What's first to 'go' when you're stressed and life is too busy?

[HouseOfNoRegrets]

When you're experiencing periods of prolonged stress or sustained over-functioning, do you find that certain aspects of your self-care or well-being management and routines go out of the window?

If so, in what order?

What goes first?

And what precious non-negotiables do you refuse to let go of even when everything is falling down around your ears?

I've been up to my eyeballs since the 10th; busy all day on labour intensive high-stakes projects and working very late at home every night, and I'm noticing the following slips-ups:

Not sleeping enough, forgetting all about sensible eating, no exercise, not washing off eye-makeup as thoroughly as I probably ought to, forgetting to take my supplements, wearing constant top-knots instead of 'doing my hair' and falling off the radar of my friends and relatives. Not an exhaustive list, but still.

I always do a smashing job of cleaning my teeth, though.

Sensible eating is always the first to go, I stress eat.

Then socialising /chatting, I'm Asd and my brain just gets full and I can't do random chats with family, neighbours etc.

Hair definitely, it only really takes 15 mins so I don't know why it's an ordeal.

Then tidying or anything past basic cleaning. Quite good keeping on top of laundry.

I always shower, brush teeth, apply some make up.

I hope it all improves for you soon. I hate periods like that.

I definitely snack when stressed /srruggling. I try to prioritise sleep, exercise and home cooked meals even when stressed as I know they are good for me. I do drop stuff like book club, extra school expectations (attending the trip, coffee morning, donating stuff) I will get food shop delivered rather than go shopping and possibly let DS have extra screen time.

Yes, I always seem to keep on top of the laundry too. Thankfully. The cooking stays too, even if simplified or batch-cooked. But I definitely begin snacking in between meals.

My hair in its natural state is quite high maintenance and it was the decision to put off washing it today, as I was getting ready for bed last night, which prompted me to write the thread, 'hearing' myself rationalise not washing my hair!

The nature of my work means I go through very predictable cycles of stressful periods when workload skyrockets. There is little one can do to prepare for those times in advance to lessen the load, it's just accepted as a feature of the profession. It just means that, if other aspects of life also require extra attention at the same time, there is a definite squeeze. At present, I find myself in a bit of a perfect storm of admin-heavy, mental-load intense and physically demanding big life events on top of my work cycle. This time next month things are likely to have calmed down.

Since the 10th? Of April? Your friends and relatives notice if you don't contact them for a week? Crikey that's a lot of pressure in itself.

When I'm stressed/extra busy the following things happen:

Dh has to live off Charlie Brigham ready meals which means I spend copious amounts in Waitrose.

I don't bother doing my nails. By that I mean trimming ragged cuticles and taking off the chipped manicurist and replacing. Plus filing. So chipped and messy nails.

Hair is every two days.

I don't wear make up when I'm too busy at work.

I prioritise sleep over all things including my children and husband!

However:

I always always workout. I have a gym in the garage and always prioritise my weights. It's my absolute favourite part of the day. It's me as an adult 'playing' and I love it.

I always eat healthily. I eat less too when I'm stressed.

Wow! Those are two things I wish I could emulate: prioritising working out and stress making me feel like eating less. I worked my way through a bowl of raisins while working last night -just why? At the time it seemed absolutely necessary.

It’s when I use dry shampoo instead of washing my hair and am
too busy at work to eat or too tired after to eat. I do prioritise sleep though.
The house is a bit of a shit tip after a mad few weeks though.

Another one here who forgets to eat when stressed and then snack because my hunger goes from 0 to 60 later on. Any kind of exercise or skincare routine goes out the window, as do supplements and healthy smoothies. Of course all this actually makes stress worse.

Exercise and healthy eating

Always shower and do a good job on my teeth though

Healthy eating definitely- I just eat sugary carb snacks
but always moisturise day and night
and do the laundry

Eating sensibly. It’s not a catastrophe because some healthy habits are baked in, but it could definitely be better, when I’m busy. I tend to skip cooking veg if I’m in a hurry

Housework! Myself I can still make presentable but the house can just gather dust.

