How old are you and what has life taught you ?

[TeddyBearCottage]

I’m 48

lessons I’ve learnt

what others hate in you in what they lack in themselves

what they accuse you of is what they are guilty of

most men want women to be of service to them
support their work, give them children care for them
if the woman gets sick
most men can’t hack it
because she’s no longer providing for him

alot of people are selfish
but also a lot of people are kind

look for the good

listen to your gut

develop your intuition

live life with intregrity it’s priceless

try and make the world a little bit better for your existant

you matter you
not not here just to be a mum daughter wife and friend
your dreams matter
your hopes matter
your fears matter
you matter

live life

feel the fear and do it anyway

you want it look back on your life when your old, if hopefully you live that long
feeling thankful you experienced all you could in this life

Never rely on anyone.

always be able to support yourself financially.

age 57

Be self sufficient financially (including any children you have - never assume anyone else will give you a penny).

Don’t pick up the first drink.

I’m 56

I’m 39 and Mary Schmich’s hypothetical graduation speech pretty much sums it up for me: https://ofwhiskeyandwords.com/wear-sunscreen-by-mary-schmich/

Perhaps in particular - absolutely the sunscreen!

I agree with all of OP's points, other than this one. 'what others hate in you in what they lack in themselves'.

Mine would be:

1. Don't trust men. Love them, yes. But never put too much trust in them.

2. Don't bother trying to be like everyone else. The way you are is fine. Even if it isn't fine for others, if you're happy in yourself, life will be OK.

3. If you ever have any extra money, save it.

4. There is no value in possessions. Don't hang on to too much stuff.

5. Always look at men through a lens of what THEY want from you. Don't ever risk thinking they have your best interest at heart. They have their own best interest at heart.

6. As a result of 5, make sure you put what YOU want first. Because men always will do this.

7. It will feel as if the world is full of out going, 'look at me' types. But this isn't reality. There are just as many introverts around, they're just not as obvious. But they're usually a lot more interesting than the attention seeking extroverts.

8. Try to focus on what you do have rather than what you don't. A lot of people will affect this focus because there are a lot of people unhappy with their lives/what they have. But you don't have to be affected by this perspective and you'll be a lot happier if you can see the positives in your life.

9. Value your own space and peace and quiet. It might be what keeps you sane.

Mid /late 70s .
What I've mainly learnt is that
It. Doesn't.Matter.

55 here. I've learnt to take what people say with a pinch of salt, their actions mean far more.

Almost 60. I think I've concluded that health is our main wealth.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Be grateful for little things.

I trust women as much as I trust men. Schemers, plotters, people who talk behind my back, people who had no faith in my abilities, they've been both genders.

It's almost never worth the fight. The energy you will consume fighting will not get you what you want. And if you get it, you'll find the fight took more than you bargained for.

Better to put your energy into another way of getting what you want or need.

I'm 77 and I've learnt to focus on today and not worry about the future. Difficult, I know, but after years of worry I've found that this philosophy works.

I agree with @Weirdconditionaltense that having good health is worth everything.

I am 50 my favourites :

80% of sucess is turning up- Woody Allen

"Dripping water hollows out a stone not through force but through persistance" - Ovid

Nearly 40.

Being supportive and generous to friends and family won't make them love you more.

Gratitude is a powerful tool!

Some people are messed up and/or miserable beyond help. Thats not your fault and it's not your responsibility to fix, despite the lessons you learned growing up.

Other people might judge you but that's their problem. Don't let their toxic attitudes affect how you feel about yourself.

The more insecure I feel about myself, the more I seem to attract judgement and negativity from others. It's a negative cycle.

Often the smallest things add up to the greatest contentment in life. A really good potter around in the sunny garden. A well made cup of tea. A chat with a friendly neighbour. Getting into a really good TV series or book.

I am the kind of person who attracts men who want to be looked after. They love me for what I do for them and how I make them feel, rather than loving me for who I am. Now that I recognise this, I have broken the pattern.

Constant anxiety from unresolved trauma gave me IBS (UPF-heavy diet probably didn't help!).

I'm 34. As well as lots of the things on here:

• People care way less than you think. Don't overthink shit and worry about causing offence, what people might say. Don't over analyise people's words and actions.
• Humans by nature are selfish, we are all in our own lives and bubbles. People will be thinking about you way less than you think. And that's a good thing.
• Just be yourself and take people at their word, mean what you say as well. Life becomes much more straightforward!

