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Feeling like a failure after repeated career setbacks.

3 replies

TheFarmatLittletown · 20/04/2026 10:38

I have posted in 'work' but this board is much more active.

I am in my early forties.

Left university in 2008 with a Master's degree, having been told there was a position for me at the university once completed. Never materialised long story but essentially I was just met with 'ah yes, about that, well no'.

Went to work for a medium sized business in the water industry, worked my way up to supervisor but then was met with a boss who hated me and was eventually sacked while off sick with work-related stress due to her. She was horrendous and I never did work out why I was so hated by her.

Did some other 'just a job' sort of jobs while trying to find something else.
Retrained in a different industry. Went into the civil service. Very similar thing happened to in my first job, manager was just awful to me plus the hours just killed me (6 on four off all different shifts). I kept going for promotion and applying for different jobs within, related to my degrees but nothing ever happened. Eventually after a few years I was very burnt out and after being blamed for something that was very much not my fault (they actually took me into a side room and screamed at me because I followed a supervisor's advice, among other things) I was just done. So I left.

Went to work for another company in the field I had retrained in, all nights. Was okay, but not enough money and every other weekend. not ideal but okay, I kept looking for something better.

Then I landed a job tutoring adults in my (newer) field which I loved. Thought I had finally got my 'calling' and would work my way up, great. Was late thirties by this point.

Company went bust within a few months.

Went freelance doing the same thing. Such hard work, jobs few and far between, not enough money for the hours. But, I love teaching and would've happily continued if the work had kept coming in, it just didn't.

When a contract ended I found another job again in my newer field, same as the night one but days. Four days a week. £26,000. I am never one who feels I am 'owed' something but this job is just so boring and just 'nothing'. I have been here two years. No scope for promotion other than management which feels like it will be not worth it. Not much more money for a lot more work, I don't like the company or their ethos and want to do something more meaningful and use my hard-honed skills. I am basically a glorified admin assistant and the money is rubbish.

I feel I have worked so hard and have nothing to show for it. I am embarrassed. I am more than halfway through my working career now, but I feel like I want to give myself just one last shot. But I can't afford to retrain (again).

I have some bits of freelance work that come and go and just about keep a roof over my head. I have a sort of loose plan to go self-employed or mostly self-employed and reduce my hours at the job I do now. But I hover over job sites, looking and hoping something perfect just pops up again, I would leave 100% to go back into fulltime tutoring as I was doing before but those jobs are like gold dust.

I am wondering if anyone has been in a similar position or has any advice or words of wisdom? I know a lot of it has been just, unlucky, wrong place wrong time type of thing but I can't help feeling like an utter failure.

OP posts:
ChemistryTutor1 · 20/04/2026 21:20

I have no wisdom or advice, but just sending some love your way.
Sometimes amazing things happen to unworthy people and sometimes fantastic people just don't get the breaks they need. It's not helpful to measure your worth against what is 'expected'. There's so much more to life.
I hope you find some comfort and resolution soon. Chin up in the meantime and try to appreciate the small stuff x

ChemistryTutor1 · 20/04/2026 21:20

I have no wisdom or advice, but just sending some love your way.
Sometimes amazing things happen to unworthy people and sometimes fantastic people just don't get the breaks they need. It's not helpful to measure your worth against what is 'expected'. There's so much more to life.
I hope you find some comfort and resolution soon. Chin up in the meantime and try to appreciate the small stuff x

TheFarmatLittletown · 06/05/2026 12:33

Sorry didn't come back to the thread, and thank you @ChemistryTutor1 . I appreciate that. I am trying to reframe it in my head as a good thing, I mean my job is boring and unfulfilling and woefully underpaid BUT, I can do it standing on my head hungover with my eyes closed and as a result manage to do lots of other things during the working day. It's from home, no commute etc etc. Still looking for something else but trying to not be as down on myself about it. Whos' to say I couldn't have had a great job but then something went spectacularly wrong with it, or I had a horrible car crash on the way, or something etc etc....

OP posts:
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