Insults and judgments

[lemonpaint]

Yesterday I was on a thread where I got called an old trout, that I had low empathy and was small minded. Amongst other insults.
I'm none of those things, not even remotely.
I wasn’t unkind or rude.
Yet a poster decided via reading my comments that was how she perceived me.
It is interesting how badly some people read other people, how wrong they are in their judgments.
It is not only on MN but in real life and face to face too.
When a person is obviously kind, pleasant, smart to name a few attributes, yet there’s always someone who sees that person as the complete opposite and dislikes them or challenges them immediately.
I’ve seen it so many times and been on the receiving end too.
Why, just why?
Isn't it easier to be just simply nice? And why wouldn’t you?
Name changed for this post.

Tone is lost in text. And we interpret everything through the lens of our own experiences and biases. Parts of your post read to me as judgemental. We don't know each other, I have no idea of your personality. I can disagree with you. I hope to do so without direct insult. While I think that we should all strive to be polite and name calling is not ok (the old trout comment is just rude for the sake of it and utterly meaningless), saying you had low empathy or were small minded are not necessarily insults. They were just how someone interpreted your personality from what you wrote. I don't know what you wrote, maybe they were correct, or maybe not.

I do not like "being nice" in the passive stereotypically feminine way it's often meant. In the service of silencing opinion. What's the point of gathering in person or online to have discussions if we don't share our opinions and disagree with each other.