At the end of your visit to family....

[mdinbc]

At the end of your visit to family, what amount of effort to you make to clean/tidy?

I recently stayed at DD's for a week. Had my own bedroom and bathroom (toilet used by kids, but not the shower). At the end of the week, leaving for an early morning flight, I stripped the bed, left all bedding and towels ready for laundering. Quick wipe of sink. Did not do a proper clean of toilet/shower.

Do you consider this a proper amount of cleaning?
Would you have just made the bed, or done a full cleaning? What's the norm for your family visits, and what do you expect, or resent?

That's what I'd do. Strip bed and if private bathroom quick wipe around. Nothing in communal areas.

When I stay with my mum and dad I also have an ensuite and I:

• strip the bed, put the bedding in the wash with towels and remake the bed with fresh sheets
• empty the bathroom bin
• replenish whatever I have used from the central supply - i.e. if I've gone through a toilet roll I grab another couple and put them in the cupboard
• do a squirt around the sink, shower and surfaces and wipe down - and bung some bleach down the loo

I usually only stay for a few days - less than a week - so no need for deeper cleaning or hovering as my mum will do that once a month regardless of whether anyone stays or not... particularly as the cat likes to go and have a mooch around and shed everywhere!

I don't do housework in the main areas, but I often cook a meal and put the dishes in the dishwasher, make countless cups of tea (and make my dad a hot water bottle!) and often feed the cat. If me being there coincides with bin day then I take out the bins and recycling for them.

I'd ask if they want the bed stripped - if I'm not washing the bedding straight away, I'd prefer it to stay on the bed than clog up the basket.

Strip bedding and wash; Hoover and dust plus give bathrooms quick clean. Elderly parents so feel obliged to leave house as clean as it was upon our arrival.

I strip/remake the beds we’ve used, no ensuite at my mums, but I make sure when I’ve had a shower I wipe everything down/leave then bathroom dry & tidy, I offer to wash up/load the dishwasher and tidy the kitchen after meals (she likes to cook)

I will say since having my own children I’m also just more aware in general of making sure I tidy up after them throughout our stay (toys away, drinks not left around)

I do nothing, I'm the guest. They do nothing if they come to mine, they're the guest.

(I am very aware that today may be the day I learn I'm a terrible guest!)

ETA - i do offer to help cooking & washing up though, but would usually refuse similar help at mine save for something like opening a bottle of wine or setting table.

Always strip bed and fold plus out towels on top, never leave rubbish in a room.

My Mum used to always give me a little packed lunch to take back in the car, I miss her.

I only stay with two different friends and I ask them as I’m not sure if I’d like someone to start stripping beds in my house. One didn’t like me to do anything as her cleaner does it and the other one said I can strip beds, empty bedroom bin if I want to but really there is no need. I did and placed in a pile with towels I’d used and I fully cleaned my ensuite.

I hate it when people strip the bed. It’s not actually helpful to me unless I’m going to put them in the wash the moment my guests have left, which I’m probably not.

When I stay at someone else’s house I make the bed and leave the room as I found it, but that’s all. If there was an en suite I’d make sure the loo was clean and wipe any obvious splashes of toothpaste or whatever from the sink, but none of the people I stay with have an en suite.

I ask if they want me to strip the bed if I am visiting. I usually say no to anyone wanting to strip the guest bed...I will do it when I am ready to wash sheets.
At DM I help prepare meals and occasionally take one with me, will do any tidying in bathroom (she has en suite), run ubank /hoover if allowed ( !).
When DPs were younger they bought own sheets to "save me the trouble" and GPs did the same. I was baffled when I joined DH family and they didn't want me to take my sheets.....

Threads like this make me realise the differences in privilege.

I was reading all this thinking none of my family and friends have over night guests, then I realised it's probably because none of us have guest rooms/spare rooms. Or en suites!
So this is a non issue. 😳

Interesting thread!

I think if I was a guest in a friend or relatives home I would ask the host if they would like me to strip the bed. If I was hosting I'd probably rather do it myself when I was ready to wash a load of bedding tbh. But yep, non issue in my family or social circle!

It depends who I'm staying with tbh. I know my sisters both like the guest bed left so I don't strip it. No ensuite but I leave the bathroom clean every time I use it during a visit.
My stepmum is older, not in brilliant health and lives alone now (well apart from all the dogs and cats). I always strip the bed, leave bedding in utility room and give ensuite a decent clean. I know she appreciates it as she mentioned that I'm the only one who bothers!
I'd prefer friends or family just leave guest beds so I can do them when convenient. But tbh would also express gratitude if they did strip the beds, I can't get too worked up about it!

I have had loads of guests in my house - friends and family. No one has ever stripped the bed. Or asked to. I have never stripped the bed or even considered it at anyone else’s house either.

Best to check with your host I always feel. Recently back from my dd house in Melbourne, spent 3 weeks with her on and off. We clean bathroom after ourselves all the time, cook and do some shopping, and before we left checked with her about bedding etc.

I always ask if they want the bed stripped, only do it without asking if I'm confident they're OK with that. Make sure to leave everything tidy and the bathroom clean, but I don't get out their bathroom spray and give it a proper clean - I'd be mortified if someone did that at mine!

We strip beds once we are done using them. i usually clean as i go while staying with family or even in accommodation, so each day wipe over toilets and while showering give the shower a clean over, we help supply food that the kids will eat like cereals, milk and bread and any snacks and bits and bobs. We offer to sort dinners and we clean up after dinner each night. Wash up dishes as we go. We sweep floors daily. Tidy our space every time we use them. We try to make sure that our hosts have very little to do so they can also enjoy our company and join us on visiting the local area .

I ask what they'd like me to do, the response is normally "Oh, just leave it".

I don't expect guests to do anything to their rooms and would prefer they don't strip the beds.

i don't like people stripping the bed - i like to do it at my own pace

Me too.

I'd always make sure the bathroom was really clean though, including shower and loo.

Agreed. Worst I've had is having it dumped in the middle of the kitchen table "so I didn't have to bring it down"!

I’d just ask them what they’d like you to do.
I would prefer the bed to not be stripped because I’d rather put fresh on for a guest that have it made ready for weeks.

Why are so many people stripping beds in someone elses house? I'd make the bed and let the home owner decide their own washing schedule for their spare bed!
I would do a quick swoosh round in the bathroom but other than that not much else.

Because the OP asked what people do on family visits - most of us talk to our family to determine what they would prefer us to do! I stay with my parents so often that it's the routine for me to do all of the things I outlined, not least because they are in the late seventies/early eighties and it's much quicker and easier for me to sort out the bed. I don't want my elderly parent doing extra housework on my behalf and it definitely doesn't mess up their washing schedule, they wash their bedding on Saturdays and I am never leaving on a Saturday, I'm usually arriving.