38: a huge number of women, including me up until mid 30s think they are broken but are undiagnosed autistic.

If you haven't achieved much in your 20s your story is only just beginning. By the end of your 30s your life and trajectory will look wildly different.

Education is power. Do that Open University degree. It will open doors.

My main life lessons at aged 58 are:

1. Don’t put your trust in a man. Understand that they are inherently selfish and sex driven and will lie as and when it suits to meet their needs.
2. As a woman you do not need a man for security, to comply with societal expectations or to keep you safe, which they won’t do anyway. The only safety and security in life is to be independent.
3. Never get married, or if you really must then first understand the legal and financial implications it brings if and when you need to divorce, which statistically is extremely likely to happen.
4. Women have been so effectively conditioned over the centuries that most will put higher value on a man giving them attention than any sisterhood so be aware that they will readily enable men to screw you over by joining them in adultery and then standing by fully believing whatever the man says about you being totally to blame as the “crazy ex” whilst he blatantly and merrily treats you like crap. Being ripped off by two ex-husbands and one ex- best friend has taught me 1-4.
5. Wear factor 50 spf everyday and reapply it throughout the day. Melanoma has taught me this.
6. Start looking after your neck in your twenties. Looking in the mirror now has taught me this.

55
The only person you can rely on is yourself.

I'm 57.

Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter.

If you have even one friend you could call in the middle of the night and they would come, you are fortunate beyond words.

The world won't fall apart if you don't have regular hair appointments/ have manicures/wear make up.

You can always start again, no matter how old you are.

Start moisturising young. Look after the basics first- your health and your skin. And your feet.

Buy the best you can afford. It's irrelevant if other people's best costs more than yours.

Be your own best friend.

I’m 54 and….

I really don’t care what people think of me, it’s not important.

I will never fully trust anyone.

Climbing the greasy corporate pole is pointless (been there, done that), there are far better things to do in life.

Early 60's.

Gut instinct and intuition should not be ignored.

Close friends can smile at you and lie through their teeth at the same time.

Some people really want you to be their friend, but only because you have something to offer, or can be of use to them.

Perfectly ordinary strangers can turn from indifferent to spitting hatred in a split second.

Have the courage to say 'I don't know'.

Have the confidence to say 'No' if you don't want to do something.

I’m 43. You can have whatever you want.

suffering is neither noble nor inevitable

do what you will if it harms none

53

Don't buy the second cheapest of anything- it's nearly always the worst value.

Don't skimp on beds and shoes because if you're not in one you're in the other

Not all friends have to be "ride or die". Good acquaintances and "situationships" can be just as life enhancing.

Best way to get over one man is to get under another.

Happiness takes effort and planning- it's not the natural human condition.

The past is for reference not residence. Move on.

It's more advantageous to have the crowd than be the best.

I'm 48 and I'd say:

People who compare themselves to others are miserable, and people are so different from one another that you can never really compare yourselves to anyone else anyway

Don't waste time and energy responding to people on the internet who seem determined to misunderstand you - they'll have forgotten all about you 5 minutes later, even if they've been really nasty to you

Similar to that, most people IRL aren't thinking about you or anything you've said or done

Generally, you can trust other people

People are rubbish at realistically assessing risk or understanding statistics

If you've made a mistake that will impact on someone else, 'fess up ASAP - don't try to cover it up or resolve before you've asked the affected parties as their response may not be what you'd do

If you disagree with someone's way of doing things, point out all the benefits of an alternative approach, don't focus on what you think is wrong with their idea - people only get defensive otherwise.

Im 52.

Life is not fair.

Nobody respects a doormat.

The moral highground is overrated.

90% of small business owners do not understand how to account for VAT.😂

Mine is basically not to rely on anyone. People generally use you until you are of no use to them any more. Being a loyal friend counts for nothing.

50

• Very few things are black and white. Most are shades of grey.
• Follow your instincts, even if you don't understand what or why they're telling you.
• When people show you who they are, believe them.
• Look after your health while you're young - you'll pay for it later otherwise.
• You never know what goes on between two people when they're alone.
• Looks can absolutely be deceiving.