Debt, anxiety and spending issues: is an IVA the right option?

[emanresuchange]

I’ve got debts of about £11k.

I’m crap with money; both my parents were shocking and we never had money as kids. I’m now a homeowner (thanks to 3 close relatives bloody dying in fast succession) and earn £33k a year.

I’m massively spending. I’ve got CPTSD, agoraphobia and I’m spending £100s on Ubers to and from work.

I’m very unhappy for some reason, I’m spending to minimise anxiety and to make myself feel happy when in reality most of my life feels out of my control.

I don’t feel able to tell anyone in reality the mess that I’m in. I’ve just finished 20 weeks of counselling during which I was able to label the fact that I was horrendously sexually abused at a very young age, so I should be ‘better’ now but I’m not, and I don’t know how to make myself better.

I’m on the train to work and panicking once again, we don’t get paid sick days otherwise I’d be off.

all sorts of thoughts are circling round my mind like how to make everyone see I’m not coping.

I rang a debt company yesterday and they said to -

Open a new bank account and get my wages paid into that - one that doesn’t have an overdraft
Take out an IVA

bur I’m not sure if that’s the best option, or if that’s like a nuclear bomb for my finances and ability to use credit if I ever needed it.

The thing is I could afford my repayments if I stop fucking about, my repayments and mortgage together aren’t any more than £600 so I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.

I’ve not told anyone in reality about any of this. Because it was my mum and dad I am 99.9% sure my family wouldn’t believe me if I told them, or would downplay it. And if I mention money, they’d want to go through my finances with a fine tooth comb and it would be humiliating.

I can ask my dad (though I don’t want to) but that’s loaded with all the other shit that is then have to put up with . I don’t want to be dependant on that man.

Please slow down and take specialist free advice from a reputable source. Martin Lewis has some really good advice on debt crisis.

I suggest speaking with Christians Against Poverty. You don't have to be a Christian, but they are trained to listen and help with the issues around debt not just to tell you how to deal with the debt.

£11k doesn't sound like the end of the world given your salary. I wouldn't jump straight to an IVA, I would try to get a reasonable plan in place for repayment and to get your spending under control without an IVA. IVA have long term consequences so you need to be sure it is right for you.

Please see your GP too.

I’m in somewhat of a similar situation to you. My debt repayments are £300 a month and theoretically I should have £400 a month (after savings!) that is leftover to put towards repayments.

I am giving myself one more month. I want to see if I can genuinely rein in my spending and just give myself a chance before I do this.

Get in touch with Stepchange rather than commercial debt advisors. If possible an IVA should be avoided and they will help you try and achieve that.

Hi Op, former insolvency advisor here. Nothing is going to work until you have your spending under control. So that is what you need to do. A good method is to.pay out everything you need to at the beginning of your financial month. Then you can only spend what remains. Move your standing orders and direct debits as a first.