Gift ideas for a friend in the early weeks after IVF

[Yoheresthestory]

I need ideas! It’s only 2-3 weeks in but a dear friend has had a successful ivf round finally. We live in different countries but I see her next week. She hasn’t told anyone but me and close family. I want to bring her something that makes her feel special but in the awful circumstance that this doesn’t work out, I don’t want it to be something that becomes a painful reminder. I’m thinking ginger tea, maybe socks with a funny pregnancy joke on them, a subtle bracelet that’s more about carrying a baby and being pregnant than the baby to come.

any other ideas of early pregnancy gifts? I had loads of babies but can’t for the life of me remember what was useful in the early days!

I really wouldn’t tbh until she’s further along

I don’t think I would get her anything, not this early on. Maybe treat her to a nice afternoon tea or lunch out to celebrate while you’re visiting?

It's not really a gifting scenario...

I also wouldn’t. Just bless her with your presence and a lovely time. Assuming all goes well for her, life is going to change for her and you won’t quite get time together like this again. Just make it a lovely time. Save it up for when the baby is here and send her a big hamper with treats for her.

Super well-intentioned, @Yoheresthestory but please wait (well) past the 12 week mark. I also did IVF and miscarried at 10w5d which was devastating and had the surgery two days later. IVF is a different ballgame of emotions and hope. Don't "commemorate" the occasion just yet. Ask her how she feels and what she'd like to do, though. Spoil her and her baby later. 😊
You sound like an amazing friend btw. 🩷

Celebrate the baby once It’s safely born. Enjoy time with your friend in the meantime.

I just want to add: take your cue from your friend. If she's super excited then share that with her and ask if she wants to do something to celebrate. 😊

I wouldn’t take her anything apart from some flowers, I’m sure she will appreciate your company and spending time with you more than anything. As well intentioned you may be, I don’t think a gift is appropriate in the circumstances, but take your cue from her and share in her excitement or discuss her apprehension x

It’s a really sweet thought OP but I’d avoid anything specifically pregnancy related, especially something like the joke socks, it is really early and they are exactly the sort of thing that would have broken me if I’d found them in a drawer or something after my loss.

A lovely bunch of flowers and a big hug when you see her would probably be perfect though. Something small that recognises even though early it is really good news and you’re happy for her. And if you did want to get her something like a bracelet I’d go for one more focused on your friendship as you’re obviously really close, Joma jewellery have some with really sweet sentiments on. Or a bottle of a fancy soft drink might be a nice idea too, something that’s a bit of a treat and recognises her pregnancy.

I hope you have a lovely time visiting your friend and congratulations to her.

I agree; I wouldn't get a baby-type gift this early. She's probably on progesterone which will be making her feel a bit rough (sore boobs; nausea; bloating - it basically mimics pregnancy symptoms but very early), and it will be playing havoc with her hormones, so it could very easily make her feel more rough.

FWIW, at my (successful) round of IVF recently the nurse at the clinic handed me 'celebratory' chocolates after embryo transfer and I had the strongest desire to throw them back at her - it really made me feel angry and upset that she was acting as if it was all plain sailing now when I knew quite well it wasn't. I am usually quite level-headed and I think it illustrates well how hormones and stress combine to make everything much more tense!

I refused the gift bag from my clinic when I went back for another round after my IVF loss. I thought, After you joking?
The bag has a onzie in it in NB size. I still have the bag given to me after the "success" that I lost. Can't open it. Can't throw it away.

I wouldn't get anything. Just let her know you are available if she needs to talk or be distracted. Unfortunately being pregnant does not mean she will have a baby.

That's absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry.

Thank you. 🩷 It was tone deaf and I need to write some feedback to the clinic. I did have a rainbow though. 🌈

I do understand everyone’s point which is why I didn’t want to get something about a baby or being a mum but something relevant to now. Thanks for the advice. I think I’ll bring some ginger tea and a big hug.

Flowers, or nothing but a big hug and the offer of a tea and cake in a nice cafe if she wants it. I’d even swerve the ginger tea - she might be being very careful about having anything new or different. At this stage she won’t quite want to look her pregnancy in the eye for fear it fails, and she might not even want to talk about it much. I’d just take your cue from her when you meet and match her energy about the pregnancy. It’s such a difficult time, and it’s great you'll be there to support her through part of this bit.