Birthday gifts for MIL?

[Teawithfrenchtoast]

I’m really struggling to think of a birthday gift for MIL. We’re not that close and I don’t think I know her likes and dislikes very well. I know she loves her garden and gardening, and have bought David Austin rose’s previously. I have tanned the backside out of flower deliveries for her, so don’t want to get flowers again. We bought a spa day voucher once but she didn’t use it. She doesn’t like scented candles or diffusers. I’m really stuck for ideas! I’ve asked DH a few times and get the standard “I don’t know” response. Any ideas?

Leave it to DH regardless, she’s his mother. If you must get something yourself maybe a nice food hamper

@Teawithfrenchtoast , I’m a mother in law to two lovely women and I’m extremely lucky and grateful that we all get on well.
What stood out in your question for me was that you say you’re not close. I wonder how she feels about that. You say she likes gardens, could you bear to take her out to a local lovely garden, pack a simple pic-nic and spend some time with her? if I were her there would be nothing you could give me that would delight me more.

A gardening magazine subscription

Why are you defaulting to thinking of a gift. Is your DH thinking too?

Get her a garden centre voucher job done you hardly know her, her son probably says he is too important busy to think about it.

Let her son do all the thinking and buying then.

There is a long back story to why we’re not close. She has been quite unstable over the years and pretty nasty at times, so I’ve distanced myself. I’m still pleasant and amenable when I see her or buy gifts for her.

I do not have a bad relationship with my MIL but all present buying for her is left to DH, and is signed as jointly from us. Can you leave it to your husband? As in, very clearly tell him 'If you do not buy something for your mother (or tell me explicitly what to buy) then she will not receive a birthday gift from us this year' and then leave it at that?

It's only if you specifically want to get her a gift yourself that I would be bothering with anything more than that tbh. Have you had a look at Moonpig or Bloom & Wild? You can send a card and add on letterbox brownies/flowers (I know you don't want to do flowers, but better than nothing) or a food hamper, little bottle of fizz. Just a token to show you're thinking of her.

These gloves are so buttery soft and lovely for pruning. They also make a shorter version https://www.longacres.co.uk/gardening-products/gloves-and-footwear/gloves/gold-leaf-tough-touch-gloves-ladies/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17180907007&gbraid=0AAAAAD9u_hHMHFYbPWGnqe5VYlVqaRaAD&gclid=Cj0KCQjwkYLPBhC3ARIsAIyHi3Sy8JuuHhoI6NvywnZrHpu9FRc7vbgir4zZTdIuHEwdCUNNdPlsRq8aAipjEALw_wcB

-Bird bath/bird feeder
-Tickets to a local garden/flower show
-Voucher to local garden centre

I’m fond of MIL but in 30 years it’s never occurred to me to buy her a separate present! DH handles that!

As you husband has not passed away this is clearly his job not yours to worry about.

Thank you for all the ideas, I think I’ll go with an afternoon tea hamper. Just to clarify, I have no issues with the buying MIL gifts, I buy all the family gifts for my family and DH’s side of the family - it’s the way we have always done it. DH is not too lazy or too important, it’s just always been something that I’ve done. I just find some people harder to buy for, that’s all. Thanks for all the gift help!

If he can’t even considering helping with ideas for his own mum then he is lazy! Afternoon tea hamper sounds like a good idea though

I’d look Mon the Sarah Raven website

@Teawithfrenchtoast , ah I see. Maybe buy her a couple of entry tickets to some nice gardens then.

My mum is hard to buy for. I often buy her one of those postal afternoon teas. The Cornish hamper company are very reliable and always nice. Lots of offers too

If she loves gardening 6 bags of well rotted garden manure 😂

I agree with the suggestion to leave it to DH to sort out, he knows her likes and dislikes better anyway. If he never comes up with any ideas, maybe you can do something of a sentimental value like a photo book or a photo album with her photos if there are pictures from her childhood and teenage/college years? You can enhance them if necessary (here is a guide for that if you need it) and then reprint for a new album.

I would be utterly delighted with that!