedom and enjoy one another without distraction. It would be a dream come true for me and a dream come true for me that I've had for him.

youalright · 21/04/2026 16:45

No i like my life, if I didn't like my partner I would leave with or without money life is to short

MyMonthlyNameChange · 21/04/2026 16:47

There was a time a few years ago when DH and I were having a rough patch and I probably would have done this. I wouldn't do it now.

But I also wouldn't have any second thoughts about buying whatever new bit of furniture, car, or luxury holiday I wanted without having to consult DH on every sodding detail.

AppleKatie · 21/04/2026 16:48

No I also love my husband!

however if this should happen to me in 20 years and I was a widow… I’d be seriously tempted to start again in a part of the country I could then afford a gorgeous house in.

HotChocolateBubbleBath · 21/04/2026 16:54

No, I'd never work again but I'm cracking on for 60 anyway, so that's no big surprise. I wouldn't leave my husband. We've worked so hard to rebuild our relationship over the past 2 years and it is wonderful again.

Cricketashes · 21/04/2026 16:58

No. I'm not with my husband for his money so don't see why I'd leave if I came into some.

shrunkenhead · 21/04/2026 17:01

Hell, yeah! I love my job though so I'd keep that and my dc, of course.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 21/04/2026 17:04

I would sack off my job but not my husband! I love him and our entire lives are intertwined. We have networks of friends and family...it would ruin everything!

JengaCupboard · 21/04/2026 17:06

On reflection she was always quite insular - wouldn't buy a house or entertain getting married, no kids.. she seemed happy enough from my very exterior position and had done this same job for years and years, so not flaky as such, but in some ways I am not surprised that she has done this. I wonder whether it was deep rooted self preservation, or potentially just outright selfishness.

Or he was that bad... who knows!!

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 21/04/2026 17:07

Agree that lots of people would consider it as many are in stale, unhappy relationships because of financial constraints.

NinthBestOption · 21/04/2026 17:13

It's an interesting proposition.

I'd leace work like a shot but love my husband, we're a team and it works well. I earn more than him anyway and nearly all our investments are in my name so I could do a flit if I wanted.

I do wonder if a few years down the line you might drift apart though, if money gives you unlimited options you may not want the same things.

CautiousOptimist · 21/04/2026 17:20

I wouldn’t leave DH, no. Love our lives, and look forward to spending retirement together - although I am an introvert and enjoy some time / holidays on my own / with my own friends.
Actually similar did happen to me with an inheritance last year. But after 10 years as a SAHM supported by him fair’s fair - see the money as ours, not mine.

SwatTheTwit · 21/04/2026 17:20

I love my partner so I wouldn’t leave him, but I do wonder if our relationship would survive because I’d probably be able to relocate with that kind of money, the only reason I live where I live is work and he’s very attached to it, it’s his hometown.

Stressybetty · 21/04/2026 17:23

You never know what goes on in people's relationships though. Maybe the cash was her chance for escape.

Shallotsaresmallonions · 21/04/2026 17:26

No. I'd be thrilled to live a much nicer lifestyle with my husband though.

Sadly, I'm pretty certain there are no long lost, wealthy, elderly relatives coming our way.

Parsleyforme · 21/04/2026 17:31

If I had zero responsibilities and didn’t like my partner then maybe yes. But in general no, a few hundred thousand wouldn’t mean I’d never have to work again so I wouldn’t piss the person who would be giving me a reference

DesolatedCheese · 21/04/2026 17:35

No. I have financial autonomy - indeed, I financially and physically support my disabled partner.

Equally, I left my ex husband when I was unemployed and penniless with no regrets at all. He was an arse and it was all worth it. Food bank and begging from priests was better.

I tend to survive either way and I'm fucking excellent at being poor long term. I don't choose my life by financial reasons. Sometimes it has bitten me in the arse, but life is better when I focus on feelings.

ClaredeBear · 21/04/2026 17:39

No. If I think about winning the lottery, he’s in the vision.

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