How do you avoid burnout?

[Imaginary86]

I started a new job a recently and feel like I may be feeling a bit of burnout. It’s over 40 hours a week, mixture of nights and days and I have two young children, one who hasn’t started school yet. I know literally millions of people work full time with kids but if you’ve felt like you’re struggling how do you cope with it?
Im agitated at everything and very snappy at the kids for no real reason which isn’t fair but I feel overwhelmed. I don’t have anyone to turn to that I can talk to and feel alone. Is it something I will get used to?

We have 3 kids and both work full time. I compress my hours to 4 days and it is exhausting. I’m not going to lie.

I find the following really helpful

• being mega organised, Things like uniforms done all week, stuff they need for school, meal planning, birthday gifts etc, Shopping - I try to plan everything
• share the load - my partner and I work together on stuff and are very equal
• getting enough sleep and downtime so minimal late nights and then on weekends, if we’re out Saturday trying to have Sunday at home.

I think most people have to work more hours these days as the COL is so high and bills are higher than ever - it’s not that people want an extravagant lifestyle, they just need to earn enough to live.

Thanks! This is good advise. I don’t feel like myself, not looking forward to anything and feeling really annoyed for no reason. Not sure if it’s me getting used to it.

Is this your first job back in the workplace since having kids? I remember returning to work after maternity leave and being absolutely frazzled!!!

it will take time to get into a routine and everyone is the same. Don’t feel like it’s just you, it affects the whole family but you’ll get there.

Are your new colleagues nice and supportive?

Thanks! Not my first job since but these hours are the longest I’ve worked. They are 14 hour shifts. I’m so knackered. I don’t want to keep snapping at the kids because I’m tired and overwhelmed

Op I’m sorry but 14 hour shifts, days and nights and parenting- it’s extreme. I don’t think it’s something you should have to get used to. I work 39 hours, a five day week with one day ten and a half hours and I’m broken. And the more people I talk to the more I hear of people who work very differently, using parental leave or flexible working hours. I don’t know that what you’re doing is long term doable

14 hour shifts blimey, anyone would find that tough especially with such small children!

How long have you been in your new role?

I’ve been here a few months, I thought it would be manageable as they are long days but would only need to work 3 days a week to make my hours up.

I quit my role and moved to one with less pressure. Took a pay cut but my burnout had gotten so bad I wasn't mentally 'present' outside of work, it was like watching myself at a distance. Also started to get dizzy spells. I feel like I saved myself from a complete breakdown.

I agree with the pp above. It's sad we have to cope with burnout. Can you chat to your company to make your workload more manageable?

14 hour shifts?? WTF.

That's not normal, sorry OP.
Never mind with kids as well.

You'll be burned out within a couple of weeks.

Look for another job.

Wouldn't even be allowed where I live. (Not UK).

A fe months in my worry is it's not going to just fix itself, but cut yourself some slack as that's a tough gig you have there. The combination of long shifts, mix of days and night and being mum to a preschooler plus school runs - it's a perfect storm.

Reach out for help. Talk to your colleagues about how they manage their sleep. Talk to your GP. Getting help will get harder if you wait until you're struggling even more.

Do you have a partner? Is there more they could do with eg school runs to improve your access to sleep? Be aware sleep deprivation just in itself can really mess with your mood, quality of life and ability to effect change in your life, and mixed shifts can hit quality and amount of sleep quite hard. So consider if it sleep might be part of the problem.

Thanks for this! I think one the problems is management message quite a lot out of work to to say I haven’t done this or that and that gives me anxiety as I would rather not think of it outside of work and can’t see why it can’t wait until I’m on shift

That would make me anxious too. It's poor practice, they shouldn't be doing that. Fine if people choose to respond to messages out of hours but there should not be any compulsion. In your own time you should be free to just switch it off. What would happen if you were to put an out of office on your account outside working hours? Could you try a "work to rule" to protect your statutory rest periods - it's completely reasonable for you not to work during your unpaid time. Maybe get your doctor's support to say you must have uninterrupted rest between shifts? I don't know if that is something a GP can do but I can imagine it might be written on a fit note, maybe alongside a reduction in hours.

I worry you feel like this is all your fault when actually it's not really you, it's poor management, poor shift patterns etc. Look for another job perhaps too. I know it's hard when you're struggling with this one but there will be better employers out there and the quality of life impact could be huge.

14 hr shifts sound just extreme - some nurses and healthcare staff do 12 at our hospital but 15 is absolutely crazy!
im wondering if you need to have a re-think, is there any flexibility to change things round a bit?