Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Kids football

30 replies

jimmybiscuit · 20/04/2026 12:52

Hi all!
Just wanted to get some outside perspectives.
My son is 9 and plays football for our local team. Last week he had an over night school trip so was tired and a bit emotional for the match on Saturday, but was looking forward to playing. There are a couple of kids on his team who are better players, but also quite greedy and won’t pass, will take shots when they should pass etc.

For the match this weekend their manager was unable to come along, so a couple of dads helped. One of the children was a lot worse than normal (his dad was helping), not just refusing to pass, but screaming at other kids, at one point he screamed at my son to tackle someone and grabbed his arm and tried to force him.
After the match my son said he wants to change teams because of this boys behaviour. We agreed to sleep on it and think about it later. So I haven’t mentioned it again.
DP thinks the kid will always be like this until he is stood up to, ie our son should shout back 🙄
The manager has sent out an availability check today for this weekend, for a friendly. I want to drop him a message and say something along the lines of “I’ll need to let you know when DS is home from school as when you weren’t there Saturday child X was very aggressive towards the other boys and made DS want to leave the team” obviously with a bit more thought than that.
What do we think? Leave it or mention to the manager

OP posts:
Original poster
jimmybiscuit · 20/04/2026 15:54

Silverbirchleaf · 20/04/2026 15:13

It’s quite usual for players to swop teams over summer. Maybe encourage your son to carry on until the end of season party , if they have one, but say you consider moving if continues to be unhappy.

Since I have picked him up he has agreed to play the friendly on Saturday, but said it’s his last match, so I can see what he says after that. They don’t have an end of season celebration unfortunately

OP posts:
Original poster
jimmybiscuit · 20/04/2026 15:57

GrillaMilla · 20/04/2026 15:29

From my own experience (my son played from age 4 through to 15) it depends on how you think the coach will react. Kids football can be really brutal. If they're mates with the dad you've no chance. Also sad to say but it's taken more seriously when it comes from dad, rather than 'mother'.

I would mention to the coach but ask him if he could have a general chat with the team about respect etc. If it continues and your son is getting very upset and refusing to go, I would definitely complain more vigorously.

It gets worse as they get older I found.
Swearing, aggressiveness, tantrums...and that's just the parents (I'm not kidding).

Thank you, I will raise it with him. Yes I can see it can be seen that dads “understand” better 🙄
The manager is good at dealing with things generally with this lad in particular, I remember one match where he was especially selfish and the manager said to his dad “today we’re going to focus on passing, they’re getting a bit selfish and missing chances where they should pass” the dad just nodded along and the manager then went “X and X especially” naming his child as one of the problem. So I am hopeful.

OP posts:
Hito · 20/04/2026 17:11

All coaches should have gone through FA safeguarding training. The dads that stepped up for that game may have not gone through the training and missed the opportunity to nip this behaviour in the bud. It's a team game and they should be coached in having respect for team members, officials and indeed opposition team members and coaches. I'd keep an eye on it and see if the behaviour coninues when the coach is in residence if it does then I'd have a polite word.
All clubs should have a CWO (Club Welfare Officer) in place. Name and tel number should be on the club website. These are the club members that deal with safeguarding issues within the club, the FA and outside agencies like NSPCC, police etc if needed.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9 year olds Families Football
Original poster
jimmybiscuit · 20/04/2026 17:58

Hito · 20/04/2026 17:11

All coaches should have gone through FA safeguarding training. The dads that stepped up for that game may have not gone through the training and missed the opportunity to nip this behaviour in the bud. It's a team game and they should be coached in having respect for team members, officials and indeed opposition team members and coaches. I'd keep an eye on it and see if the behaviour coninues when the coach is in residence if it does then I'd have a polite word.
All clubs should have a CWO (Club Welfare Officer) in place. Name and tel number should be on the club website. These are the club members that deal with safeguarding issues within the club, the FA and outside agencies like NSPCC, police etc if needed.

This is really helpful, thank you

OP posts:
OwnBrandButter · 20/04/2026 17:59

jimmybiscuit · 20/04/2026 15:53

I’m not sure, I feel like that would either be the coach or a the parent who is secretary.. she is very approachable I’ll have a look at this

Show quote history

While the coaches should have guarding training there should really be someone other than the coach for obvious reasons.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread