Dealing with disappointment after planned honeymoon cancelled

[Margot9]

I’m getting married in September and we had originally planned our honeymoon in Japan in October. We’ve been planning it for about two years and it’s something we’ve both been really excited about for a long time. It was going to be our first big long-haul trip together and we’d put a lot of thought into the itinerary, including things like staying in a traditional ryokan, visiting different regions and experiencing as much as we could.

Due to the current situation with travel and rising flight costs/ uncertainty, we’ve decided it’s probably not realistic to go ahead with that trip and are now looking at alternatives in Europe instead, like South Italy or Tenerife. Our second choice was the Maldives but DP thinks that will have to same travel issues as Japan.

I completely understand the reasons for changing plans but I’m finding it hard emotionally because Japan felt like a once-in-a-lifetime trip for us and I was really looking forward to it. I think I’m struggling with the disappointment of letting go of something we’d been building up for so long, even though I know we’ll still have a lovely honeymoon wherever we go.

Has anyone else dealt with having to change honeymoon plans quite late on? Can anyone recommend a nice European honeymoon destination?

I just booked return west coast US tkts for £480pp (11hr flight).

OP, for Japan, you usually have to book 11 months in advance for the best value flights, particularly if travelling in Spring or Autumn.

I do all of my travel booking at the last-minute. I might have ideas in mind for years, likely itineraries noted in advance, but I rarely book more than a month ahead. I find I get good offers by being last-minute and flexible.
If you can manage the ambiguity then hold on until nearer the time.
You could say to yourselves, we are setting these 2/3 weeks and we will do something. First choice is Japan with this itinerary. Second choice is Japan but with a tweaked itinerary. Third choice is Maldives (or wherever). Fourth choice is wherever.
Have the dates and budget prepared, then sit it out, knowing that you will be going somewhere but see where that will be nearer the time.

When for and what airline?

I think I agree with others that have said, go somewhere cheaper/closer now for a minimoon and then book Japan when possible for next year. Seems silly to do all that planning to not go at all.

That's what we are doing, Krakow after the wedding and then somewhere a bit more fancy for next year.

Bejaysus! Just book it! I write from deepest China and honestly you'll most likely be fine and if not you'll cope. Don't compromise on a dream!

OP is your fiance being stingy, by any chance? Sounds like he's making excuses because he doesn't want to spend the money.

This.

Worst case scenario and flights / plans get cancelled. That's what travel insurance is for.

Just have a low key honeymoon , maybe a city break and plan Japan for next year when Trump’s ridiculous tantrum has subsided. It’s not like you’re never going to go to Japan it’s just been postponed for a year.

Our honeymoon (also to Japan) got cancelled at the very last minute because of Covid. We ended up not going for another 4 years.... but we still went eventually.

If you really feel it's too risky to go at the moment (debatable but it's up to you guys how you feel about it), then the easiest way to deal with that is to say "it's not this year, but it's still gonna happen", and just save all the plans you've worked on to dust off in the future.

We had a small scale honeymoon which was actually lovely, and then we just pulled out our Japan plans including all the places we'd researched when it was finally time to go. We stayed in the same accommodation we were originally planning and did pretty much the same itinerary.

You definitely need to get stuff booked further in advance though. Don't leave it to the last few months, especially if you want to go in spring or autumn. Book a year ahead and get good insurance.

If you’re looking for an alternative to Japan why Tenerife? There are much nicer places in Europe to visit. What sort of European holiday would you like, city or beach holiday?

We travelled from the top of Portugal to the bottom last September for 3 weeks it was stunning, warm and very cheap!

We went to Porto, Coimbra, Lisbon, Evora, Sintra and Albufeira. Accomadation and flights was £2,500 and spends we took £3,000.

We travelled by train.

Ps...I don't think I'd cancel a trip to Japan 2 years in the planning!

I would be feeling relieved that making the safe decision didn't cost me any money, and grateful that I wasn't one of the many people actually caught up in the travel shitshow. I don't think you're unreasonable to worry at all.

Then I would book Japan for next year, hopefully with cheaper prices - or simply monitor the situation over the next few weeks - and remember that it'll be as special in 2027 as it would have been in 2026. Nothing you were looking forward to has been taken away except the timing.

Then I would get to planning an excellent October getaway in Europe - shoulder season is one of my favourite times to travel to Italy, Greece, Croatia etc. The weather is gorgeous (far better than in the summer), the food and scenery are still amazing and all the high season crowds have fucked off. You'll have entire beaches all to yourself.

If I was you I'd plan a week's luxury resort somewhere like Ikos in Greece and save the big trip for later when things are more settled.

Wed booked to go to Thailand about 14 years ago. Flights and hotels (about 6 locations ) all separate. 2 days before the islands flooded and tourists were evacuated. Managed to cancel our hotels but flight were still running to Bangkok as no flooding there. We literally flew into Thailand with a hotel booked for the first 2 days and nothing else. Well it was an adventure! This was before you could use your phone to book everything online. There was a lot of winging it.

What is your budget?

We had a big trip planned but Covid happened. It’s not the type of trip we can do, for a number of reasons. We had said we’ll go again (in about 10 years). To get over the initial disappointment we ordered some things from that country and made a traditional meal from there.

However, for your situation the minute you book something you get travel insurance and pay on a credit card. Depending on when it is cancelled depends on if the airline refunds you, you claim on insurance or claim through your credit card.

If fuel cost rises, then of course airlines will charge more - wherever you are going. The costs gets passed on. If you’ve booked, they can rack it up 8%, If not they charge whatever.

Just book a UK break if the money is an issue.

2 years talking about the honeymoon but nothing booked?

Makes me wonder how long how long before you got engaged (10 years?) ; how long talking about the wedding (10 years?)

If you are this risk adverse and uncomfortable with anything out side your comfort zone, Japan is not the destination for you in the first place.

You don't sound like a couple who will push the boundaries of life.

This is so funny 🤣

Can you just have a lowkey honeymoon with the plan to do Japan for the 1st anniversary. Sometimes you feel flat after the wedding so having a this trip planned will be nice. It will also be memorable.

If you haven’t booked anything you haven’t lost any money - and as you were planning your honeymoon on the month after your wedding it doesn’t seem like you’re too worried about jetting off immediately after the wedding… why not just do something cheap and low-key like a long weekend in Paris, then just book the epic Japan trip for another time?

If it’s fuel prices and flight reliability you’re concerned about won’t they all be kind of the same, in the current situation?

Wasn't it on the news that 100 people missed a flight in Italy due to the new scanners? Things can happen wherever you go, you buy insurance and have a credit card in case you need to put an emergency flight or a night or two hotel on it.

Seems like a waste of time to plan a trip and then never book it.

Unless you're getting married in your 80s there's no reason you can't go to Japan at some later date.

Cinque Terre would be nice for a honeymoon, but I wouldn't go in the height of summer.

We went to Rome for our honeymoon. Absolutely loved it. Do something like that and put Japan on hold until next year? Have it as a one year anniversary trip.