Hoovering or cleaning floors . I just wipe stuff up . Clean laundry piles up , ironing can go fuck off. Food shopping as I will try and manage with whatever is around .

Exercise and healthy eating. Which is utterly ridiculous and should be absolute non negotiables as how am I supposed to function without decent food and the exercise that is vital for my mental health??

I will work to change this!

over the last year I’ve dropped the rope a lot at home, intentionally, and leave other people to sort out their own problems. I don’t rush yo
solve everything immediately, I just offer platitudes 😂 or a very helpful “oh, what will
you do about that?” This has freed up
a lot of my bandwidth

Sleep. Not intentionally, but it suffers.

Don’t wear make up all all is my advice

Things that go:
My appetite.
My sleep.
My ability to get out of bed.
Keeping in touch with friends and family, though I rarely cancel existing plans.
My resilience and patience.

I make myself go running.
Cleaning ramps up.
Work is always a stable that I am grateful to lose myself in.

I'm not even thinking about cleaning or housekeeping at this stage -it'll keep.

Just taking a tea break and, inspired by responses, washed and moisturised my face. It's a good thing I have to go to an actual workplace and am not in a WFH role, or I'd be a troll at this point.

Definitely - hair (curly hair now just an updo and not styled); decent meals for kids ie stop don’t home made and say make yourself a sandwich after school; walking (drive everywhere)

when really bad - eating (have thyroid issues so don’t ever lose weight just save money!); spend hours aimlessly driving in my car to avoid housework; Friendships ie don’t organise fun stuff

Never compromise tidiness / cleanliness

Reading falls off the radar, then hair washing, then gym. I stop wearing make up.

Sleep stays and eating meals as a family although in between I stress eat like crazy.

I read the title of your thread incorrectly, @HouseOfNoRegrets 🤦
I thought you were asking for everyone's "go to" things/strategies when they are stressed.

Would that be helpful to you to almost pre-empt these stressful periods in advance, and plan for them?
Does taking magnesium help you sleep?
Could you batch cook some meals when you're cooking now, and stock the freezer for when the stress hits & then you've only got to reheat them?
If the stressful period is prolonged & the state of your house is bothering you, could you afford a one off clean to get you back on track? Some cleaners offer this on an ad hoc basis.

Eating healthily. I just eat crap. And barely anything, no proper meals.

Washing hair. Though I barely do that anyway.

I never have time to exercise anyway, so that’s just permanently gone. Ditto keeping in touch with or seeing friends/family.
I think as a ft working parent with zero help from family and zero money to afford help/shortcuts, I’m just permanently stressed and permanently in survival mode.

I do always have a quick shower everyday. And always drink green tea. So that’s something I guess.

One thing I have found really helpful recently is to play 8d or binaural beat music through earphones, whilst reading or doing mundane tasks. Not sure how it works from a scientific point of view, but it really helps.

Everything 🤣 I have a chronic illness, not as debilitating as others but it knocks me down often. I have a cleaner, an ironing lady and a Gardener all to keep me on top of the basics alongside working term time. A robot hoover keeps the floors semi decent, weekly Ocado shop keeps us fed, the ironing lady means I change my bedding weekly regardless of how I’m doing. Gardener means I never have to think of cutting the grass and my cleaner is a lifesaver so keeps the kitchen and bathroom presentable no matter what and she is a friend as well so there’s no shame in my house looking a bombsite if I’m having a bad week. The teenager is pretty decent and will cook and feed himself. The husband will feed himself and me if I ask him to if he’s home from sea.

all these things mean when life kicks me like today I’ve been able to just feed the washer and dryer and sit on the sofa and drink tea and doze. Husband cooked lunch, teenager tidied kitchen after but they both have blinkers on when it comes to cleaning so unless I dictate exactly what to do which is more draining I just leave it and do it when I’m better apart from the loo. I have a hissy fit if the loo is not clean when I need it so they have learnt eventually how to clean that 🤣.