Is it weird to want to tackle sentimental stuff first?

[Anoverbon]

Whether it’s decluttering or having to clear out a home following bereavement (which is where I’m at), advice seems to be to tackle the quick wins first and avoid the emotional elements such as photos until later.

Am I odd in wanting to do the ‘harder’ stuff first? It may mean that some of those things I want to tackle first will need to be looked at several times in the overall process. I want to savour those memories in the home I lived in, not after much of the home has been put in a skip/trips to dump/charity shop etc and is treated like a “project”. I think for me, timescales would be faster overall, but the recommended way seems so much harsher and will take longer to me.

Anyone else cleared out a home my way (or wanted to do it my way, but had to do it the opposite way as I think I will due to others involvement)?

When it comes to grieving there isn’t a rule book. I suspect leaving the sentimental things for lots of people means boxing it up and never dealing with it. This way you can sort the important stuff and the process is too much work leave the rest to a house clearness company.

I think it’s more that the sentimental stuff can be harder to sort/get rid of and if you’re in the immediate aftermath of grief you can make decisions you might not make otherwise and regret them, perhaps? Many people find it hard to handle memories up front and need time to make it manageable. If it isn’t going to cause you distress then do it whichever way you want.

Agreed.

Im sorry for your loss, OP. Do it whatever way works for you.💐

The fear is, getting stuck and making no progress.
DM is stuck. She keeps doing the same things, never quite managing it, and leaving it for another time.

I understand OP.

I generally struggle with sentimental items, but sometimes it feels as if some items are hanging over you - I understand just wanting the relief of that bit done.

I removed sentimental things from the house an sorted through them in my own house, where they would live to see how I felt about them away from the place they were associated with. Then I got a clearance company in who are also auctioneers. They sold a lot of things (including clothes), gave things they couldn't sell to charity and took the rest to the tip. The auction covered the price of the clearance and tip fees.

Photos and jewellery you take back to your own home along with handbags. Clothes next, and only keep stuff you are sure you will want. Then furniture and household stuff, but only keep furniture if it fits in with your own home, not if it will become a big shrine that you feel compelled to keep forever.

I took the things I cherished home. I found I couldn't concentrate on the sentimental things because I was surrounded by a sea of other stuff that felt like an insurmountable pile of work. I was just going to spend my days moving things from one place to another.

Something I found was that some of the things I thought were sentimental just looked like stuff when they were taken out of the context of the old family home. As though the location had given them false importance to me and really, they were just old record for example.

So sorry for your loss OP. I think the answer is to find a way that works for you.

I found it easier to alternate. I allowed myself to indulge in the emotional stuff, and tried to avoid overwhelm by switching to the quicker, ‘easier’ stuff. Getting the quicker stuff done allowed me to see that progress had been made. But I don’t think it can all be neatly partitioned into slow emotive stuff and quick unemotive stuff. Some of the stuff that triggered memories and emotions had to be dealt with very quickly to reduce my distress. Like the 100s of pounds-worth of beautiful fabrics in DM’s stash, all riddled with moth holes.

Sometimes you need to ‘reward’ yourself for coping, whether that’s by a happy trip down memory lane, or a brisk, successful clear-out of one shelf.

So sorry you have to be dealing with this.