Baby cries every time I put him down even for a second

[Catlady2202]

My gorgeous 5 week old will cry as soon as I put him into bassinet / crib or bouncer, if for example I need the loo or grab some water. I’ve read that it’s ok to let them cry for a short period ( less than 10 mins) to do essential tasks like eat but I feel so guilty and worry I’m causing him abandonment or attachment issues because the way he cries sounds so distressing. I think the longest I’ve let him cry is 7 minutes and I felt horrific.

we do baby wear when I’m doing laundry / cleaning but even then he cries when he first goes in.

i guess I’m just looking for peoples opinions - is letting him cry a few times a day whilst I do essentials bad for his development? Also if anyone has experienced this with their little one did they grow out of it? I know it’s totally normal being the 4th trimester but I still feel bad

Will he take a dummy?

It’s not physically possible to hold a small baby 24/7 so he will have to get used to being put down for short periods of time. Imagine if you’d had twins!!

It’s fine and crying for short periods of time won’t harm him.

DNiece was like this. Stopped at about 11 weeks. It's not the end of the world if they cry for a little bit, and you do actually have to go for a shit and get food sometimes.

You have to drink and go to the toilet so sorry sometimes the baby will cry, it’s just unavoidable. You are not doing anything wrong!

I’ve had two of these. It is hard. With my first I had a lot of help, I moved in with my Mum for a few weeks. But with my youngest I knew that if I put her in a bouncer in the bathroom, she’d cry but I could shower. To make dinner, I’d put her in a sling. I walked almost all day and got outside. They eventually (after months) calmed down but only as they got more independence and could crawl around.

Your baby will be absolutely fine if you put him down. He will cry but it’s just to bring you back to him.

Have you tried a baby Bjorn bouncer? (No need to buy new, try fbook) I had a baby just like this and that completely saved me!
Largely though that was just the hand I was dealt and had to let the house get messy during the day and lean into whatever support was available, including my husband doing most of the housework in evenings after work etc.
It does pass, little bit little it eases off
If bouncer fails, then yes you could pit him down when you absolutely have to put him down but I think stuff like laundry can wait. Things like needing two hands to use the toilet or open the oven then yeh. I used to shower before husband left in the morning or skip it and shower when he got home. Well until the bouncer 😍

Yes I really like the look of the baby bjorn bouncer! We were gifted a different brand of bouncer ( baby moov) or something but he doesn’t like it so not sure if the bjorn would be any different but it might be worth a try!

Some babies are like this. It’s ok to let them cry. My daughter cried a lot and I asked her when she was 16 if she remembered it and she didn’t. She doesn’t appear to have abandonment issues. It got better at about 12 weeks as she managed to self soothe by sucking her thumb.

My eldest did this, and she just had to cry sometimes. I couldn’t not eat, or not wee, or not put my shoes on to take her out! I always stayed in sight, I chatted/sang to her while making a quick sandwich or whatever. She knew I was there and smiling at her, and it wasn’t for long.

Mine lived in a stretchy wrap for the whole first 10 weeks of his life pretty much. The only thing I did with him not in there was shower!

Ah, this is such a tough time. My pfb was exactly the same and I remember how INTENSE every day was. One of my colleagues reframed it for me: he pointed out what a clever baby I had, and what an amazing survival instinct it was to need to be held all the time. In prehistory my friends' chilled babies would have been eaten by a tiger as soon as they were put down 🤣

Well done for getting this far, he'll settle down soon enough. You have a smart cookie on your hands!

Have a look at Nicolas Grimaldi on Facebook. He is an Osteopath that is giving advise on babies.

This is absolutely true.

Also : how good a mother are you?? He can't understand a word you say to him but he already knows that you are his protector, fighter and champion. He knows that you've got his back and are supremely useful to him and he won't let you go. That is awesome work on your part.

That said, regardless of his fears about sabre toothed tigers and eagles swooping down from the skies to gather him up, he will actually be ok sat in a bouncy chair for a bit while you wee, shower, wash your hands etc. Unfortunately you can't explain that to him, so you just have to demonstrate it, by doing exactly that and then returning to him, and he will in time register that this happens and that he doesn't instantly die.

I remember lying on the floor beside my kids a lot so they didn't necessarily associate being lying down with me walking away. I also put a t-shirt of mine on the bouncer chair like a cover so there was still the smell.
I feel for you. Those early days were torture.

I remember that stage well. DS was exactly the same. The thing is, OP, he’s still getting used to not being inside you. After a while I decided to just go with it. Unless I was actually in the shower or DH was holding him, I just kept him on me/in a stretchy wrap. It was a chilly spring, so I just decided to hibernate a bit. Read and watched a lot of old films and cuddled him. It was very temporary.

my 2nd son was like this, initially I thought it was because he had a cows milk allergy and I consumed lots of dairy. when we switched to dairy free formula, he was less screamy but still very clingy. he just loved being held. and now even at 4 he just wants cuddled and to be very close to me. it's funny now as I can understand his personality but it was so hard when he was a baby and I was sleep deprived. my little boy tells me he loves me every day and I think he just wanted to be with as a baby for comfort. if you have any relatives or friends that could take him for an hour or two so you can get a nap or a break that would help. my son hated the bouncer,etc. he did like the baby wearing thing though. this probably isn't helpful but it does get easier with time.